Do What You Have To Do
by Ashlyn Rose
Summary: Raven said good bye to the Titans almost twenty years before. Now fate has reintroduced her to her friends, her past, and the love she left behind. Will it be enough to help her escape from the cult that claimed her mother?
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: Don't own them. Which is crappy… but I suppose I'll get over it.

A/N: So this is my first attempt at something that isn't a one shot. It's only half-formed in my mind right now, but I'm really excited about it. Prologue is a little rough, but I think it's necessary for my story… you get all the background I want you to know when the story opens. So I hope you see promise somewhere. And don't forget to RR to let me know what you think!

Warnings: The story is very PG at the most right now, but it'll go up in later chapters. This is going to end up being a lot of various things, so I'm not saying anything about pairings… just wait and see, ok?

**Do What You Have To Do**

**Prologue**

_When she was warm and tender_

_And you held her arms around you _

_There was nothing but her love and affection_

_She was crazy for you_

_Now she's part of something that you've lost_

_And for all you know_

_This could be_

_The difference between what you need and_

_What you wanna be_

_What you wanna be_

_- Matchbox Twenty, The Difference_

Somewhere a clock struck six and as if to emphasize the passing time, the setting sun snuck through the cracks in the blinds and fell just short of reaching the lone figure in the corner of the room. He sat opposite an outfit he affectionately referred to as his own personal torture chamber, but what everyone else just called a tuxedo. "One more hour," he muttered, his voice calm, stoic… and what anyone else would classify as uncharacteristic for the occasion he was supposed to be preparing for. He continued to glare at the lifeless clothing on the hanger, arms crossed in defiance. A sharp knock on the door distracted him from his personal silence.

"Rob, come on man! She's going to be out there before you are!" It was the baritone voice of Cyborg, his best friend and the one who through the entire process had kept Robin sane.

"I'll be out in a minute," he assured his friend. He waited until he heard the heavy footsteps of the half-man, half-machine recede down the hallway and then, defeated, got up and began to get ready.

The truth was Robin, though responsible for the events that had passed in the last five months, suddenly found himself doubting his decision. It was a rather _safe_ choice, and that was a word the bird did not like to use when describing himself. Eight years ago he had seen things coming out much differently. In fact it had been exactly eight years ago the week before when his fate was, in his opinion, forced in a new direction. Because eight years ago, she had abandoned him.

Slipping on the uncomfortable pants, shirt, and jacket of the tuxedo, Robin allowed himself one last trip down memory lane before he would become someone completely different from the boy he once was…

At sixteen the young Robin thought he'd found his match in the dark empath of his team. Though it had taken quite a while, once the two stubborn birds had realized what they had, they had taken it and ran with it. Raven was the one who could understand his demons, because she had her own. They lived in their own world unbeknownst to their fellow Titans. She was always there, and always would be there… or so he thought.

Not too long after they had declared love for each other, Robin woke up one day to a note lying on his nightstand. It was on plain white paper, message written in her calm, fluid handwriting… and it told him she was leaving. Even now he wondered how a single piece of paper had managed to change the course of his life. _I have no choice_ she had written; _In time you will come to realize that this is the best thing for everyone… especially you._ He had torn the letter up in initial anger, and later regretted it.

He had wondered, as he relayed the message to his teammates, if she knew how much her actions would affect the Tower. Robin knew that Raven had always considered herself an outcast, but she had been there, and that was what had been important to them all. The Tower had been uncharacteristically quiet for weeks following her disappearance, but slowly and surely things got back to normal and Raven became a memory.

A memory to everyone but Robin. Though outwardly he too moved on from the loss, every morning he hoped that he would wake up and she would be on the roof meditating, waiting for him. He fruitlessly tried to search for her, but she left no trail. The hope dwindled with the passing of years, and now all that remained was a single thread. A thread he was going to cut when he said the words "I do."

Finishing his preparations with a final tug at his bowtie, Robin stepped out of his chambers and moved down the hall to the sanctuary. As he approached he heard the voices of the guests, and a tiny voice in the back of his mind told him to run. He reached into his jacket pocket and took out a handful of shredded pieces of paper. He clenched them in his fist, and chocked back tears as her soft _I love you_ danced across his memory. Then he looked beside him and saw the trash can. He had to keep moving. The church was only a few steps away. With one last glance at the words _especially you_, Robin deposited Raven's final words to him into the can and continued onward to the sanctuary where his future awaited him.

"Ready?" Cyborg questioned, placing a hand on Robin's shoulder. The groom nodded, though said nothing. He walked into the sea of white and pink that decorated the church and stood at the front, awaiting his bride. In the moments before the wedding march played, Robin took a survey of the crowd. All at once the sensation that he was being watched overtook him and with a glimmer of hope he looked up to the balcony. His rather unsociable mentor stood in the shadows that the upper level alone, and with a nod acknowledge his happiness for his protégé. Robin managed a smile for the Bat, though it hid quiet disappointment. If she would come he would… what would he do?

Then the music started, jolting Robin from his 'what if' scenario. Everyone stared in awe at the beautiful alien who was slowly beginning her voyage down the aisle. Robin, too, looked at the girl who was to be his wife and smiled at her as she got closer to him. Starfire had become to Robin the only other path he saw for himself after Raven disappeared. She was pretty, and he enjoyed her company… she was the safe life he couldn't believe he was letting himself venture into. As she finished her journey and stood across from him, her hands in his own, Robin tried to see into his future. As the minister began the ceremony, Robin only half-listened.

He would live a happy life with Starfire. He would be a good and loving husband. They could continue to fight crime and might one day have a family of their own. Then what was there to complain about? The answer hit Robin forcefully in the gut, though it was his heart that felt the pain.

Though he loved Starfire, it was a different love. Raven had made him _complete_ and with Starfire he was still the same, broken, troubled man with a past Starfire's bubbly, optimistic nature could not grasp…

The question was asked at this point in Robin's thoughts, and the room awaited his answer. _This is it… Goodbye, Raven… I will always love you_. "I do." He offered a genuine smile to Starfire, who beamed back.

"You may kiss the bride."

Robin did as he was commanded, and as he and Starfire broke apart he heard a voice in his mind that he thought he'd just decided to forget. But this, he knew, was no figment of imagination. This was real. She was here and she was using their connection, still as sharp as ever even after not being used, to give him her blessing. _I told you it would be the best thing to do for you._ He felt her sigh and glanced up to the balcony in time to see black wings as they left the church, and his life, forever.

_I know soon you will be_

_Over the lies, you'll be strong_

_You'll be rich in love and you will carry on_

_But no… oh no_

_No you won't be mine_

_- Matchbox Twenty, You Won't be Mine_

A/N: Just to clarify… 16 when Raven left, 16+8 would mean that everyone is more or less 24 at this point in time. Okay, now feel free to let me know what you think! I'd appreciate it! Oh and thanks to those of you who reviewed my first ever story so nicely (Chica de Los Ojos Café, Tears of a Phoenix, Kast)! It meant a lot to me!


	2. Come Around Again

Disclaimer: They aren't mine. One little piece is, but you'll know what I'm talking about when you get there.

A/N: First off, and most important, THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS! It was great hearing that people enjoyed the prologue. Hopefully Chapter 1 lives up to all your expectations. I also wanted to let everyone know that I'm not really familiar with the comic book Teen Titans, so my story is coming from the TV series only. I use everyone's real name and hopefully I got them all right. The one that I had to fudge was Bumblebee's who I mention once. I have no idea what her real name is, but if anyone out there knows I'd be happy to change it to what it should be! I also turn Robin into Nightwing, but I'm not the top expert in that area. If you see something that needs to be fixed, again just let me know.

Warnings: Had to knock the rating up one, though it isn't that big of a deal. I have a bad word somewhere in here. Obviously this is going to have relationship complications so bear with me while I sort through the messy knots and tangles I've created.

Okay, on to Chapter 1! Have fun!

**Chapter 1: Come Around Again**

_I've still got sand in my shoes_

_And I can't shake the thought of you_

_I should get on_

_Forget you_

_But why would I want to?_

_I know we said goodbye_

_Anything else would have been confused_

_But I want to see you again_

_- Dido, Sand in My Shoes_

Though the night wind nipped at his skin, leaving cheeks and nose red, and sheets of icy rain barraged him from all sides, mating his black hair to his face and neck, Nightwing stood still in the shadows, watching over his city. Through the film of his mask he observed every nook and cranny of the city he had memorized. The bird was waiting for something to happen. _Please… something happen._

It was not as if Nightwing wanted to see his city in shambles, the people suffering, and his life _constantly_ full of fighting crime. He was just bored. Crime was at an all time low in Jump City thanks to him and his team, which he should have been happy about. But he slipped into bed every night with a sinking feeling that the profession of superhero was slowly becoming obsolete.

His teammates, however, were not of that opinion. Being a part-time Titan was enough for Starfire, Cyborg, and Beastman (here Nightwing allowed himself a chuckle… Beastboy had insisted on being referred to as 'man,' but it just didn't fit him somehow). It gave them more time to be themselves- Kori Grayson, Victor Stone, Garfield Logan- and that was what they had wanted since the day they had formed their crime-fighting group, though Nightwing doubted they'd realized it at the time. While everyone else flourished in normalcy, Nightwing floundered in it.

He was the only one who had not forsaken the night watch. He had grudgingly allowed the rest of the team to win that fight. 'It's not necessary,' they had told him. 'We'll know if something happens. That's what alarms are for.' Nightwing could not bring himself to give it up. The others could apparently easily distinguish themselves between hero and normal citizen… he could not. This was who he was. He had been fighting crime and keeping nighttime vigilances since he'd been a kid. Nightwing deserved as much room in his body and his life as Dick Grayson.

While Nightwing was tormented by nightmares of uselessness, Dick Grayson lived a content and, as he had predicted ten years before, safe life. Time had given him a daughter who, with her red hair and bottle-green eyes, was the miniature of her mother and a relationship that was stable and loving. When he's first realized that being a hero would not, in fact, provide for a family, Dick had taken a job at Jump University teaching psychology and criminology, subjects he knew inside and out. He had successfully integrated himself into the world of double-lives. Tomorrow would be the first day of class and the beginning of his sixth year at the school.

Cold rain droplets had begun to successfully penetrate Nightwing's uniform and a rumble of thunder and flash of lightning crushed his hopes of a quick end to the storm. Classes did start tomorrow… Nothing had happened in the three hours he'd been out… It was time to go home.

Unfreezing himself from his perched position above the city, Nightwing gracefully soared through the air and landed in the alleyway where he'd placed his motorcycle. Revving the engine, he skidded off through the deserted streets of the sleeping city. As he passed the now abandoned church where so long ago he had watched helplessly as Raven battled her future, Nightwing's sharp eyes caught a glimpse of a flash of red through one of the clouded stained glass windows. Making a one-eighty turn with his bike he back tracked and, leaving his motorcycle in the alley next to the church, pushed open the door to a building that should have been as asleep as the rest of the city.

Upon opening the doors to the dilapidated building Nightwing was greeted by nothing but darkness. Yet his trained ears heard the distinct sound of ragged breathing. "Who's there?" He took a step forward into the unknown but stopped short when he heard a warning that seemed to come from every direction at once.

"Leave trespasser." The eerie voice carried a note that chilled Nightwing to the bone, though he showed no signs of the unsettling feeling. "This fight is not yours."

"Fight?" At that moment the storm allowed Nightwing a flash of lightning so he could see exactly what he had walked into. Though it only lasted a second, it was ample time for the masked hero to get his bearings.

The voice he had heard came from a man who appeared to be dressed in some kind of robe. It was the sight at his feet that made Nightwing question his own perception. Huddled and bleeding was a figure who looked like… but it couldn't be.

"Raven?" he whispered, moving closer to her.

"No!" The man, frustrated that Nightwing had not obeyed his commands, raised his hand. He chanted words that Nightwing could not decipher and a rush of hot flames issued from his palm, heading straight for Nightwing. Caught off guard, Nightwing could not dodge the fast fire, and was broadsided. He felt the fire eating away at his uniform and biting at his skin.

As if brought back to life by her attacker's distraction, the figure on the floor shot up and tackled the robed man, pinning him to the floor with one hand around his neck, slowly limiting his air supply. "You tell that bastard you call master to _leave me alone_," she said the last three words in a low, threatening whisper, her hand pressing down harder and harder on the man's throat.

"You only… deny…" the man coughed, but eagerly continued his threat, "the inevitable. You can't fight… our master."

"You don't know anything about what I can and cannot do." She stood up as if to leave, the man behind her coughed and chocked as he was allowed to breathe freely again. Then he stood on shaky legs, raising his hands as he had done prior to attacking Nightwing.

But before he got the chance, words that Nightwing thought he'd never hear again echoed through the empty church. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos!" The man was again pinned, this time to the wall dully illuminated by the black power that encased him.

The girl's voice was determined and challenging as she issued a warning of her own. "Stay away from me. And tell Trigon I said 'hello'." With a final rush of power the girl threw the man to the opposite wall and watched as he fell and hit the floor, motionless. His body was immediately devoured in flames, leaving the injured Nightwing alone with the stranger who he thought he knew.

He listened as foot steps approached him, wishing he had a light of some kind. As if granting his wish, the storm produced another flash of lightning allowing him a glimpse at her face. He had caught her eyes, large and lavender, as they looked down at him. He tried to stand up so he could get closer to her. He _needed_ to get closer to her. However, the burns he had sustained were worse than he'd originally thought and as he stood he had to take a pew for support.

"You're hurt." Her voice was worried and had a hint of… was it fear? She seemed to hesitate before coming up to him and gently guiding him back to the floor to sit. Then he felt warm hands touch his shoulder and back where the fire had penetrated his body and felt the stinging sensation that was a by-product of Raven's healing powers. "I'm sorry you got dragged into this," she said with openness that he had rarely heard from Raven. "There," her hands left his skin. "You might still want to go to a hospital." She stood up, ready to leave. But Nightwing was not going to watch her go… if he had anything to say about it, he'd never have to watch her go again.

"Raven, wait." He reached for her hand, but she stepped back. He sensed her fear.

"You really should go to a hospital." Blackness surrounded her and she sunk into the floorboards and out of his grasp.

Nightwing clenched his still open hand in defeat and brought it back down to his side. He had let her get away again. She'd run away from him again. But she was in Jump City, and judging by what he'd seen, Nightwing assumed it was going to be a long stay. She was back on his turf and he was going to find her and get the answers to questions he had formed all those years ago. He needed to see her, hear her, feel her…

This time there would be no running away.

* * *

Thirty minutes after his encounter with the past found Nightwing in his old room at Titan Tower. The living quarters were rarely used anymore; everyone had moved on to their own homes. It had been an end to the bond that living together created that they knew would eventually come. Their normal alter-egos needed somewhere to live their lives: Dick and Kori needed a place to raise their daughter, Victor and Jessie Stone had a home that lied between both Towers, and Garfield Logan could not easily refer to the Tower as his bachelor pad, so he had found an apartment in the city.

Now Nightwing's room had a thin layer of dust from disuse. He stood in front of the mirror, examining the injuries that now only appeared to be a bad case of sunburn. Satisfied that he could function properly without telling is teammates about the injuries, he changed out of the tattered uniform , put on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, and removed his mask.

Dick Grayson moved through the hallways of the empty, cold structure that had once been so full of life. He stopped briefly at the door with the name RAVEN engraved on it. His fingers gingerly traced the letters, wondering if it was still the same inside. Right after Raven's disappearance he'd come to her room every night, laid in her bed, and imagined she was there beside him wrapped in his arms, never to leave. Though he would never admit it to anyone, he cried himself to sleep on each one of those lonely nights.

His hands eagerly reached for the console that kept Raven's room safe from the world, but he stopped himself before punching the numbers. The face of his watch told him it was nearing one o'clock. Kori would start to worry if he didn't get home soon. Frustration bubbled inside Dick and he slammed both fists into Raven's door.

_What am I doing?_

He had made peace with Raven's ghost long before, but her appearance tonight made the casing he'd built around her section of his heart had crumbled upon seeing her again. But had it _really_ been her? It had been dark, and he could easily have been seeing things… But it had been her powers, her voice, and her fight with Trigon.

"Nightwing?"

Moving away from Raven's door and continuing to the garage, Dick answered the call on his comm link. "Hey Star." Her face relaxed with relief and she smiled at her husband.

"Where are you?"

"On my way home," he said, straddling his motorcycle and starting the engine. "I'll be there in a couple of minutes."

"Alright." There was a slight pause on her side. "I love you."

"I love you too, Star." His response was instinctual by now, a force of habit. Tonight had convinced him of that. But she was his reality, and Raven was his dream. As he had fallen from the cloud that he and Raven had sat upon, Starfire had been there to catch him.

He would forget about the events of the night, just as he had seemingly forgotten every look, every touch, and every kiss she'd ever given him. Yet as he sped down the tunnel that connected the Tower to his home in suburbia, the only image in Dick's head was her piercing violet stare glaring at the most intimate secrets of his heart.

* * *

"Miss Davenport?"

Professor Dick Grayson had been lecturing for an hour, the last fifteen minutes of which he'd spent slowly making his way to the back of his classroom. He was headed for the girl in the back row whose head had conveniently settled itself into her right hand, black hair obscuring her closed eyes from the professor, but that hadn't prevented him from knowing they were closed. The other students, interested to see what would happen to the girl, had all been paying rapt attention to the professor ever since he'd started his journey up the stairs to the back of the lecture hall.

"Miss Davenport?" Dick repeated calmly.

Her head slowly rose from its position and she shook it a couple times as she reclaimed her bearings. She looked around the room, and upon realizing that she had fallen asleep in her very first class at Jump University, her face flushed to a lovely cherry color. Her head rose as if to meet the professor's crossed arms and slightly annoyed, slightly amused face, but she kept her eyes focused on the floor.

"I'm sorry, Professor."

"Perhaps I should be the one apologizing if my lectures are so boring that they put my students to sleep."

"Oh no, sir," she said, finally looking directly at him. "I just had a late night is all… It won't happen again."

Dick had not heard the girl's explanation. She'd looked at him and he suddenly didn't care why she'd fallen asleep. Her eyes were the distinct shade of purple that he'd seen on only one other person. Caught off guard, Dick had allowed a floodgate to open in his mind… question upon question built up in his brain. He could not string together coherent thoughts. Then he noticed his sleeping student shift uncomfortably under his stare.

Blinking and quickly moving from her desk to the front of the classroom, Dick told his students, "I think we've all had enough for one day. Read the first section of the book in order to prepare for next class." The students, happy that their first class had ended early, rushed past him, some thanking him for his time. He sat down at his desk and raked his hands through his hair.

"I really am sorry, Professor. I'm not usually the type to fall asleep."

She was standing in front of his desk, books clutched to her chest, looking at him with those eyes… He could not bear to meet her gaze. She needed to leave. "It's fine, Miss Davenport. I'll see you in class on Thursday." He listened as her footsteps carried her out of the classroom and down the hallway.

Dick attempted to organize his thoughts in the now empty room. He'd seen her powers last night, her eyes this morning… Raven had perhaps developed more secrets than she had had when she left the Tower. Now, more than ever he felt the need to see her. He desperately needed her explanation.

"I need some air," he concluded aloud. Grabbing his jacket on the way out, he went to take a walk around campus.

* * *

The cool September air cleared his turbulent mind. He walked through the college campus, greeting past students as he passed them and watching late students rush past him, coffee in one hand and books in another. After a twenty minute walk, he thought he was ready to return to the psychology building and prepare for his next class.

Then he felt it.

Eyes on his back, looking through the flesh into his soul, into his mind. Slowly he turned around, and there she was. Not a ghost, not in his imagination… she was there in the daylight looking right at him. Her back rested against the building behind her, arms crossed. Her longer, but still violet hair framed her pale, almost unchanged, face. Her eyes, still wide and clear, met his and acted as a magnet, drawing him toward her.

He broke into a run, crossing the grounds eager to get to her before she had time to get away. For eighteen years he had fought with her memory. He was tired of fighting. He wanted to make peace with her, and now was his chance.

"Raven," he said breathlessly. He took his final steps toward her cautiously, afraid that she might disappear if he got too close.

"Not here."

"What?"

Raven's eyes never left his own. "You and I both know that your mind is reeling with questions." She shifted her weight so she was no longer supported by the building, moving closer to him. "I've owed you answers for a long time. But right now is not a good time for either of us. You have class soon and I… have some things to take care of."

"When?" Dick could have smacked himself for allowing his desperation to taint his voice.

"Tonight, my room in the Tower."

"And you'll be there?"

She offered him a weak smile. "I know I haven't given you any reason to trust me. But you have to believe me when I say that I've kept things to myself that I can't keep anymore. You need to know, and I need to tell you before you work things out for yourself. Are you doing night watch tonight?"

"I'm the only one who ever has night watch anymore."

"I'll wait for you in my room. Come when you're ready." She looked to her right and left, finding the campus conveniently deserted. With one last smile, she enveloped herself in black and flew off into the blue sky out of sight.

Dick followed her with his eyes, turning to leave when she disappeared. "Tonight."

* * *

Additional notes: So the church scene was a personal homage to "Birthmark." I thought it was so cool that they went into a church to (temporarily) escape Slade. It's like the whole sanctuary thing… a church offers protection from things like demons. I just thought it was an interesting concept. Also, I'm sorry it took a while to get this chapter up. School is not fun right now. I'm trying to finish Chapter 2 before the school week starts, but I'm not making any promises except that I'll work as fast and as best as I can. Don't forget to let me know what you think!

- Ashlyn


	3. Look What You've Done

Disclaimer: Don't own the Titans or much else for that matter. You'll know what's mine when you get there…

A/N: Woot! Two updates in two days! I'm so proud of myself. I can't promise this kind of speed all the time, but I really wanted to use my day off to work on the story and I ended up getting through an entire chapter. And why torture everyone by making them wait for something that was ready? Okay, I think that's it for now, but there's another note at the end. Just one more thing that I can't say enough… Thank you, thank you, thank you for the reviews!

Warnings: Okay, so to clear up the whole relationship question a little, I'm just going to say this. It's not going to be an easy ride for Robin and Raven. He is married after all and with a kid I might add. What I can tell you is that this will not end up to be a Rob/Star fic because I don't exactly support that couple. So just hang in there and prepare for some emotional turbulence for our two love birds!

Oh, and Teya, I definitely wanted to write in Raven's POV and this chapter let me do that. I hope you like it!

**Chapter 2: Look What You've Done**

_Funny how one can learn_

_To grow numb to the madness_

_And block it away_

_I left the worst unsaid_

_Let it all dissipate_

_And I try to forget_

_As I closed my eyes_

_Steadied my feet on the ground_

_Raised my head to the sky_

_And the time rolled by_

_Still I feel like a child _

_When I look at the moon_

_Maybe I grew up_

_A little too soon_

_- Mariah Carey, Close My Eyes_

Raven sat quietly on her old bed examining the room that had been the only real home she'd ever known. Her books had not been touched; the covers and pages were decorated by layers of dust. Her uniforms still hung in the closet and she briefly wondered how crazy she'd been to only wear a leotard and a cape into battle no matter what the weather was like. Little pieces of the life she'd had at the Tower hid around the room. The darkest corner of her bookshelf held a joke book she'd received from Beastboy one Christmas ("Now you can read _and _learn how to laugh a little!"). There was also a space in the topmost shelf where she had removed a book, giving it to Cyborg. He had needed it more than she had. Under her mirror at the far end of the room sat a bag of unopened hair ties that Starfire had forced her to buy on their last trip to the mall.

The vase on her nightstand saddened her more than any other object from her past. It held two long dead roses that she'd received from Robin the night before she left him. Her heart ached at the sight of the flowers. Petals, brown and dry, littered the table around the vase. The stems had shriveled leaves and an unnatural color. The water was stagnant and resembled what she would have found had she looked into a pond.

Reaching across the bed, she took one of the lifeless petals and thought how truly it reflected the way her life had turned out. The night he'd given these to her, she'd been happy. The red color had represented the love she had, her passion, her happiness. Now she was without love. She'd forced him to move on and leave her to wither up.

The sound of her door sliding open surprised Raven and she clenched her fists, crushing the used-to-be petal. He was there, just outside her doorway and he was looking around. When his eyes found her, sitting on her bed, framed in moonlight, he came into the room allowing the door to shut behind him. He was wearing the uniform that she'd never had the privilege of seeing him in. At first she was uncomfortable in the presence of this would-be stranger, but the mask that hid his eyes from her was a reassuring familiarity and she relaxed in its presence.

He walked over to where she was and sat down next to her. Examining his long hair, muscles that had finally reached their maturity, and the curved line of his jaw she made an obvious observation. "You've changed." He looked over at her, a smirk on his face. He moved closer to her, so close that she could feel his breath on her lips. She nervously backed away, but he only followed her. He was so close… _too_ close. She needed to be rational, logical… this was no time to go weak at the knees.

Raven placed her hand on his chest, reveling in the sensation the feel of his muscles sent down her spine and regretting it at the same time. Nevertheless, she managed to create a decent space in between them. "We're going to have to set some ground rules."

He offered her his cocky smile. "Really?"

"First," she reached up, removing the mask from his eyes. She was momentarily distracted by the brilliant hunter green that she used to spend hours drowning in, but an amused cough from his side brought her back to reality. "No masks. No more secrets. On both our parts. Second," she stood up and moved to the center of her room where she proceeded to float with her legs crossed under her. "You stay on the bed. I'll stay over here. Distance, I think, will be our ally tonight."

Now it was the time that they both had anticipated since the day she'd left. It was the calm before the storm, and Raven let the silence that passed between them continue. She used the time to let her mind wander into his own. The mind-meld she had created all those years ago was still strong, and she could feel him lurking in her mind, searching for answers that she kept locked up.

Since his silent attempt to gain answers proved to be futile, Nightwing voiced the question that was most important to him. "Why did you leave?" Now he would have the answer to what had plagued him for so long.

"Robin, I…" Raven began, but Nightwing's soft chuckle stopped her in her tracks. "What is so funny?"

"I haven't been Robin for a while…"

Raven looked at him sadly. She had missed so many years. He wasn't the same and she wasn't the same. That was what he was trying to tell her. "I came here tonight to talk to the boy I loved. If Robin is not somewhere in there," she gestured to his body, "then there is no reason for me to be here." Her eyes challenged Nightwing for a response and when none came, she returned to her explanation.

"It was more than one thing that drove me from the Tower. One was my struggle with Trigon. It was getting to a point where I was having trouble maintaining control. I was volatile and a danger to you, to the team, and to myself. And before you say a word," Raven prompted, noticing Nightwing's attempt to argue, "no, you really couldn't have helped me. Trigon is my fight. He is inside me and it is my job to keep him under control. But the other, more pressing matter that forced me to leave…" Her voice trailed off and she sighed. Her eyes chose the view of the water and the moon outside her window instead of meeting his face. She opened her mouth to finish, but he beat her to the confession.

"You were pregnant."

Tentatively Raven looked back at him, slightly surprised. But then could she expect any less of him? "I see you haven't lost any of those detective skills. Well, what could I have done? I wouldn't have been able to fight, it would have endangered her life. I would have been a hindrance, and I knew it. So I left. It was the best thing to do, especially…"

"For me," Robin finished for her. "I read your note." He crossed his arms and glared at her. "So who's the father?"

"What?" Raven said, anger coursing through her veins. The books on her shelf rattled. "What do you mean 'who's the father'?"

"Well, it can't be me. Because I know that you would never leave because you were pregnant with _our_ child and not tell me _anything _about it."

Raven bit her lip guiltily. "You know good and well that she's yours." Her sad, defeated voice echoed through the room.

"And you thought it was best to keep that from me, did you?" His voice was angry, hurt and the change in his normally calm demeanor assailed the empath who floated across from him.

"We were sixteen, Robin!" She said, attempting to make him see her rationale. "We were heroes covered in the news at least once a day. You were the city's golden boy and I was the shadowy outcast. It was an impossible situation." Raven swallowed back tears, the pain from so long ago attacked her with fresh force. "I didn't know what to do."

"So, as usual, you kept it to yourself. You didn't trust me to protect you." Nightwing did not try to hide the bitterness in his voice.

"No, that's not it at all! Robin, you are one of the few people that I trust completely. But that's why I _couldn't_ tell you. Don't you see? You would have given up everything for me, and I didn't deserve it." She ran her hands through her long violet hair in frustration. "At the time it just seemed like the most logical resolution to the matter." Her eyes never left his, and they begged for his forgiveness. They were lost, broken, desperate… "I am sorry for everything I've done to you, Robin." Finally she'd told him what she'd been whispering to a memory for eighteen years.

Seeing the usually strong and rational Raven defeated shook Nightwing and his anger started to ebb. In a wave of compassion he asked a simple question that required a simple answer. "What's her name?"

"Hm?" Raven asked, dragging herself from the pit of her despair.

"Your… _our_ daughter. What's her name?"

"Alette. But she'll let you know that she prefers Ali."

"Raven, you were pregnant and sixteen. Where on earth did you go?"

Raven gave a somber laugh, remembering how scared she had been as she flew away from the Tower. "Well that was the thing, wasn't it? I couldn't go back to Azarath and I had no family. What was I going to do? That first day I managed to fly until I reached Gotham." She saw his interest at the mention of the city he'd grown up in. "I had some money so I decided to stay in a hotel for the night so I could sort out my situation… figure out something… make a plan. Well, you and I both know that Gotham is not such a safe place after the sun sets. It so happened that there was a bank across from my hotel and that this bank was being robbed on the night I stayed there. I thought I should intervene. But I went to attack and my powers were… off. Now I know it was the pregnancy. My powers were haywire during the next nine months. So I was suddenly helpless facing a bunch of thugs who all had guns. I took a bullet," she instinctively clutched her side where Nightwing assumed she'd been hit. "And damn that's a painful experience. I remember trying to heal myself, but I was losing blood too fast and I was too weak to make much of a difference. I was scared for the baby… for myself...

"I woke up in a place that I'd only heard stories about. Stories you used to tell me when we were alone."

"The Batcave," Robin offered.

Raven nodded in agreement. "Apparently Batman had recognized me as a member of his protégé's team and took me in while I recovered from the wound. He has a way of getting people to spill anything he wants to hear, and I found myself telling him my entire situation. He offered me a place to stay until I could work things out. It actually became a period of about three years, but we- Bruce, Alfred, and I- became close friends and we all helped raise Ali in her first years. I don't know what I would have done without them."

Nightwing had been prepared for almost anything except this. He had been in Gotham, been to Bruce's mansion, many times over the years. And she'd been there the entire time, right under his nose. How did he miss it?

"Actually," Raven offered sheepishly, reading his thoughts, "Alette and I were always conveniently _out_ of town whenever you were _in_ town. It was agreed upon that it wasn't the time to tell you anything."

"So you and Bruce just decided how I should live my life, then?" Anger sparked again inside Nightwing. He stood up, yelling at Raven. "I loved you! And you ran away! I was in despair, and you thought it was best for me that you kept running away?"

Raven did not flinch. She had learned long ago how to handle Robin's explosions. "Love is a tricky thing," she offered when he stopped to take a breath. "_You_ think that our love meant I should have been able to handle anything as long as you were there to help me through it. _I_ thought that I was honoring our love by giving you a chance to lead a normal life. You see, I've always been an outcast. I wasn't going to force the life on you."

In Nightwing's silence Raven continued her story, ignoring the green glare that settled in her direction. "With Bruce's help I changed my name to Raven Davenport and moved into an apartment above an abandoned shop in the city. I turned the shop into a book store and café, and it's actually quite popular. It's where I've been for the last fifteen years.

"Alette and I remain close to Bruce and Alfred. Ali is Bruce's goddaughter and he's taught her everything that he knows. I like to think that by allowing her to spend time with him, I am giving Ali a connection to her father, even if she doesn't know it."

"So she doesn't know about me then?"

"She knows she has a father and that he is a good man, and she's come to peace with only knowing that much."

"I want to meet her."

Raven laughed and rolled her eyes. "I believe you've already had the pleasure, twice if her stories are correct." She watched as the detective put the pieces of the puzzle together in his head and when he looked up at her, he silently asked for conformation of the story that he'd created.

"I know you thought it was me that you saw last night, but I was at home in Gotham until early this morning when I got a phone call from my daughter saying that she'd stumbled across someone in the distant Jump City who seemed to know me. What you walked in on last night was my overzealous teenager doing something she got an hour lecture for this afternoon." Raven paused to place her thumb and her forefinger across the bridge of her nose as if to emphasize the stress that being a parent caused. "Which would explain why she fell asleep in your class this morning."

"Then I wasn't going crazy. God Raven, I saw her eyes this morning and I just…"

"Yes, well, I can't say you've made the best first impression. She thinks that the guy from last night is crazy for thinking she was her mother, and not to mention now she's asking questions about how someone in Jump City would know who I was. Add to that the fact that her psychology professor stared at her for a good two or three minutes in class today, and you get a rough image of the picture she's put together. I guess it's a good thing that she has no idea that both the crazy men aren't the same person." Raven couldn't help but smirk as she remembered her daughter's animated analysis of both the mysterious figure who had saved her and the psychology teacher who'd caught her sleeping.

"Some good has come out of your chance encounters, though. It's stopped my running. Now that she has found a small connection between me and this city, she won't stop until she's found out more about it. In that way she reminds me of you. Ever the detective. Now I have to tell her everything before she finds out on her own, but I thought I owed the truth to you first. I'm just scared that one more piece of information like this might be too much for her. She's in her first week of college, adjusting to life away from home, fighting…" Raven's voice trailed off and her aversion of Nightwing's eyes led him to pry.

"What was she doing in that church last night Raven?"

Raven glanced at him and came down from her floating position. She walked over to the dusty glass of her mirror, placing a hand on each side of the table underneath it. In her dull reflection Nightwing saw a look of self-hatred in Raven's eyes. She spoke to answer his question, but her focus remained on her own image in the mirror.

"Robin, do you remember what I told you about my mother?"

He still sat on the bed, but his arms itched to wrap around her slender waist and comfort her. Resisting that urge, Nightwing responded. "She was a member of a cult and that's how she got involved with Trigon."

"Yes. I've never actually known much about this cult she was in, but about a week ago they showed up on my door step proclaiming that their master had sent them to retrieve his vessels… myself and Alette. If there's one thing I've always had to be honest about with Ali, it's that she's part demon. I taught her control and how to keep the presence of Trigon at bay. Thankfully she has a much easier time because she doesn't have as much of him inside her as I do," she realized she'd side-tracked and returned to the original answer. "We've been fighting them off, and I thought she would get away from it at college, but that didn't work out. She was fighting one of them last night."

"Trigon is still trying to fulfill the prophecy, then?"

"He won't stop until it has come to pass."

A sad silence followed Raven's desolate conclusion. The air was heavy with the load that she had taken off of her shoulders. She remained at the mirror, watching visions of the past dance before her among the dust that clung to the glass. Nightwing sat on the bed, also lost in thought. He was trying to count the number of times he'd huddled in the bed, wishing for Raven's return. Fate had dealt the two tortured lovers a tough hand.

"What's she like?" asked Nightwing, attempting to distract both himself and Raven from their dark past and impossible future.

"What?" she responded, not having understood him. She turned around, leaning against the table for support.

"Tell me about Alette."

Raven smiled with what could only be classified as maternal pride. "She's stubborn to a fault, which I expected given that her parents both have that problem. She's intelligent. She cares a great deal for the people in her life and fights very hard to protect them. She likes to challenge authority, particularly mine. She changed me forever, and I wouldn't trade her for anything."

Nightwing voiced one of the things that had bothered him since Raven had confirmed that they had a daughter. "Then… you don't regret it?"

"How could I?" Raven wished she could hold him, and tell him how much she still loved him. "I'm just sorry that I monopolized her for so long."

"I don't really know if I can forgive you for this, Rae."

"I'm not asking you to."

Then Raven broke her own rule and moved over to sit down next to Nightwing. She took his right hand in her left and held it tight. "Are you happy?" she whispered softly.

Nightwing chose his words carefully. "I'm content." He looked over at Raven to make sure she understood the difference and she nodded. She rested her head on his shoulder, a shoulder she had longed for every night that she lay in bed brooding over her lost love.

"I screwed things up real bad, didn't I?"

Nightwing looked at the hand in his own and felt her hair against his neck. He could feel her desolation, her longing, her self-hate. "Raven, it's in the past. We can't keep looking back."

Raven sighed, turning her attention to the problems of her love. "So you're content are you? What keeps you from happiness?"

Finally he could tell someone. He could share anything with Raven, and he had needed to talk for a long time. "I live in a city where the crime rate drops by the day and being a hero isn't so necessary. I have a wife who is a friend, but I don't love her," he squeezed Raven's hand as he mentioned this, "and I have an eight-year-old that I can't abandon. My life feels like its on auto pilot and I can't take much more of it."

"God… I _really_ screwed up."

"Raven stop taking all the blame. You didn't ask Starfire to marry you. You didn't tell yourself that a child would help heal the wounds. You didn't resign yourself to a life you knew was less than what you wanted."

She lifted her head and took his face in both her hands, reason being replaced by need- need to mend his wounds and her own. Her eyes glistened with tears and he gently wiped the escaped droplets from her face. "What a mess we've made," Raven observed as she drew closer to Nightwing's face. If only she could kiss him… it would make everything bearable. He moved closer to her, following her lead. But just as the two dreamers were about to return to the world they'd both abandoned, reality smacked them in the face.

At the same time Raven's cell phone began to ring, Nightwing's communicator beeped an alarm. They separated quickly, Nightwing putting his mask back on as he moved to stand just outside Raven's door and Raven to stand at the opposite end of the room. He answered the call with a quick "What is it?"

"Mom, I don't know where you are but get to a place where you can see the forest outside the city. They're setting it on fire or something." Raven listened to her frantic daughter.

"Man, we thought it was just a fire, but it's not spreading. It's not spreading because it's _people_." Nightwing listened to Cyborg's report with one ear and Raven's conversation with the other.

"It's that symbol… the one you told me belonged to Trigon. What are they doing? People are going to get hurt." Raven listened to her daughter, trying to calm Alette down, but to no avail. "They could do a lot of damage," Ali concluded. "I'm going to try and stop them. You can join me if you want."

"Ali, wait!" Raven pleaded, but Ali's end went dead. As she put her phone back in her pocket, Raven listened as Nightwing wrapped up his conversation with a "I'll be there in a minute." He walked back into the room, greeted by the look of worry Raven had on her face. Her world was soon to become a lot smaller if Ali ran into the Titans.

"The Titans are on their way to 'a fire but not really a fire' outside the city," he informed her, directly quoting Cyborg and confirming her worst fears.

"So is Ali." She sighed heavily. "Won't this be a convenient little reunion?" Sarcasm laced her voice.

He offered her a supportive smile. "See you there?"

"Yeah. I'll see you there."

Nightwing ran off to the garage and his motorcycle and Raven transformed into a large black bird, leaving whatever they still needed to say for another day.

* * *

Ali got there first. _There must be fifty of them_, she thought as she made an estimate of how many she was up against. They were all wearing robes the color of blood and all had their arms raised allowing fire to flow freely from their palms. _They're in some kind of trance_, she concluded. _Well, now or never_. 

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos!"

But not only was it Ali who cried the chant, knocking down cult members with her power. She saw her mother hovering above her, taking out some of her own. She smiled up in acknowledgement, missing the sadness in the smile her mother returned to her. The cult members, distracted from their ritual, now focused their attention on the two objects their master wanted them to capture.

Ali was tackled from behind by one and as she struggled to free herself, a wolf pounced on her attacker… _Am I seeing things or is that wolf green?_ she wondered briefly before turning her attention back to her fight.

She was surprised to find, however, that her services might not be so necessary. The green wolf was now a rhinoceros charging at a group of the robed figures. A strange woman with orange skin and red hair was throwing green energy at some of the cult members while dodging their return fire. A blue streak shot passed her and looking for the source she found a robot… or was he a human? Then across the battle she saw the black-uniformed man from the night before in a one-on-one fight with one of the cult members. "Alette pay attention!"

Alette looked up at her mother and then behind her to see a ball of fire coming her way. She deflected it easily and returned the fire with her own blasts of power, sending rocks and trees hurling into the cult members. Someone in the crowd began to plead for Trigon's help and he was soon followed by many others. "Help us, master!" was the cry heard all over the battlefield.

And then they were gone, all consumed by a giant wave of flames. Silence rang through the now almost empty area of the forest. Her mother landed beside her, and when Ali looked over to her, she expected to find a disappointed glare waiting for her. But her mother wasn't even looking at her. Raven's attention was on the four figures who had helped them fight off Trigon's people, all of whom were standing across from her and her mother. They were all staring at Raven, mouths slightly open.

"Raven?" The question came from the green man, who Ali assumed had been the green wolf that had saved her. His attention turned to Ali, who froze as he inspected her. "Little Raven?"

_Well_, Raven thought sarcastically, _this wasn't exactly what I had in mind._ She took a deep breath and answered. "Yes, Beastboy, it's me. This is my daughter, Alette." She looked over at her daughter who was giving her a questioning glare. "And I suppose everyone is going to want an explanation."

_Hold on_

_Hold on to yourself_

_For this is gonna hurt like hell_

_- Sarah McLachlan, Hold On_

* * *

A/N: First off, that book thing in the very, very beginning with Cyborg… that's supposed to be the book she gives him at the end of "Cyborg the Barbarian." I know I slipped in a somewhat clichéd pregnancy thing, but it's what my story needs. I think I've added enough of my own twists to it to make it my own pregnancy story and not _the_ pregnancy story. Do I make sense? Okay, the name Alette is not random… I actually chose it because of what it means… any guesses? So, you know what to do now. Thanks for reviewing! 

- Ashlyn


	4. Mama, You've Got a Daughter

Disclaimer: Three little words… they aren't mine.

A/N: I actually didn't think I'd get to post this. I've been out of town and school is still crappy, but I finished Chapter 3! It's a little shorter than I originally planned, but it gets the job done. Hopefully the next one will have a little more to it. I actually don't have a lot to say except once again THANK YOU TO ALL MY REVIEWERS! I don't know if I can say enough times how much your encouragement keeps me going. This story would be dead if it wasn't for you guys.

**Chapter 3: Mama, You Got a Daughter**

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos. Azarath Metrion Zinthos. Azarath Metrion… Damn it, why isn't this working!"

Alette's frustrated cry crushed the thin layer of her concentration and sent her falling through the air. She landed on her bed with a soft thud, black hair cascading over her pillow. Discouraged, she did not move from her defeated position and continued to stare up at the popcorn ceiling of her dorm room.

An hour ago she'd flown away from her mother in anger, leaving explanation to the wind. She had tried and failed several times since getting back to the dorm to meditate and achieve calm, rational thought. Instead memories intruded: nights she spent listening to Raven's soft sobs when she was supposed to be sleeping, the night before when she'd been mistaken for her mother, and the events of the past sixty minutes that had finally revealed her mother's elusive past.

Alette had heard of the Titans, and she'd seen them on the news almost every night since she'd arrived in Jump City. She had stood across from them tonight- Cyborg, Beastman, Starfire, and Nightwing- and felt their emotions upon seeing her mother. They felt shocked initially, and then the feelings of loss, anger, and the desire for an answer began to take over. A number was there too, flashing in each of their minds like the bulb of a camera.

Eighteen.

Her mother's nervous energy prompted Alette to draw a single conclusion, one that she knew was nothing but right. Two of her mother's many secrets were standing across from each other, and Raven was caught.

_I suppose everyone is going to want an explanation._

She remembered the sudden conflicting feelings of betrayal and guilt that had crept over her as she'd backed away from her mother. So long she'd wondered what had made her mother cry at night… and now she knew.

_"Why are you crying, Mommy?"_

_"For what I've lost, Alette."_

And though the idea had presented itself to Alette as she'd grown older, her suspicions were confirmed in light of the events of the night. She had been the person to steal her mother's past. Raven had been a Titan; she had left them eighteen years before, which conveniently happened to be the same number of years Alette had been alive.

_"Alette, don't walk away from me."_

_"I'm not stupid, mother. I know how to add. I see how long it's been since they've seen you. Maybe they need an explanation. As for me… well, just don't let me get in the way of things… again."_

She shamefully remembered her last words to Raven before flying off to the dorm. Her mother would not try to bother her, not until morning at least. Until then Alette would stay here, blaming herself for the miserable look her mother would sometimes wear, and at the same time realizing she was simply an innocent bystander of her mother's actions.

And there was another, more important matter distracting Alette from her meditation.

If her mother had been in Jump City before she fled to Gotham, then there was a very good chance that her father, too, was in the city. She had constructed a wall long ago around the topic of her father, but now that he might be within her reach, she wanted to extend her hand.

_"Mommy, where is my daddy?"_

Her energy now focused on something constructive, Alette moved from her bed to her desk and turned on her computer. Thanks to her Uncle Bruce hacking was second nature by now, and she was determined to leave no stone unturned.

There would be no more secrets.

* * *

Raven found comfort in the exotic and familiar smell of the herbal tea sitting in front of her. She sipped absently from her cup, carefully avoiding the eyes that watched her every move. Her nerves were reaching a breaking point in the silence, and if Starfire did not join them in the next few minutes, she was sure nothing in the living room would be safe from the wrath of her uncontrolled powers.

Just as Raven was beginning to construct an escape plan, Starfire joined them announcing that Tamara, her daughter… _his_ daughter, Raven had to remind herself… was safely tucked into bed for the night. The red-haired alien made herself comfortable on the arm of Nightwing's chair, and Raven found herself restraining her jealousy. She could not bring herself to look at the couple.

"Rae?"

Raven was reintroduced to the matter at hand by the sound of her old nickname. How annoying she'd found it back then… how nice it was to hear it again.

"Yes, Cyborg?"

"Where have you been?"

"Gotham."

Her answers were clipped and restrained, not like the information she had provided Nightwing earlier in the night. She hoped it would be possible to have this conversation without mentioning Alette.

"That girl that was with you… she's really your daughter?"

Damn inquisitive little green changeling…

"Yes."

"Is she the reason why you…"

"Yes."

"Damn," Cyborg said, releasing a low whistle.

"Friend Raven," Starfire piped up, "when shall we meet the father of your child? I am sure he will be a glorious new friend!"

_Well_, Raven thought sarcastically, _some people never change_. Starfire's naivety had always served as a source of annoyance for Raven. As a teenager new to the planet it was excusable, as a grown adult it was not.

"Never," Raven said through gritted teeth.

She saw the exchange of uncomfortable glances between three of the Titans. One masked pair remained trained on her, though she did not meet his stare.

"Raven," Beastman started carefully, "you weren't… I mean nothing…" He floundered in his discomfort.

"You weren't… hurt… were you, Raven?" Cyborg's instinctual brotherly protection could be heard in his voice.

Raven had to hand it to her friends. They were trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps she'd been raped, and then having a baby at sixteen wouldn't be so bad. She couldn't possibly have been so irresponsible to get pregnant so young. Not their calm, stoic Raven. "No, Cyborg."

"Then who is the father?"

"That is none of your business, Nightwing."

She was looking at him from across the room. Was he trying to rat himself out? Did he want to cause mass chaos and confusion? _Don't do anything stupid, Robin._

For his part, Nightwing was frustrated with Raven. She was protecting him again. She was taking the consequences of their careless teenage actions and placing them in her shoulders, leaving nothing for him to carry. He was tired of being rescued in order to save a reputation he hardly cared about. It was time he let Raven know exactly how much he cared for her.

"If you don't tell them, I will, Raven. They deserve to know."

His team turned to look at him, their eyes wide with surprise. "Dude, you knew!"

"And you didn't tell us?"

"I didn't know the entire time. I found out tonight."

"When? We've all been with her since we found her."

"I was with her when you called me to the fire. She had something to tell me…" He was talking to the team, but Nightwing never stopped looking into Raven's eyes. He was asking her to trust him, asking for her to realize that sooner or later the truth would come out and he'd rather their friends hear it from them.

"Please, Nightwing…" she offered a weak final plea.

"I'm the father of Raven's daughter."

The collective intake of breath at the declaration seemed to take all the oxygen out of the air, and Raven began to breathe heavily, trying to calm her nerves. Then she noticed they were all looking at her as if seeking conformation.

"It's true," she admitted, looking at the floor.

"You're serious?" Cyborg asked, looking from Raven to Nightwing. "You two were… together… and never bothered to tell anyone about it?"

"We were going to… eventually," Raven offered. "But then… well, you know how the story goes from there."

"How can this be?"

The attention of the room was now on Starfire who still sat on the arm of the chair Nightwing had abandoned for his confession. Her bottle green eyes were wide, and Raven could see tears as they formed in the corner of her lids. A wave of sympathy for the alien washed over Raven as she felt Starfire's immense pain.

"Nightwing," she moved closer to her husband, taking him by the shoulders. "You cannot be both the father of Tamara and the father of Raven's daughter. It is not possible."

"Star, I'm sorry," he offered, looking guiltily into her innocent eyes. "It's very possible and it is the truth."

"I think I musk seek solitude now."

Starfire walked out of the living room and into an adjacent hallway, her footsteps fading as she walked farther away. Nightwing moved to follow her, but a hand on his shoulder stopped his progression. "I'll handle this," Raven said, walking past him and following the trail that Starfire had just taken.

Raven found Starfire gazing out at the last hours of darkness that hung over the city. Standing beside her she watched their obscure reflections in the floor-to-ceiling windows carefully. Starfire was still much taller than her, and really Raven could find little that was different about her former teammate. She was still the same pretty alien that had made guys forget what they were doing when she walked into the room.

Raven remembered asking Robin once what he'd thought of Starfire. And in the silence his words came back to her as clearly as they had been the day that he'd said them. "Raven, Starfire is my friend and I love her, but the way a brother loves a sister. I don't want to see her hurt and I feel the need to protect her from some of the harsher realities of Earth. But she's not you. With you I can be exactly who I am and not have to worry about exposing a secret that you can't handle. Starfire's too gentle, too naïve, and she and I would never be able to truly understand each other."

Now Raven found strength in his words, and she broke the growing silence between herself and Starfire. "We were sixteen, Starfire. It was before the two of you got together, I promise."

"But you knew I liked Robin."

Raven couldn't help but chuckle slightly. "Starfire, everyone knew you liked him. I wasn't doing it to hurt you. You were my friend and I would never do something like that just so I could rub it in your face."

"I've always thought he might be keeping something from me," Starfire said. She continued to look out to the skyline of the city. To Raven, Starfire looked utterly depressed, an emotion that was normally observed for the dark empath, not the bubbly alien.

"He didn't know until I told him tonight."

"I believe you. I know that he wouldn't abandon a child that he knew belonged to him." She turned to Raven for the first time in the conversation, and Raven looked up to meet Starfire's eyes. "But he never told me anything about you and him."

"I suppose that is because he's spent all this time trying to forget me."

"He never really loved me."

Raven was caught off guard by Starfire's declaration. Perhaps she wasn't as daft as Raven perceived her to be. "What do you mean, Star?"

"We've been married for ten years and not once has he looked at me the way he looked at you just now. Our marriage has always seemed different from that of Cyborg and Bumblebee… It was merely an extension of our friendship. He is kind to me, and he dotes on Tamara… but… Raven, he does not love me."

"I did not come here to break up a marriage, Starfire. I wanted this to happen for Robin. I wanted him to be happy. No one was ever supposed to find out about my daughter."

"Raven, for _my_ daughter's sake, I hope that is true." Starfire walked away, never looking back at Raven. Sighing, Raven turned back to the window and watched as the pink sky announced daybreak in Jump City.

"Do you have a place to stay?"

She turned slightly to face Nightwing who was standing behind her. He walked over to where she stood and together they continued to stare out at the city. "I'll find a hotel," she told him.

"Why don't you just stay in the Tower? No one's ever here anymore, so it's not like you'd be bothered."

"I think I've caused enough trouble. Probably best if I distance myself from the Titans again."

"That's going to be hard seeing as how we're fighting the same enemy?"

Raven quirked an inquisitive eyebrow and turned to look at Nightwing, her shoulder and hip resting against the glass. "Since when?"

"Since we just decided that your cult buddies are a threat to our city and they must be stopped."

"You don't know what you're getting the team into, Nightwing."

"It was a unanimous decision."

"Except for Starfire, who was not present for the vote."

"I'm sure she won't object to protecting the city. It's her job."

"No. What she'll object to is protecting me."

"Raven…"

Raven looked into his eyes, knowing that she could not continue to argue with him. As important as this little twist in her life was, she had to remember what had brought her to Jump City in the first place. He was right. She and Alette couldn't do this on their own, and she did need a place to stay… "Alright Boy Wonder," he responded to his old nickname with a smile, "I'll stay here, but only on one condition."

"And what is that?"

Raven could have asked for anything and he would have given it to her, she knew that. And the almost kiss they had shared earlier that night still lingered on her lips, but her eyes followed the dark hallway into which Starfire had disappeared. "You should go to Starfire," she said dejectedly.

He did not miss the loss in her voice, but he knew she was right. "Okay," he agreed. Before he left, he took her face in his hands and drew her close placing a kiss on top of her head, something he used to do all the time. She lingered in his grasp for a minute that could have lasted a lifetime and then pulled away. She offered him one last smile then turned back in the direction of the main room.

Raven crossed the large open area as if dodging bullets, but what she was really trying to avoid were her two friends who had found GameStation to be a satisfying outlet for the shock they'd experienced that night. She was almost to the entryway that led to the hall with her room when Beastman called to her.

"Raven, wait!"

She turned around slowly to face Beastman and Cyborg. "Listen guys, I'm really tired. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"When can we meet her?"

"What?"

"Your daughter… she's got to be inducted at some point… she can't avoid it. She's part of the family."

Raven smiled and released a breath of relief. Though she knew that Nightwing had to have talked to them in her absence, she should have known that her friends would not shun her simply because she'd made a mistake in leaving them. And certainly they would not shun Alette, for she had done nothing wrong. "Maybe someday soon, Cyborg. She's got a lot to deal with right now. But I'll let her know you're interested in meeting her. I'll talk to you guys later, okay?" She turned around and continued down the hall, laughing as she heard Beastman call after her, "You better believe it. We have a lot of catching up to do."

As the morning sun slipped in past her curtains, Raven crawled under the sheets of her old bed. Was she supposed to feel happy or sad now? Yes, she'd revealed her secret and confronted her friends and now she felt much freer with the burden gone. But the truth could not free Nightwing from his family, and she did not want to make him choose between one daughter and another. She could not allow him back in her life no matter how much she wanted to. Feeling that she could more easily assess her current situation with a clear head, Raven closed her eyes and fell asleep knowing one thing for sure. She was home again with the people she'd learned to love and had missed all these years. That was enough for her right now.

_Cause you have been drifting for so long_

_I know you don't want to come down_

_But somewhere below you there's people who love you_

_And they're waiting for you to come home_

_- Drifting, Sarah McLachlan_

* * *

A/N: It took forever for me to figure out what I wanted to say in that last paragraph! Sorry if it was a little rough to get through. Next chapter I'll go more in depth about the whole cult plot line now that most of the initial secret telling has been done. I hope everyone's planning on reviewing! Thanks in advance! 


	5. All Eyes on Me

Disclaimer: They aren't mine… crap…

A/N: Okay, first off… Sorry for taking almost two full weeks to update… I've been busy with school, which tends to drain my creativity reserve… The good news is that this chapter is the longest so far, I think. Secondly, as always, THANKS A BUNCH for the reviews! They are the fuel that keeps me going. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Have fun!

**Chapter 4: All Eyes on Me**

_See the devil on the doorstep now_

_My oh my_

_Telling everybody around _

_Just how to live their lives_

_- We Are, Ana_

Raven wrapped her jacket around her body as the breeze lifted her hair to brush across her cheek. She was leaning against a large oak tree outside the math building at Jump University waiting patiently for her daughter's calculus class to end. She stuffed her hands into the pockets of her jacket, protecting them from the September wind. Her fingers closed around a folded piece of paper. She pulled it out, smoothing the wrinkles, and read the message scribbled across it.

_Raven-_

_Everyone wants to meet your daughter. We're all having dinner at the Tower tonight, so there's no reason the two of you shouldn't join us. We'll expect to see you around 7._

_- Cyborg_

Raven did not want to go, but after eighteen years of disappointing them she couldn't very well let her friends down again. She thought it might be an awkward situation for her daughter, however. At this point she wasn't even sure if she would be able to convince Alette to come to dinner. Then there was the problem of her daughter sitting across the table from Nightwing, never knowing that she would be looking her father in the face. Or would she? Alette was more perceptive than Raven had ever been, and she was afraid that with one look at the masked hero Alette would know. Raven didn't want her to find out like that. She needed to be the one to tell Alette about Nightwing. The situation seemed hopeless. Discouraged, Raven stuffed the note back into her pocket and looked up as the first students began to creep out of the building.

Raven spotted Alette as she descended the building's stone steps. Twin pairs of violet eyes met, and Raven saw Alette roll her eyes in disbelief. _You try too hard _was the message her daughter sent to her. Without a second thought, Alette turned on her heel and walked away from her mother, and Raven followed her.

After about five minutes, Alette stopped abruptly and turned to face her mother. "You know everyone else just gets a care package from time to time. But not me. My mother feels the need to follow me to college, figure out my class schedule, and chase me around so she can explain things that don't need to be explained. I could have you arrested for stalking me… oh wait," Alette raised a finger in the air, feigning an 'ah ha' moment, "I forgot, you're old buddies with the local law enforcement. I guess they wouldn't really want to take a former teammate into custody."

"Alette, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just… you didn't need to know."

"Right. It's not at all important to know your own mother."

"I know you're upset but…"

"Upset?" Alette exclaimed, throwing her arms in the air in a show of frustration. A group of students walking by gave Alette a disapproving look then hurried off. She continued in a calmer, quieter voice. "I'm angry! You lied to me! You told me that you spent your childhood and teenage years alone before you had me! I wouldn't exactly call being a member of a crime fighting team a lonely life!"

"You'd be surprised," Raven whispered under her breath, but Alette caught the sadness in her mother's voice and her anger deflated.

"I just can't help but think that I…"

Though Alette could not say her thoughts aloud, her mother knew what she was thinking. Raven placed a comforting hand on her daughter's shoulder. "Alette, don't think for one minute that you did anything. I chose to leave, not you. If there's one completely innocent party in all of this, it's you."

"It's hard to believe that seeing as how I'm the reason you left."

"I left for my own reasons, none of which had to do, directly at least, with you." Raven paused. Seeing that her daughter was in a listening mood, she continued. "They want to meet you. They've invited us to dinner tonight."

"Dinner?" Alette said doubtfully, cocking an eyebrow questioningly. "Why do I have to come again?"

"Alette, you're the reason for the dinner."

"I'm not sure this is such a good idea."

"Neither am I."

As Alette contemplated her answer, she expanded her powers to gently brush across the surface of her mother's feelings. Normally it was understood between the two not to use their powers on each other, but Alette knew that she would not be attending this dinner for herself. The last thing she wanted was to interfere in a group she did not belong to. As she exposed herself to Raven's feelings, she found hope. Alette realized how much her mother wanted this chance. Dinner would be a chance to rebuild bridges that Raven had long since burned. She would not be the one to bury her mother's hope. Raven had made mistakes that had hurt Alette, but she'd also made sacrifices for the good of her daughter. "What time do we have to be there?"

Relief rushed over Raven's normally passive face. "I'll meet you around six forty-five near the library. We should be able to fly to the Tower without receiving much notice. Now," Raven took a motherly tone, "you better get moving. If I've examined your schedule correctly, you have an English class to get to." With a final soft smile for Alette, she turned around and walked away from her daughter, smirking as she heard her daughter's accusation from across the pathway.

"Stalker!"

* * *

Alette cursed her English teacher for holding the class. Now she only had half an hour to get ready, and she wanted to make a good impression. As she ran the pathways of the campus on her way to her dorm, a glimpse of a familiar red cloak halted her in her tracks as it disappeared into an alley. Temporarily forgetting her dinner plans, Alette followed the cloak into the darkness.

Cautiously, Alette peered into the alleyway. Before she even had the time to survey the small space, strong hands grabbed her shoulders and slammed her against the stone wall of the library. Her head bounced off of the rough surface, and warm, sticky blood began to seep down her neck. Her vision was temporarily distorted, but as it came back into focus she immediately recognized the figure that had her pinned.

"Hello James, I didn't think Trigon let his cronies out before sunset."

"My name is not James, it is Keahi. And I am not one of Trigon's _cronies_. I am his second in command." His grip tightened as his anger increased.

"You're an eighteen year old boy who decided one day that bringing about the end of the world would be fun. Trigon's using you to get what he wants, end of story."

The boy moved closer, his blonde hair slipping to cover one of his blue eyes. "After we take you and your mother, Trigon promised I could have you. You see, he really doesn't need you." His lips reached for hers, but she pulled away, using her powers to thrust him into the opposite wall.

"Stay away from me!" She raised her hand, chanting her magical phrase, but was cut off by his painful grip on her wrist. Her flesh burned and as he released her she saw the marks of her grandfather seared into her skin.

"It will not be long now, Alette. Your mother will succumb to Trigon and you…" His fist met her face and she stumbled backwards. "You will belong to me." He grabbed her chin and pulled her into an unwanted kiss as she struggled to free herself. Her teeth bit down hard on his bottom lip, and she grimaced as his blood entered her mouth.

"Bitch!" Keahi cried, pulling away from Alette and throwing her to the ground. He raised his fist, a ball of fire forming in his palm, but Alette quickly regained the upper hand as she swept her leg underneath his feet, tossing him to the ground.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos!" Black curls of power wrapped themselves around Keahi's neck and Alette stood on shaky legs, moving closer to him as she watched him flounder in his lack of oxygen. "It's too bad you decided to work for the bad guy, because now I'll have to kill you."

Keahi grinned and Alette watched in surprise as a fire-red hand ripped through her noose. He leaped up, tackling Alette. Her head again split open as it made contact with the concrete ground. He placed a hand on the inside of each of her wrists and as he spoke she felt a familiar burning sensation creep down her arms as Trigon's brands traveled across her body. "Yes Alette, killing is in your future. However, mine will not be the life you take." Alette was paralyzed by her own weakness and could do nothing to stop Keahi from entering her mind. First she saw a blood red sky… people frozen in time… "Your mother will eventually fall to Trigon, and then what, Alette? Will you kill your own mother?" A bloodied, broken Raven lay at her feet…

"No!" Waves of black power issued from every part of Alette's body, throwing Keahi off of her. She rose into the air, her body convulsing as all control was lost. Keahi watched her, a cruel smile spreading across his face. Her body beaten and exhausted, Alette slumped to the ground, unconscious. Keahi, satisfied that his work had been done, crouched by her body, taking her hand in his own. He took a knife from his belt and delicately carved a permanent reminder into her palm. "You, like your mother, are a slave to your fate," he warned before walking off into the growing darkness.

* * *

"You're nervous aren't you?"

"What? No. Why would I be?"

Dick Grayson was walking towards the faculty parking lot after finishing his last class of the day. One hand fished through his jacket pockets for his keys while the other one supported the cell phone perched by his ear. Cyborg's was the voice on the other side of the phone.

"Because," Cyborg started, "Raven is coming to dinner tonight with your daughter. A daughter that, might I add, doesn't know who you are. Raven's nervous. She hasn't spoken to anyone all day."

"I trust Raven. If she thinks it's a good idea to…"

Dick stopped speaking as he came across a gruesome sight. His eyes had fallen upon a huddled, unmoving body lying in the shadows of a nearby alley. He felt his stomach clench, and before he could get to the girl, he knew who it was. He crouched next to Alette, surveying her battered body. Blood stained the concrete under her head, and burn marks scorched her arms. Her chest was rising and falling in uneven intervals.

"Hey man. Earth to Richard? Hello?"

"Cyborg, I need you to prepare a bed in the infirmary. And tell Raven to wait at the Tower, not to come looking for Alette on campus."

"What's going on?" Cyborg sounded alarmed.

"I'll fill you in when I get to the tower. Just make sure everything's ready." Dick closed his phone before Cyborg could ask any more questions. Carefully he lifted Alette's limp body into his arms. He slipped on the mask that was forever with him and took a grappling hook out of his bag. As he took to the skies he clung desperately to his daughter.

"Hold on, Alette. Please hold on."

* * *

_A sulfurous smell floated through her nostrils and clouds of smoke stung her eyes and burned her throat. She stumbled through the streets of a decrepit Jump City, avoiding the stone-encased eyes of the people she passed. Though the fire and lava around every corner warmed her body, she shivered and wrapped her arms around her for comfort._

_"Hello?" she called into the abandoned city. Her voice was harsh from the exposure to the smoke. "Is anyone there?"_

_"Alette!"_

_"Mom?" Alette ran towards the sound of her mother's voice. She turned corners, passed red-eyed crows, and made her way to the shores of the lava pool that held the remains of the fallen Titan Tower._

_"Here Alette. I'm here." A large, horned beast rose from the ground, towering over her. His four red slits glared down at Alette._

_"Hello, child. Are you looking for someone?"_

_"What have you done with her?" Alette's fists clenched in anger and black sparks shot from them like electricity._

_"Nothing that she did not want. It is too late to save her." A demonic grin graced Trigon's lips._

_"You'll pay for this!" Alette's eyes became a blinding white as she cried "Azarath Metrion Zinthos!" Her power flowed freely from her body. Trigon's screams satisfied Alette, but suddenly they were not his screams. Her mother was screaming…_

_Alette watched in horror as the massive Trigon dissolved into her mother's frail form. Raven writhed in pain as she continued to be encased by her daughter's powers._

_"No…" Alette released her mother from her grasp and ran to her as she fell to the ground. She slid to the ground next to Raven, listening for a breath, watching for a movement…_

_But her mother was still._

_"What have I done?" Alette felt tears form in her eyes and slip down her cheeks. _

_"Only what fate has in store for you, child."_

_Alette shuddered as the eerie voice encircled her. She looked down at her mother's limp form, hoping to see some movement. "It's not true," she whispered. She fell on top of her mother's still chest, tears falling freely one after another._

_"After I take your mother, you will be the only one standing between me and the destruction of human kind. If you are going to stop me, you will have to sacrifice your mother to do so."_

_"No! I won't!"_

_"Then you sentence your world to death."_

* * *

Raven watched helplessly as Alette tossed uncontrollably in her bed, lost in a world Raven could not reach. Her hand clung desperately to her daughter's clammy one, gently stroking her thumb up and down the back of Alette's hand. Raven's other hand was intertwined with Nightwing's. He sat next to her, offering his silent support and comfort and equally as worried about the girl in the bed.

Cyborg watched on in silence, monitoring Alette, but also observing his two friends. How he missed it when they were younger, he would never know, but he saw it clearly now as they watched their daughter. Raven and Nightwing loved each other, and he was sorry things had not worked out better for them. A beeping from one of the machines drew his attention and he shook his head in disappointment at what he saw.

"Her brainwaves are extremely erratic. I'm not sure how much long she can take this before her body starts to give out."

Cyborg's warning fell on deaf ears. Raven remained focused on her daughter's bruised face. Every attempt she had made to get inside Alette's mind had failed. Whatever was going on in Alette's head, she was determined to keep Raven out of it.

"Damnit, Ali," Raven whispered. "Wake up. Get out of there. It's only a nightmare…"

Alette began to mumble as tears slipped from underneath her closed eyelids. "Mom… no… no… I didn't mean to… I won't!" Seconds later, amethyst eyes flew open, frantically searching for one person.

"Mom!" she cried, sounding relieved. Though her body protested, Alette pulled herself up from the bed and wrapped her arms around Raven's neck. She buried her face into her mother's warm flesh as tears fell from her eyes. She tried to explain, but all she managed to get out was a string of incoherent phrases. "Awful… it was… you were… I…"

Raven comforted her daughter, running her hand up and down her back. "You're safe, Alette. It was just a nightmare."

Alette gradually settled down, collecting her emotions. She looked around the hospital-like room, trying to regain her bearings. "Where am I?" she asked, lying back down on the bed.

"The Tower. Cyborg has been taking care of you."

Alette glanced at the mechanical man who stood next to her bed, adjusting her IV bag. She smiled up at him. "Thank you."

"No problem, kid. Now your mother," _and your father too,_ Cyborg thought before continuing, "used to have a hard time obeying these orders, but I trust that you're bright enough to understand. You've lost a significant amount of blood and you have a concussion. I have to insist on bed rest for the next few days."

Alette quirked an eyebrow. "How about a compromise? I'll stay here over night, but only if you let me go to classes tomorrow. I can't afford to miss my first week."

"It's not safe for you there, Alette." Raven said, stroking the white bandage wrapped around her daughter's head. "Look at what's happened to you. You need to stay here."

"You can't keep me safe forever, Mom." Alette's eyes were determined.

Raven turned to Cyborg and Nightwing. "Can you give my daughter and me some time?"

Cyborg and Nightwing glanced at each other and nodded. They were not going to get in Raven's way, not when she sounded like that. Cyborg made some final adjustments to Alette's equipment as Nightwing gave Raven's hand one last squeeze. Then the two left them alone, heading off to the main room to update the others on Alette's condition.

For a few minutes all that could be heard in the room was the even breathing of two resolute women as they locked eyes with one another. "Do you think locking me up in Titans' Tower is going to keep me safe forever?" Alette's piercing stare saw straight through her mother in a way eerily similar to how Nightwing could penetrate her. Raven stood up and began to pace.

"You were attacked in the middle of the day. The sun hadn't even set! Campus isn't protected, and your safety can't be guaranteed there."

"Mom, I can't stop living because of these people. That's what they want. Hiding will only increase their power. And how long will it be before they find me here? It's not like they don't know who you are…"

Raven moved swiftly to her daughter's side, taking her hand and turning the bandaged palm to face Alette. Red stains crept through the white gauze, sketching out Trigon's ancient symbol. "Do you see this, Alette? You could have died tonight! You are acting as if this is some kind of game, but it is not!"

"I know exactly what this is!" Alette ripped her hand from her mother's grip. "I know what's at stake. You are! They won't kill me until they have you. Curse you for choosing to procreate with a human because all you managed to do was make it easier for Trigon to get to you. I'm not powerful enough for Trigon to use me as anything other than a pawn, and I can't do anything to save you!" Alette paused to catch her breath. Raven was sitting again, one arm resting on the bed next to Alette and the other supporting her head. Alette continued. "Keahi told me today that it is my destiny to kill you." Alette's tone was completely different. She sounded defeated, and she closed her eyes as images of her mother's dead body flooded her mind.

"He did this to you?"

Alette nodded. "Trigon must be getting ready to do whatever it is he's planning. Keahi usually doesn't come out like the others do."

"Listen to me, Alette," Raven took her daughter's shoulders. "I won't tell you that everything is alright. Trigon is getting more ambitious and I can feel him inside me more and more everyday. If it comes to the point where I am the one holding you back, then I do not want you to hesitate. Trigon must be defeated, no matter what the costs." She smiled reassuringly at Alette, wiping a stray tear from her cheek. "But let's finish this conversation some other time. You're here now, and you're safe."

Alette looked out of the window at the city lights that glowed in the darkness. She could just make out the Jump University campus. "How did I get here?" she wondered aloud.

"Nightwing found you and brought you to the Tower."

"He spends his free time hanging around colleges, then?"

"He has friends there."

"So what's up with you and him, anyway?" Alette smirked at her mother when she noticed the blush creeping across Raven's face.

"What?"

"I was trained in the art of observation," Alette said, raising an eyebrow. "You were holding his hand."

"He was my best friend. He was just…"

Raven was cut off by a soft knock. Cyborg slid the door open. "Can I come in?"

"Sure." Raven stood up as he entered the room. "What is it?"

"Well, we were all wondering if you were feeling up to dinner." He looked at Alette, offering her a smile.

"You're the doctor," Alette said, shrugging. "What's the verdict? Can I eat solid foods yet?"

Cyborg chuckled as he moved to unhook Alette from the machines she no longer needed. He turned to Raven saying "It's nice to see she has your sarcasm."

With help from her mother and Cyborg, Alette managed to make it to the large main room that was the hub of life of the Tower. Conversations ceased, and Alette felt herself shrink under the sudden attention. Silence was the only sound in the room as she made her way to the table.

"Dinner time!" Cyborg proclaimed.

As food was passed from person to person, Raven whispered introductions into Alette's ear. "The woman next to Cyborg is Bumblebee, his wife. Next to her is Starfire, then Nightwing, her husband. The little girl is their daughter Tamara." Alette thought she heard forced calm in her mother's voice as she spoke of the family, but she chose to ignore it. "The green man you're sitting next to is Beast…" Beastman interrupted Raven as she finished her introductions.

"Beastman, the amazing green changeling. Pleasure to meet you." He stuck out his hand.

Alette chuckled as she shook his hand. "Charmed."

"Actually, he only thinks his name is Beastman," Nightwing observed. "It just doesn't seem to fit him, though."

"Yeah, we all still call him Beastboy. It's not like he's grown up at all," Cyborg added.

"Hey!" Beastboy cried in indignation.

Alette laughed at the antics of her mother's old friends. They seemed to be very nice people, and once again Alette felt a feeling of sadness wash over her as she thought of what her mother had to give up in order to raise her.

"Dad, will you help me cut my steak?"

Alette's attention focused back on the family sitting across from her. As she watched Nightwing carefully cut his daughter's meat, she was consumed by an uncontrollable yearning and jealousy. This girl had the one thing that Alette could never have… a father. How unfair the world could be sometimes to allow some girls the chance to lead a normal, happy life while forcing some to make do with only half a family. Nightwing suddenly looked up, noticing her stare. The pair locked eyes for a second and Alette was assaulted by a sudden rush of images. A baby's cry, her mother's smile, a comforting voice saying _I love you_… all accompanied by a strong feeling of loss.

Alette reeled under the emotion, dropping her fork and swaying in her seat.

"Alette!"

Her mother's hands were around her shoulders, steadying her. All of the eyes at the table were on the pair. Raven looked around at them all. "I think she needs to rest." She helped Alette out of her chair, but Alette found that she could barely stand on her own two legs.

Nightwing rushed to her side, carefully cradling her in his arms. "I'll carry her," he stated to Raven, looking down at her surprised face. Raven nodded, said good-night to everyone, and then disappeared with Nightwing down the hall.

Alette was embarrassed to have the stranger carrying her, yet his embrace made her feel safe. She relaxed in his arms as he and Raven walked down the hall in silence. Raven stopped by her door, but Nightwing kept walking.

"Where are you going?"

"She can sleep in my old room. There's no need for both of you to share a bed, we have plenty."

"I think I should stay near, just in case."

"Raven, my room is the next one down. You'll be close enough."

Raven rolled her eyes at Nightwing's stubborn ways. She followed him down the hall to his room, where he gently laid Alette down on the bed.

"Feel better," he said.

"Thank you," Alette responded. With a final look at Raven, Nightwing left the mother and daughter alone.

"I'm sorry I ruined dinner," Alette said as she slid under the white covers.

Raven bent over her daughter, smoothing her black hair away from her face. "No worries. You need to sleep. There's always tomorrow." She placed a kiss on Alette's forehead. "Good night. I'm in the room down the hall if you need me."

Alette watched her mother slide the door close and sat up in the foreign bed. She wasn't about to go to sleep, her latest nightmare was too fresh in her memory. She needed to distract herself first. Carefully, she managed to stand up and move to the bookshelf on the other side of the room. As she reached for a book on the topmost shelf, her arm hit a box and it and its contents came showering down on her. She bent down to pick up her mess, and as she was collecting the fallen debris she noticed that the box had held letters, all written in the same familiar script.

Alette knew that it was inappropriate to snoop into other people's belongings, but she found herself being drawn to the papers with her mother's handwriting on them. _Dear Robin_ they all began. And they all ended with _Love always, Raven_.

Love letters from her mother to this person Robin. But hadn't Nightwing said that this had been his room? Who was this Robin? Whoever he was, Alette had a strange feeling that he must be the answer to the only question that ever mattered.

_Mommy, who is my daddy?_

_How stupid could I be?_

_A simpleton could see…_

_- Stupid, Sarah McLachlan_

* * *

A/N: Well, I hope it was worth the wait… I wouldn't be happy if I ended up disappointing you guys… On another note, you know what I was thinking? If Starfire is an alien and Robin is human, that means they're different species, right? Now correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't biology say that two members of different species can't procreate? If they can, you get a sterile product… like a mule… Anyway, that's about the point to which my brain has degraded after two hard weeks of school sucking me dry… And it's not like I can take the child out of the story, she's kind of important… Sorry for the rambling… Don't forget to review! Thanks!

Ashlyn


	6. All You Wanted

Disclaimer: Still dreaming… they aren't mine.

A/N: Finally! Again, I'm sorry for the great big delay. Spring break was so much fun though. No matter what anyone else thinks, Disney World is great! It was also really good for me as a writer. The relaxation got rid of my mini block. As I will say until my dying day (a rhyme!), REVIEWERS YOU ALL ARE AWESOME! Thanks for your support! Okay, enough waiting… here's the next chapter!

**Chapter 5: All You Wanted**

_She wants to go home_

_But nobody's home_

_- Nobody's Home, Avril Lavigne_

The pink color of dawn crept down the hallway, casting a long shadow of the girl currently haunting the area outside her mother's room. Alette hovered in front of Raven's door, pacing back and forth as she considered the consequences of what she was about to do. She clung to the letter in her hand, one of the many that she had read, reread, and analyzed as best she could during her two day confinement in the Tower. She had attempted to approach the situation as an unbiased detective, but as the evidence became more and more convincing, she became more attached to the idea that this person, Robin, was her father. A childlike hope had consumed her. The biggest mystery of her life might be solved in these next few moments. Gathering her resolve, she raised a hand to knock on the door.

"She's not in there."

Alette jumped and turned to face the intruder, stuffing the letter into her back pocket. Nightwing was at the end of the hall looking very normal in his jeans and T-shirt. Yet his mask remained in place, hiding his eyes from the world. "Hi," Alette offered in greeting.

"I didn't mean to scare you," he said, apologizing.

"No, it's just… well, no one's really been in the Tower since I got here. I didn't expect anyone else to be here, especially this early." Raven and Alette had been by themselves for most of the two days that Alette had spent recovering from her attack. Cyborg came every day to check on her wounds and Beast Boy had come the night before to have dinner with them. Nightwing she had not seen until now, and she had yet to even speak with the orange alien, Starfire. "Do you know where she is?" Alette asked, gesturing to her mother's door.

"Main room."

"Thanks," Alette said. She brushed by Nightwing as the two took opposite paths, Alette towards the main room and Nightwing away from it. As her shoulder made gentle contact with his arm, she caught a brief fragment of his feelings and for the first time remembered her encounter with him at dinner her first night in the Tower. She found it strange that she could so easily read his emotions when his face remained a passive blank slate. A thought struck Alette, and on an impulse she stopped walking away and called to Nightwing as he turned the corner at the end of the hallway.

"You and my mom… you were friends, right?"

Nightwing turned around to face Alette, leaning against the wall for support. The film over his eyes slanted as he considered his answer. "I like to think so. Raven and I had a lot in common and she trusted me with things she never told the others."

"Was she…" Alette's eyes traveled over her surroundings, settling directly on Nightwing's masked ones. "Was she happy here?"

Nightwing smirked. "Raven liked to make us all think that being a Titan was a nuisance and a waste of her time. She pretended to be distant, but I think she had the most invested in the group. We were a family, the first she'd ever had. She loved it here… We were pretty devastated when she left. I'm sure it wasn't an easy decision."

Alette let a defeated sigh escape her lips and dropped her head as she fought the pressure of tears against her eyes. Her mother had been happy with the Titans and with Robin… and without her. Alette's brain told her she was acting like an idiot. A child did not make the decision to be created. Yet her heart ached whenever Alette added up all the things Raven gave up just so she could raise her.

Nightwing watched as Alette retreated into a world of her own, the pensive features of her face making her look even more like Raven. He knew what had led to this impromptu conversation. He and Raven had just been talking about Alette's attempts to blame herself for her mother's decision to leave the life she loved. The desire to comfort her consumed him and he crossed the length of the hallway, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

Alette looked in surprise first at the strong hand and then into Nightwing's face. His touch was oddly soothing, and she forgot that the man standing across from her was a practical stranger. She disregarded the awkwardness of the moment in order to concentrate on what he had to say.

"Maybe what I should have said was that Raven was _content_ here. I've never seen her more happy than when she talks about you. You may think that you ruined her life, but I think what you did was make it better than it ever was before. She's very proud of you, Alette." He gave her shoulder a soft squeeze, and Alette felt warm waves of compassion flow from his psyche. Then, as if nothing had happened, he turned and retraced his steps down the hallway.

"Hey Nightwing!" Alette called to his retreating back. He stopped, but did not turn to face her. "Thanks."

He turned only slightly so that Alette could see his profile, smiling and nodding in acknowledgement. Then he walked around the corner and out of sight, leaving her alone. The letter felt heavy in Alette's pocket, and with a renewed confidence she set off to find her mother.

Alette found Raven sitting on the circular couch of the main room, quietly sipping her tea as she watched the sun rise over the water. For a moment, Alette remained in the shadows, observing her mother. Raven was a different person in these new surroundings. There was something about this place and these people that changed her mother. Normally she let her violet hair cascade down her back, the tips brushing across her shoulder blades. Now, however, Raven kept her hair swept back in a ponytail, only allowing the few short pieces in front to remain free. She was tense and on edge all the time as if she was trying desperately to keep something hidden. Alette pulled the letter out of her pocket. The time for secret keeping was over.

"Good morning, Ali," Raven said as Alette approached the couch. Her eyes never wavered from the view of the sunrise.

"Morning," Alette reciprocated, sitting down next to her mother.

"You're up early," Raven said, glancing in Alette's direction.

"I couldn't sleep," she answered honestly.

Silence permeated the air between them. Alette clutched the letter in her hand and with a final, calming breath she spoke. "So I found something interesting the other night."

Raven arched an eyebrow. "Are you going to elaborate?" she asked as she watched Alette take a sip of her tea.

Alette put the cup down and handed the letter to her mother. She watched as Raven's eyes widened in shock as she read and recognized the writing. "Where… where did you get this?" Alette was not accustomed to hearing her mother sounding so vulnerable.

"There's a whole box of them. They're in Nightwing's room."

"Alette!"

Alette recognized the motherly scorn in Raven's voice. "I wasn't _looking_ for them. They fell on me. I recognized your handwriting and that's when curiosity set in." Alette paused, studying her mother's face. "So… this guy, Robin… is he…?"

"Alette, stop!"

Alette was cut off by her mother's voice and the emotion in it was enough to stun her into silence. Raven placed the letter on the table beside the forgotten cup of tea. She closed her eyes and Alette heard her mutter three calming words before continuing. "I don't want you to ask this question." Her confession was made in a defeated voice, and Alette saw for the first time what her mother looked like with no defenses up.

Alette attempted to explain herself to her mother. "I guess… I just found these letters and… this place," her arms gestured to the Tower and out toward Jump City. However Alette's real reason had nothing to do with the city and everything to do with herself. "I've been thinking about him a lot lately."

"Have you ever considered the idea that I'm not telling you about him for a reason?"

Alette released a sad chuckle. "Mom, I'm eighteen. This isn't the four year old you used to trick by evading the question with a 'He is a good man' or a 'He loves you' response. I can handle the truth, no matter how bad it might be. Plus, you're kind of on the secret revealing road now. Your clandestine past as a superhero, while interesting, really doesn't matter. It's in the past. But if I could see him… just once…" Alette stumbled as her emotions, usually so controlled, got the best of her. "Mom, it's too obvious to overlook. You were in love with Robin up until about nine months before I was born, which was the same time you left the Titans. Is he my father?"

"Alright, Alette," Raven started, "You want the truth?" Alette found her mother's calm voice unnerving. "I loved Robin with all my heart. He was my best friend and he taught me so much. He changed my life." Raven rested a hand on Alette's shoulder, much liked Nightwing had done earlier. "But he's gone, Alette. He doesn't exist anymore."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you won't be able to find him, no matter how hard you look. I left, and Robin changed because of it. Now we… we can't be in his life anymore."

"Mom please," Alette begged, "tell me where I can find him. I just want to see him once."

Raven shook her head, resolute in her decision. "He has moved on, as did I. I won't have you getting your heart broken when you see him with a family that isn't yours."

Alette stood up as the silence and solitude of Nightwing's room beckoned. A tear slipped down her cheek and as she brushed it away she looked down at Raven. "Thanks for telling me, Mom," she said through a choked sob. "I… I'll be in my room, ok?" She stepped quickly away from the couch, practically running for the seclusion her borrowed room would offer. Raven had played a trick on her; she had revealed her father's identity, but not his whereabouts. Alette found herself wishing that she had never asked about Robin.

In her distress, Alette failed to notice Raven's own sadness. She had told her daughter the absolute truth while at the same time facing it for the first time. In a part of her mind where she rarely wandered, Raven had clung to the hope that somehow one day she and Robin would be together again. Being at the Tower and seeing Nightwing with Starfire had been a metaphorical equivalent to being awakened by a blast of cold water. The sun was now shining fully into the main room, but it skipped over Raven, leaving her alone in the darkness.

* * *

"Something on your mind, kid?"

Cyborg paused in his unwrapping of Alette's head wound to look down at the girl. She had not spoken a word since he'd come to check up on her recovery, and though she was not the most talkative person in the world, she usually managed to carry light conversations with her caretaker. His question seemed to jolt Alette out of some sort of trance, and she looked up at him apologetically.

"What makes you think that?"

Cyborg smirked. Having received her attention he went back to removing the white gauze from Alette's head as he spoke. "You're not talking, you're looking off into space, and you're eyes are a lovely shade of red which probably means you've been crying. Didn't your mom tell you, I'm an expert at reading people?"

Alette offered him a weak smile. She'd spent all morning locked in her room cycling through periods of sorrow in which she cried nonstop and fits of anger during which she'd managed to topple the bookshelf and break the light bulbs of every lamp in the room. She knew the depression was probably more dramatic than necessary, but she had decided to allow herself one day of no control. Tomorrow she'd be the Alette who did not care who her father was and be strong without that piece of information. Today she'd be the kid who grew up without a father because he had his own family that did not include her and her mother.

"You can talk to me, Alette. I know that we don't… What happened to the gashes in your head!" Cyborg's tender monologue was cut short by his discovery of a wound-free Alette. The finding seemed to lighten Alette's mood a little. She chuckled slightly and moved to feel around her head.

As she made her own examination, she explained to Cyborg. "I've been working on them since I first got here. My healing powers aren't nearly as strong as my mother's, so it takes me longer. I appreciate all the care I've gotten from you, because if I had been left to my own devices I might have been infected and that would have made everything so much worse."

"Right," Cyborg said, tossing aside the fresh gauze he'd prepared for Alette's head. "So what about your hand?" He motioned to Alette's still bandaged right palm.

"Sometimes a scar can be the motivation behind everything you do," Alette answered cryptically as she unwrapped her hand to reveal a still-healing wound. "If I had healed it there would be no scar."

Cyborg nodded in understanding, setting to work cleaning and dressing the wound. As he worked, he returned to the original topic of conversation. "Listen, Alette. I know we don't know each other very well, but I want you to know that you can trust me. You don't ever have to feel alone."

Alette considered his words for a moment. Perhaps it would be good to talk about everything with someone who wasn't emotionally involved, someone who wasn't her mother. "My mom told me about Robin today."

Cyborg's hand paused in mid air and he looked up at Alette briefly before returning to cleaning the cuts. "What exactly did she tell you?"

"That he is my father."

"Anything else?"

Alette bit her lip. She continued reluctantly, ordering herself to remain calm and not get upset. "She told me she wouldn't tell me where I could find him because he's moved on and wouldn't want to see me."

"But you still want to see him," Cyborg concluded as he began to put fresh bandages on Alette's hand.

Alette sighed. "She knows the guy a lot better than me, so I should listen to her. But yeah, it would be nice to meet him."

Cyborg finished bandaging the cuts and sat down next to Alette on the infirmary bed. "Listen, Ali, your mom's only trying to do what's best for you."

"I know."

Cyborg looked around the room for a minute, trying to think of something to distract Alette. "I know! We never did get to have that dinner the other night. Let's do it tonight!"

Alette shook her head in disagreement. "No, Cyborg. I wouldn't want to impose."

"Impose? Alette, even though we're a team the Titans hardly see each other anymore. It's been great having an excuse to be in the Tower. Trust me, you and your mom coming back to Jump City could be the best thing that's happened to us in a really long time." Cyborg smiled down at Alette as he stood up. "So how does seven sound?"

Alette sighed in mock defeat. "Alright, I guess I'll have to give in. Seven sounds great."

"Good. I'll go make sure everyone knows to be here."

Alette watched Cyborg leave the infirmary and after flexing her hand a couple of times to test the bandages, she left too. She did not return to the loneliness of her room, however. After about fifteen minutes of searching, she managed to find the gym. Careful not to rupture the still healing cuts in her hand, she began a rigorous work out on the hanging punching bag in the corner. If she was going to be angry, she might as well focus that energy into something productive.

* * *

The beeping and sputtering of the Game Station was enough to tune Beast Boy and Alette out from the conversations going on in the background. The changeling had challenged her to a pre-dinner face off in order to avenge his ten consecutive defeats from the night before. Tonight, though, Alette's heart was not in the game. She had managed to crash her car in every race, giving Beast Boy an easy victory.

"Dude, is everything okay Ali?"

Alette cringed. How had she acquired such hatred for a simple phrase like 'Are you okay?' in so little time? She made a mental note to work on her stoicism before answering Beast Boy. "I just have a lot on my mind is all."

Beast Boy glanced at her, temporarily distracted from the video game. "Like what?"

Two solid hours of punching a bag and a hot shower afterward had convinced Alette that if she wasn't going to be allowed to meet Robin, she might as well find out as much about him as possible from unsuspecting sources. Her mother and Cyborg could not be counted on to be reliable informants, and she had a feeling that Nightwing would be on her mother's side as well. That left Beast Boy and Starfire, and seeing as how she had not even spoken a word to the alien, she was left with the green changeling sitting next to her. There was no time like the present to start her investigation. As they started another round of racing, Alette began to question Beast Boy.

"Hey Beast Boy?"

"Yeah?" He was distracted by the game, which meant he would be off guard.

"Did you know Robin?"

Beast Boy chuckled, his attention still on the cars whizzing by on the television screen. "Robin? Man, Nightwing hasn't used that name in years."

Alette froze. "What?" Her car again crashed. She held the controller tight in her hands.

"Oh, you didn't know," Beast Boy said as he turned to look at Alette. His eyes widened as he saw her pale face drained of the little color it usually had. Her purple eyes seemed like they might release sparks of electricity at any moment. "What's wrong?"

"Robin and Nightwing are the same person?" Alette questioned through gritted teeth.

"Uh, yeah," Beast Boy confirmed, feeling as though he might have said something he shouldn't have.

Thin lines of black energy traveled down the controller through the cable and ended at the console, which proceeded to explode in a puff of black smoke. Alette got up from the couch, muttering 'Sorry' to Beast Boy as she made her way to the back of the room where the others were preparing for dinner. She stopped short, looking at the two figures setting the table.

There they were. For the first time in her life, she was looking at both of her parents. She watched them carefully. They were moving in such a way that they were always as far away from each other as possible. Taking a moment to examine Nightwing not as some stranger, but as her father, Alette realized that her hair was his shade of jet black. He quirked his face into a smirk at something Cyborg had said and she recognized it as her own cocky grin.

The table began to shake, and Alette stumbled over _Azarath Metrion Zinthos_ as she tried to regain control over her emotions. Raven noticed her daughter's struggle and ran to her placing a comforting hand on her back. "Alette, is everything alright?"

Oh, how she hated that question.

"No, everything is not _alright_," Alette screamed, saying the last word as if were poison in her mouth. She was talking to her mother now, forgetting Beast Boy and his video games, Cyborg's dinner, her father's wife, his child, him. She cared about nothing at that point. "He's been right in front of me this entire time and you've acted like he lived on the other side of the world! All I asked of you was the truth, and you still lied to me! How could you?" Black waves of power drifted through the air as Alette flung her arms around in rage.

"Alette, I…" Raven grasped Alette's wrists stemming the uncontrolled energy with her own powers. "I didn't…"

"Want me to get hurt?" Alette finished, still screaming. "I appreciate the effort, but you're pretty lousy in that department. Next time you feel the urge to protect me, don't!"

Alette turned on her heels and stormed out of the room. She paused at the entrance to the hallway long enough to look across the room at Cyborg and say "I'm sorry I keep ruining your dinners."

The attention in the room turned to Beast Boy, who had been the last person to see Alette in a calm, rational state of mind. "Heh," he chuckled uneasily.

"What did you say to her," Raven growled, already knowing his answer.

"Just that," Beast Boy gulped, "that Robin and Nightwing are the same people."

"I thought so," Raven said, hanging her head in defeat. She looked around the room at the stunned faces of her former teammates, eyes lingering on Nightwing's. "I think Alette and I have overstayed our welcome. If she's not already gone, she will be by morning… as will I." Before anyone could stop her, Raven enveloped herself in blackness and disappeared from the room.

* * *

Rain drops clung to Raven's face, blending in with her tears. Her purple hair was blackened by the water and stuck to her neck and shoulders. The roof had always been a sanctuary for her. It was a place to meditate, a place to reflect, and the one place where she could feel calm, no matter what the situation. Now, she sought its healing powers once more as she tried to figure out how she had managed to get herself into so much trouble with her daughter, and how she was going to fix what she had broken.

"You're so predictable."

Raven looked over at her guest. The rain quickly went to work on his hair and ran down the film of his mask. "Am I?" she said, trying to hide her cracked voice.

"I could always find you on the roof."

Raven chuckled sadly. "I told her Robin had moved on and that it would be better to forget him."

"Do you know why I changed my identity, Raven?"

Raven shook her head. "Big boys don't wear green spandex and a cape?" she guessed.

"No," Nightwing said in that voice he always used to indicate he disapproved of her sarcasm. "Robin married Starfire, but he was still in love with you." He raised a hand to caress her cheek. "It was an attempt to start over, but even that didn't work. My name, Nightwing, it became a lasting tribute to you, though I'm the only one who knows it. Raven, I love you."

Raven took his hand from her cheek, holding it in her own. "You can't love me. You're married, you have a child…"

"Two children," he corrected.

"Yes, but Alette is grown. She doesn't need you as much as Tamara. Imagine how devastated she would be if you left. I won't let you do something on an impulse that you'll regret later."

"How's Alette?" he asked, changing the subject. He held tightly to her hand, not allowing her to take it from his grasp.

Raven shook her head. "She won't talk to me. She's in the Tower, though. She hasn't left."

"But you will?"

"I have to. Look at the mess I've made in the little time that I've been back!"

"We'll fix things. I'll talk to Alette. Everything will be fine."

A fresh wave of tears began to flow from Raven's purple orbs. "No, everything will not be fine! You and I moved on! You have a family, I have a family… We're different people than we were back then!"

"Are we really?" Nightwing brought both his hands to Raven's face, cupping her chin and smoothing back stray strands of wet hair. "No matter how hard I try to move on, I keep coming back to you." He moved close to Raven and before she knew what was happening he had captured her lips in a tentative kiss. How nice his lips felt against hers. She had longed for this for eighteen years…

"No," she mumbled, pulling away. "We can't."

"Raven, please. If we can't have the rest of our lives, just give me tonight." He kissed her again, this time being so bold as to push his tongue against her lips. Raven gave in to temptation, allowing her lips to part and kissing Nightwing back. His hands traveled from her face to her hips, pulling her closer. She circled her arms around his neck attempting to do the same. Not even the rain could find space to trickle between the two bodies.

Both collapsed to their knees, never stopping for breath. They burned with a fire they had not felt for almost twenty years. No matter what was to come tomorrow or the next day, they would allow themselves this night. Not even the pounding rain could get in their way.

_I cannot ignore it_

_I keep giving in _

_But I should know better_

_'Cause there was something _

_'Bout the way you looked at me_

_And it's strange that things change_

_But not me wanting you_

_So desperately_

_- Desperately, Michelle Branch_

* * *

A/N: So how was it? I have to admit, I'm a hopeless romantic, but I'm not very familiar with writing romantic scenes… so it might have been a little awkward and I'm sorry for that. Anyway, hopefully you'll hear from me sooner than you have been. Thanks in advance for reviews!

Ashlyn


	7. Absence of Fear

Disclaimer: This is the worst part… they don't belong to me.

A/N: Okay, I tried to do better on time. It's only been a week. I felt absolutely horrible for making people wait for the last couple of updates. As a note, whenever Nightwing is being normal I'm going to refer to him as Richard. Confusing, I know, but that's who he is without the mask. So I actually don't have a lot to say right now… more at the end. Enjoy Chapter 6!

**Chapter 6: Absence of Fear**

_Don't walk too close_

_Don't breathe so soft_

_Don't talk so sweet_

_Don't sing_

_Don't lay oh so near_

_Please,_

_Don't let me fall in love with you again._

_- Don't, Jewel_

She had told him to stop, not because she wanted him to, but because he had to.

_"I did not come here to break up a marriage, Starfire."_

And she had stopped as well, because she had made a promise.

Damn her being the rational one.

Now Raven sat in the darkness of her room, cold and alone, while he was lying in bed with Starfire. Raven's only consolation was that even in the comfort of his own home Nightwing, too, was cold and alone. What a pair they were.

She slipped under her covers, overly aware of the fine silk as it caressed her arms. Nightwing had awoken nerve endings she thought had long been dead. It was as if in order to capture the full pleasure of having his hands on her skin again, her body went into overdrive and now it was anticipating the next time it would feel those touches.

_There won't be a next time_, Raven told herself. Starfire, Raven had observed, was not the same naïve alien she had left behind. They had been reckless, and if they were ever caught… Raven did not want to think of the repercussions.

Raven tossed and turned in her bed, unable to stay still. Adrenaline continued to rush through her veins, preventing her from falling asleep… preventing her from making that night a memory as distant as all the others. Her fingertips caressed her slightly swollen lips as she remembered with excruciating detail each one of his kisses. She remembered the longing and the satisfaction each had conveyed. How nice it had been to feel wanted again.

_"I love you, Raven."_

Those had been his parting words and Raven both treasured and despised them. After everything that had happened between them, Nightwing was still in love with her. Of course she couldn't help but think that his words, no matter how full of meaning they had been, were more of a curse for both of them. Nightwing's love for Raven prevented him from enjoying and cherishing the perfectly acceptable life he had created for himself. As for Raven, hearing those words caused her to summon up thousands of fantastical ways in which she and Nightwing could be together forever. They might be fun to think about, but the reality of the situation was much stronger than any fantasy she could conjure.

Raven was distracted from her musings as she felt a cold shiver travel up and down her spine and a cool breeze brush past her heart. She sat up in bed, looking nervously around the room for the source of such a feeling. Looking out the window, she saw exactly what had made her feel so awful. Silhouetted by the city lights, a lone figure was hovering outside the tower as if wanting to capture it in her memory forever. Raven was not shocked to see Alette outside, turning away from the building and flying to the city. Had she not predicted that Alette would leave the Tower? Raven could feel her daughter's sadness, but also her strength. Alette's resolve echoed in Raven's head… _It would be better for me this way. It would be better for everyone. _

Raven recognized the declaration as one she commonly found herself using. She had always done things that she thought would be better for everyone else. She had neglected herself, thinking that she was unworthy of the pleasure of living. Now Alette was, undoubtedly, having those same feelings. Her mother had lied to her and her father belonged to someone else. Suddenly Raven felt very ashamed of her rendezvous with Nightwing. Instead of acting like a lovesick teenager, she should have been with her daughter. She should have been telling her that everything would work out in the end, no matter how much Alette did not want to listen. Alette was all she had in the world, and she had ignored her when she needed her mother the most.

Raven watched her daughter fly away until she had disappeared into the heart of the city. Reality had sobered Raven, and her body felt very tired. Rolling over in bed and closing her eyes, Raven made a promise to Alette that she would make things better. She would not be the source of pain for her daughter any more. "I promise," she whispered into her dark bedroom.

* * *

Alette slouched back in her chair waiting for class to start. Her eyelids drooped, heavy from her lack of sleep. She took a sip from the giant cup of coffee sitting on the table in front of her, desperately hoping that the caffeine would be enough to keep her awake. She couldn't afford to fall asleep in this class again. She'd already made a bad first impression on her psychology professor, sleeping through his first class and missing his second. She would not allow herself to be made a fool of… _again_. 

Because she had been made a fool of once… and by her own mother. It was not a fun position to be in.

_"He has moved on, as did I. I won't have you getting your heart broken when you see him with a family that isn't yours." _

All this time Raven had let her believe that her father was waiting for her to come to him. Her descriptions of her father had been romantic and idealized, but Alette had lived on them. Now she was faced with cruel, harsh truth. Nightwing did not need Alette, a practical grown-up who was ready to leave her parents' grasp. He had a child of his own. One he had raised since she had been born. So the little half-alien got all of Alette's father, leaving her with nothing.

"I'm not jealous," she whispered aloud, hoping that saying it would add truth to the statement. It didn't help. Now Alette added shame to her list of feelings. She was envious of an unsuspecting eight-year-old who had done absolutely nothing but love her father.

The door creaked open and the class grew silent as their teacher walked into the room. "Good morning, class," Professor Grayson said, placing his bag on the floor next to his desk. "I hope everyone had a good weekend."

Alette sat up, banishing thoughts of daughters and fathers, mothers and daughters. The least she could do was _appear_ to be an attentive student, even if her thoughts were on her soap opera-like life. "Miss Davenport." Alette looked up at the professor in acknowledgement of her name. "It's good to see you've decided to join us today."

"I'm sorry, Professor," Alette offered, "I…" Alette faltered. Strangely enough, Professor Grayson's hair was the same color and length as Nightwing's. "I had some…" Alette was still distracted. She thought back to the sound of Nightwing's voice and compared it to the professor's. How eerily alike they were. "… some family…" Alette dared to reach out to her professor with her powers. What was in his head? Was it the same as Nightwing's? Professor Grayson was guarded, afraid that she was discovering a secret she wasn't supposed to know. But what did he have to hide? "It was…" Alette tried desperately to let the matter go and concentrate on her response. She was sure she sounded like an idiot, stumbling over her answer. She reached deep into his mind, only to find it guarded by a black bird with the strangest pair of eyes…

They were masked.

"I had a family emergency," she said finally. Her voice was biting, accusing. Not only were Robin and Nightwing the same people, but Richard Grayson was the man behind both of them. And he also happened to be her psychology professor.

Had she mentioned that her life was like a soap opera?

Professor Grayson looked at Alette, his eyes trying to convey his understanding, his… was that pity? Alette wanted to scream, but instead she just gave her professor an icy stare, silently telling him she could care less if the man at the front of her class was her newly discovered father. Life is just sometimes funny like that. He quickly looked away, turning his attention to the class. They all pulled out their books and their computers, seemingly eager to learn. Alette followed suite, though she paid little attention to the lesson as he started lecturing. She had left the tower to escape her mother and everything her mother lied about and here was the biggest lie of them all, teaching her about the way the human being thinks. _As if I really need to be taught about the human mind. I'm going to pull out of this class as soon as it dismisses. _Alette detected the irrational bitterness in her thoughts, but she didn't care.

As a reward for her lack of control, the chalk in Professor Grayson's hand turned black for a split second before exploding into a powdery dust which proceeded to land on his pants. Utter silence overtook the room before whispers about a haunted classroom began to travel from student to student. Alette only stared at Professor Grayson, not showing her own disapproval of her slip. _There_, she thought, _that's what I think of you and her and… everyone!_

The professor, on his part, retrieved another piece of chalk from his desk. His dark green gaze rested on Alette for the briefest of seconds before returning to the chalk board and his lesson. _Calm down_ he had been saying with that look.

Alette did not want to calm down, but what choice did she have at the moment? So she sat in stoic silence, letting her anger boil inside, not even bothering to pay attention anymore. Not paying attention, that is, until an aide walked in and whispered a message into Professor Grayson's ear. Slowly he turned to the class, expertly putting on a mask of indifference. But not before Alette saw worry flicker across his eyes.

"Class, I'm afraid I have to leave. Mr. Brown," he gestured to the man who had delivered the message, "is a teacher's aide in the psychology department and he'll finish today's lesson." Alette saw him glance her way as he haphazardly threw things into his bag. _Find a way to get out to the faculty parking lot. Fast._ Alette was surprised to hear his voice in her head like that. She thought it had been something only her mother could do. Alette nodded to indicate she'd received the message and as he left the room, she began to think of things that would get her out of class.

The teacher, Mr. Brown, was obviously new at the 'being in front of the class' thing and he stammered as he picked the lesson up where Professor Grayson had left off. Alette looked down at her bandaged hand. Slowly she unraveled the white gauze. The wound was scabbed and relatively fresh. Ignoring her body's protests, Alette began to pull and poke and prod until she got it bleeding again. She interrupted Mr. Brown in the middle of one of his stutters.

"Excuse me, Mr. Brown. I think I need to go to the campus nurse. I have this cut on my hand," she held it up for a short second before hiding it under the desk, "and it's reopened. It's bleeding pretty badly." Alette couldn't help but grin as Mr. Brown's face paled considerably. Apparently, he wasn't a fan of blood.

"Y-Yes," he said, "I think you should go."

Alette collected her things and left the class. As soon as she was out of the psychology building she sprinted to the faculty parking lot. She could feel a bruise forming on her leg where her bag was hitting against it and her hand throbbed from being reopened. She ignored these things, her mind running through all the possible things that could have happened that needed both her and Nightwing's attention. She reached the faculty parking lot and set her eyes on Professor Grayson, waiting for her on his motorcycle. She trotted over to him, breathing heavily from her run.

"What's going on?" she asked between breaths.

"I'm not sure," his eyebrows furrowed in concern. "I got a call from Cyborg saying to get to the tower as fast as I could. And to make sure you came too." His gaze traveled to her bleeding hand. "Took things a little extremely, didn't you?"

Alette shrugged. "It had to be something where he wouldn't expect me to come back."

Nightwing took a quiet second to admire Alette's attention to detail. "Well, let's go," Alette said, reminding him of the more pressing matter at hand. She climbed onto the back of his motorcycle, taking the helmet he handed her.

"Hold on," he warned. He revved the engine and sped off to the Tower that loomed protectively over the city.

* * *

"What's wrong?" demanded Richard as he stormed into the main room of the Tower. Alette followed closely behind him, searching the room for Raven. She knew she was supposed to be angry with her mother, but she was standing in a room of almost strangers and it would be nice to see a familiar face. 

"Listen man," Cyborg began calmly. He was standing next to the large television screen, his eyes downcast. "Something's happened, and…"

"Those people have got Tamara!" The dejected cry came from Starfire who was slumped in a chair. Her eyes were puffy and a fresh wave of tears began to flow from her green eyes.

"What?" Nightwing asked in a disbelieving whisper. He moved to Starfire, crouched in front of her and took her hands in his own. "Who has Tamara?"

"Those… those evil people who came here with Raven," Starfire choked out.

Alette gasped, though no one seemed to notice. Why would Trigon's cult want Tamara? She was nothing to him. This was an unexpected turn in the situation. Trigon was a fight that belonged to Raven and Alette, not Tamara.

"Have you started a search?" Richard asked, moving toward the computer. His voice shook. Alette sensed that he was trying to stay strong, but the tremble of his hands as he began punching the keys on the computer gave him away. "Cyborg can you scan the city for her bio-signal? How many of them are there? Can we…" He was silenced by Cyborg's heavy hand on his shoulder.

"There's no need." Cyborg's voice was ominous, and Alette felt a sudden cold surrounding her, as if someone had left the window open and an icy breeze was blowing through.

"What do you mean there's no need!" Richard spat. He pulled away from Cyborg, looking at him as if he was the enemy. "They have my daughter!"

"Dude, they're not interested in a fight," Beast Boy said from his position on the couch. He talked barely above a whisper, as if someone had just died.

"What _are _they interested in, then?"

"A trade." The calm, monotone voice echoed through the room. Raven appeared from a side corridor, fastening a blue floor-length cloak over her shoulders.

"What kind of trade?" Richard's question was directed at Raven. His voice, Alette noticed, was different from the accusing one he had used toward Cyborg and Beast Boy. It was quieter and she thought she detected a hint of fear hidden in the phrase. Not the fear a father had for his daughter, the fear a man had when the woman he loved was in danger.

Alette didn't need to hear her mother's answer. She didn't want to hear her mother's answer. These were people working for Trigon. They would only be interested in trading for one thing… one person.

"Me," Raven said quietly as she pulled the hood of her cloak up, her face disappearing in its darkness.

"What do you mean 'you'?" Richard asked. He was no longer trying to hide the fear in his voice.

"Cyborg, show him the message," Raven commanded.

Cyborg hit the 'play' button, and a familiar face graced the screen in front of them. "Keahi," Alette hissed. She instinctively grasped her hand, feeling the caked blood on her palm.

"Hello, friends of Raven," Keahi's voice had an amused tone to it. "Very bold of you, to associate yourself with such a dangerous creature. But this really isn't for any of you. Raven," somehow, even though it was a recording, Keahi seemed to lock his eyes on Raven, "Trigon grows impatient. In fact, you have forced him to take drastic measures. As you must already know, I have the little alien child in my possession. Poor innocent soul, dragged into this and she hasn't even known you for a week. How easily everything around you is exposed to death."

Alette growled and clenched her fists. He was trying to make Raven feel guilty, and from the look in her mother's eyes, he had succeeded.

"So I'll make a deal with you. Meet me in the fields on the far end of the city at noon. You come willingly with me and I won't touch a hair on the girl's head. Fail to show up," a ball of fire formed in Keahi's hand, "Well, do I really need to elaborate? Come alone…" he seemed to think about that last condition before revising his statement, "On second thought, bring Alette." Again, though Keahi's message was taped, his gaze glanced over to where Alette stood, rooted to the spot. "I so wish to see her again. And I suppose someone will have to be responsible for getting the child back to her oh-so-worried parents." Keahi released a satisfied sigh. "Ironic, isn't it Raven? We always thought the easiest way to get to you would be Alette. But, you see, your daughter is strong too. You've done a wonderful job with her. So what to do then? Ah," he held up a finger in imitation of having a brilliant idea suddenly come to him, "Take the defenseless child of the man you love. We know you well, Raven. You will come… because you know that she belongs with him and you don't. Listen to me rambling," Keahi laughed, "we'll have plenty of time to talk later when we are both serving Trigon."

The screen went black, but Keahi's cruel grin seemed to linger.

"No!" Alette cried suddenly. She ran to her mother, taking her by the shoulders. "Mom, there has to be another way! You can't leave me!" Alette looked desperately into the depths of her mother's hood, searching for signs of hope.

Raven placed her own hands on top of Alette's, removing them from her shoulders and holding them tightly. "Alette, you can't do this right now. I need you to be strong."

Alette shook her head in despair. "I'm not ready for you to go."

The other members of the Titans watched the pitiful scene in awe of Raven. She had always been the strong one, ready to do what was needed to be done. Now, watching her comfort her daughter when her own life was seemingly on the line, they realized just how much they had each treasured that strength.

"Ali, I need you to come with me," Raven said in the same voice she used to tell Alette to wash the dishes after dinner. "I need you to do this for me."

Alette felt oddly proud of her mother's determination. She swallowed and collected her emotions. "Okay," she said, her voice very similar to Raven's eerie monotone.

"Good," Raven said, offering Alette a small smile. "Let's go." Raven moved to walk out of the room.

"Rae, we…" Beast Boy's unfinished sentence hung heavily in the air.

Raven turned around, scanning over the eyes of her former teammates… her friends. "I didn't want you to be a part of this," she began. "Alette has been preparing for this kind of situation since she could talk. You all have not. So don't think there is anything you can do to help." Though her cloak hid her face, the Titans were sure Raven was smiling at them. "It was nice seeing everyone again."

The room was silent as Raven walked out, Alette following closely behind her mother. As they made their way up to the roof, Alette found her mother's hand and took it in her own. Had it just been this morning when she'd sworn to herself that she would never talk to Raven again?

It was funny how the threat of never seeing your mother again would suddenly make you want to hold on to her forever.

They reached the roof, wincing as cold wind bit their faces. Alette released her mother's hand and they prepared to take off, bending their knees so as to propel themselves into the endless sky. As their knees straightened in unison, feet hovering off of the concrete ground, a door banged behind them and a man cried, "Raven, wait!"

Alette and Raven touched down, both turning to meet the face of Richard Grayson. Alette stayed back, watching as her mother moved closer to him.

"There has to be another way," he began. "You shouldn't have to… I mean, she's _my_ daughter and I just…"

"Richard," his name fell from her lips in such an eloquent way that he stopped talking immediately. "You know there isn't another way. I've been running from Trigon my entire life. Maybe I've just run out of time."

Alette was surprised by her mother's desolate declaration. She had always seen Raven as the pillar of determination. To hear her giving up was unsettling. Alette struggled to hold back her tears. Richard, too, seemed uncomfortable with Raven's defeated voice. He looked at her, his eyes begging her to tell him that everything would be fine.

"I will make sure Tamara comes back safe," Raven told him.

Richard pulled Raven into a hug that said more than his words would ever be able to. She returned the gesture, holding tightly to his neck. Alette watched on, realizing for the first time how much her parents meant to each other. She hated Fate for being so cruel to them.

"I need you to take care of Alette for me," Raven whispered into Richard's ear so that her daughter could not hear her. "Please."

"Of course," he whispered back. "But I won't have to for long. Because you have a plan, right?"

Raven pulled out of his arms, shaking her head. "I'm not making any promises," she told him sadly.

"Raven?" Richard asked, uncertainty in his voice. "This isn't good-bye. It can't be."

Raven took to the sky, hovering above Richard's head. "I love you," she told him, leaving him only with a forlorn smile as she flew off with Alette.

* * *

Alette had expected an army, but when she and her mother landed in the grassy fields just outside the city, they faced only one man. 

"Keahi," Alette spat, her fists clenching so hard that her fingernails threatened to draw blood from her palms.

He smirked. "So you've learned my name, finally."

"No, I just know that _James_ would never use an innocent child to fight his fights for him. He was better than that."

"James was weak. He would not even fight."

"Quiet, both of you," Raven ordered in a commanding tone. "Where is she?" she asked, turning to Keahi.

"Eager to see your father again, Raven?" Keahi was having fun, and Alette hated seeing it. For once the two women were completely at his mercy, and he was going to take full advantage of the situation.

"No," Raven deadpanned. "I am eager to return a child to her parents. Where is she?" Raven asked again, her voice a low growl. Her eyes turned a blinding white and her fists were encased by black power. She was obviously more than willing to fight.

"Okay," Keahi said, looking only slightly worried, "I get the point." He stepped aside, his cloak revealing a motionless, redheaded child.

"Keahi, what have you done to her?" Alette asked, moving closer.

"I don't think so," Keahi said, pulling Alette away from the girl. "You don't touch her until I've left with your mother. If you do, she'll be ashes in less than two seconds."

Alette glared at Keahi, squirming in his grasp. "You won't get away with this," she said menacingly.

"And who is going to stop me?" he asked laughing. "You?"

"Damn right, me," Alette said, preparing to lunge at Keahi's throat.

"Alette!" Raven called to her daughter. "Stop this!" Alette's fist froze in mid-air as she glared icily at Keahi. He released her arm, roughly pushing her away. Alette defiantly spat on the ground in front of Keahi's feet before obediently returning to Raven's side.

Raven enveloped her daughter in a comforting hug, surprising Alette. "I'm sorry for everything that's happened this week," she told her daughter.

Alette clung desperately to Raven's neck, much like her mother had clung to Richard's. She didn't want to let her mother go. Alette buried her head in Raven's neck in an attempt to hide her tears. Why was her mother not crying? How could she be so strong? "I can't fight them without you, Mom."

Raven ran a soothing hand through Alette's hair. "I trust you. I know you'll do exactly what needs to be done," Horrible images of her mother dying flashed though Alette's head, causing her to cling even closer to Raven. "And if you need me," Raven continued, "I'll never be far from reach," she said this last part as she placed a hand on each side of Alette's head.

"Well, Ali, it's been great," Keahi's cold voice broke through their tender moment, "but we must be going." He took Raven's arm and pulled her away. "And remember, don't touch the girl until we're gone."

Alette had to smile as she watched her mother pull away from Keahi, walking next to him with her head held high. When they were a good distance away, the pair stopped and turned around to face Alette. Fire encircled Keahi and her mother and for a second Alette had the wild inclination to jump in and pull her mother back. She looked over at the limp form of Tamara and decided against it. Raven would disapprove of such irrational action. Soon a fiery dome had formed, concealing Raven from Alette's view. From somewhere in its depths she heard her mother's voice.

"I love you, Alette."

And then the fire was gone, as was her mother.

"I love you too," Alette whispered into the empty field. She had the sick, unwanted feeling that she was never going to see Raven again.

Reminding herself of her purpose for coming, Alette moved to Tamara, cradling her slight form in her arms. She looked around at the grass as it twisted and turned at the wind's commands. The world was still turning and life was still moving on, and Alette hated knowing that.

Though the child in her arms was light, Alette did not trust herself to have the energy to fly back to the tower with the added weight. She had done no fighting, yet she felt exhausted. Taking one final look around at the yellowing grass, Alette encased herbody in black energy and flew off in the form of a dark bird, casting shadows on everything she passed over.

* * *

"Tamara!" 

Starfire's relieved cry pierced the silence that had permeated the room since Raven's departure. Starfire ran over to where Alette had materialized in the center of the room. She was followed closely behind by Nightwing, who had changed into full uniform. Alette handed the child over to her mother, glad to be rid of the burden. The girl she had been jealous of that morning was the reason her mother was no longer with her. She couldn't help but feel some hostility towards her.

"Why does she not move?" Starfire asked of Alette. Alette, lost in her own world of despair, only shrugged her shoulders. "Did you not hear me?" Starfire pressed. "I asked why she is not moving. Did you cause her to get hurt?"

The glass of the windows cracked, leaving an unpleasant pattern that resembled a spider's web. Nightwing placed a hand on Starfire's shoulder, silently telling her to leave Alette alone. He looked worriedly at the dejected face of his other daughter.

"We found her like that." Alette whispered. She didnot feeling like talking to anyone.

Starfire clung to the child in her arms. She ushered Cyborg towards the infirmary, eager to see him fix her daughter. Nightwing moved to follow his worried wife, lingering in the door frame of the hallway. He turned to Alette, and she saw on his face the same emotions she was feeling. Now that Tamara was safe, Nightwing was allowed to beAlette's partner in all of this. What would they do without Raven? What was going to happen to the person who had loved them so dearly?

Looking into Alette's familiar eyes suddenly became too hard for Nightwing. He turned away from her and ran down the hall to the infirmary. Raven's words played in Alette's head once more as she watched him go.

_He has his own family now_.

Alette was suddenly aware of the air around her as she began to breathe harder and faster. The walls began to spin and she could only watch as her world came crashing down around her. Raven was gone, and Alette had no one anymore. Her beaten frame collapsed onto the floor, eyes filling with tears she could no longer fight. She rocked back and forth, offering herself empty comfort that could not replace the soothing words of her mother.

Alette was surprised, but grateful, when she felt a warm arm wrap around her shoulders and pull her close. She allowed her head to fall onto Beast Boy's chest, continuing to sob.

"So kid," Beat Boy began, his voice equally as sad as Alette imagined hers would be had she the strength to talk. But it also contained a note of hope, characteristic of the normally happy changeling. Alette's sobbing paused as she looked up at Beast Boy's earnest face. "How are we going to save your mother?"

At first Alette wanted to cry even harder when she heard his question. She was powerless and incapable of doing anything that might be useful in saving Raven. But then she heard a calm, loving voice in her head.

_I trust you_.

"Beast Boy," Alette said, her voice raw from crying. She wiped stray tears off of her face. "I need to go do some reading."

_Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping_

_Hello_

_I'm still here_

_All that's left of yesterday_

_- Hello, Evanescence _

* * *

A/N: So I've finally gotten some actual plot line in! A lot of reviewers seem to be concerned about the ending… I won't give anything away, but what needs to happen will happen. Sorry to be so cryptic. Thanks in advance for any reviews and I'll try to post sometime within the next week! 

Ashlyn


	8. Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans… but my birthday is approximately seven months away…

A/N: I KNOW, I KNOW! I am terribly sorry for the delay on this chapter! One thing after another just kept coming up and I had to keep putting this off. The good news is this chapter is longer than any of the others by about two pages… a small consolation, I know… Anyway, as always, I have to say that REVIEWERS ROCK! I love you guys… even though I don't always let you know (:cough: making them wait two weeks for an update…) So I won't keep you any longer, but I have more to say at the end! I had a great time writing this chapter and I hope it's a good read! See you at the bottom!

**Chapter 6: Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own**

_I'm so tired_

_But I can't sleep_

_Standing on the edge of something_

_Much too deep_

_It's funny how we feel so much_

_But cannot say a word_

_We are screaming inside_

_But we can't be heard_

_- I Will Remember You, Sarah McLachlan_

_Severing the bond of two demonic entities is a subject of great interest. Attempts to perform this daunting task have proven futile. There is no record of a successful separation. The weaker of the two is usually sacrificed…_

Alette groaned in frustration, tossing _Mysteries of Demonic Power _into a continually growing pile of books that were not telling her what she needed to know. Discouraged by yet another dead end, Alette sprawled herself out on the itchy, eggplant-colored carpeting that covered the floor of her mother's room. Her vertebrae sung in gratefulness as they popped to relieve the stress they had experienced as Alette sat for hours in a hunched position, hovering over the words of hundreds of books. Her fingers, which had traveled through thousands upon thousands of worn pages, tugged on her arms, daring to reach the wall that was farthest from them. Her toes pointed as gracefully as a ballerina's until she could feel a stretch across the top of her feet. She wanted nothing more than to close her eyes, but she knew if she did she would not be getting up any time soon, and she did not have time to waste on sleep. In an attempt to keep her heavy lids from closing over her eyes, Alette brought her hands to her face and rubbed vigorously hoping that the action would give her a couple more hours to run on.

_Rubbing them will only make it worse, Ali._

Alette's hands froze, still pulling on her skin. Slowly her fingers released their grip as she tried desperately not to dwell on the sound of Raven's voice in her head. Since her mother's actions (Alette could not bring herself to use the word sacrifice… sacrifices usually ended up dead.) three days before, little things like motherly phrases from when she was young had become increasingly distracting. Alette now understood the meaning of the phrase 'you don't know what you have until it's gone.' Raven was better at researching. She was the more patient, wiser one. Alette was failing her because she could not find a solution to their problem. If only Raven were there in the room, helping her… But Raven had to go and play the part of heroine and risk her life in order to save another the way any good crime fighter would have done.

"Bullshit," Alette hissed into the empty room. Somewhere inside of herself Alette knew she was being bitter and childish, but she also felt like she had a right to be these things. Her mother had been the only person in her life who had truly mattered, and Alette felt more empty now than she had ever before. Crime fighters, she guessed, were not supposed to have children.

"Come on, Alette. Get it together." Alette had taken to talking to herself much more than she usually did. For three days she'd chosen to stay locked up in Raven's old room, surrounding herself with any and every item that might provide her with an answer to her many questions. There had been a couple attempts on the part of the Titans to draw her out into the real world, but Alette refused to comply with their requests. The real world did not exist anymore, because in the real world, Raven would be here to help her figure everything out.

Lying on the floor, Alette vaguely wondered what time it was. How long, exactly, had she been in this room pouring over books with no sleep? She could not see the outside world because large, heavy black curtains were drawn over the expansive windows. Her body felt heavy and she wasn't sure if she would be able to get up from the floor. Almost without thinking her eyes slipped closed into sweet darkness and the thought _Five minutes won't hurt… _flitted across her brain as she fell asleep.

* * *

The rough, familiar sound of quill pen on parchment paper slowly drew Alette from her fitful slumber. Attempting to ignore the bothersome scratching, she pulled the pillow, with its cool silk casing, over her ears. While this action successfully dulled the grating noise, it also made Alette more aware than she had been before. 

She didn't remember falling asleep on Raven's bed.

Alette shot straight up, no longer feeling groggy. Her eyes wildly scanned the dark depths of what seemed to be Raven's room. She had almost convinced herself that nothing was wrong and was on her way back down to the pillows when the irritating friction that had initially woken her up started again. Alette's eyes strained to see to the farthest corner of the room… where someone was sitting at the desk.

"Hello?" she asked tentatively, slipping out of the comfort of the bed in one graceful motion. In three quick strides she was standing behind the intruder and examining a somewhat familiar back. "M… Mom?" Alette stumbled, reaching her arm out to touch her mother's shoulder. Her fingers met nothing but air as they passed through Raven's body. "What?" Alette said, mystified. She examined her fingers as if they would provide some answers. When they did not, she looked closer at her mother.

Raven was dressed in a leotard and a blue cloak very similar to the one she'd been wearing when Alette last saw her. Her hair fell only to just above her shoulders, some strands gently caressing her chin. Moving to see Raven from the front, Alette noticed that her face, while unnaturally stoic, was still full of youthful vibrancy. And then Alette realized…

This was not her mother.

This was Raven, member of the Teen Titans.

This was a memory… her mother's memory.

Throughout all of Alette's examination, Raven had continued to write, her hand working expertly with the eloquent feather pen in her fingers. Alette watched for a few moments, mesmerized by the movements and the strokes rather than by the words actually being produced. It was only as Raven was finishing her entry with a flourish of her name that Alette realized she might want to look at what her mother had been writing.

Raven shut the journal with a soft thump just as Alette began to read the first line. Already devising a plan on how to get to the journal in a world where she was simply a spectator, Alette did not at first realize that Raven was staring at her. When she did catch her mother's gaze, she felt a cold shiver travel up from the base of her spine.

"Can you see me?" Alette whispered.

Raven only placed the journal in the top drawer of the desk. Alette heard her mother's voice, though it did not come from the teenager in front of her. Rather it echoed in the air surrounding Alette and Alette could feel the vibrations of the words all through her body. _Alette, I'll never be far from reach_. A soft wind played with Alette's black hair as she was reminded of her mother's parting words.

What did Raven want her to know?

In the silence of the dream, Alette strained to capture some meaning in the vision. Raven had sent her this specific memory for a reason… the journal. Could the answers Alette had been looking for be in the pages from so many years ago? Had Raven known that all of this was eventually going to happen?

Greedily she lunged for the drawer with the journal in it, but a wall of fire, faint enough to be an illusion, crept up from the carpet creating a barrier between Alette and Raven. Wondering if this too, was only a part of the memory, she reached forward to touch the flames. Her fingers tingled with the sensation of warmth, and Alette quickly pulled away.

_We can't have this. You should know better, Raven._

The voice was low and booming and it too, came from no bodily figure. Alette clutched her burnt fingertips to her chest as she waited to see what would happen. Suddenly, her body became very hot, so hot that it felt as if she was burning from the inside out. Screaming, Alette fell to the floor, rolling around in an attempt to squash the unseen flames. The pain was more intense than anything she ever experienced before and just as she was planning on letting her body give out, it stopped. Though still numb, Alette did not think she had been seriously hurt.

_Do not attempt to contact her again, Raven._

Raven's sad eyes looked at Alette from behind the fire. Her image began to fade, and Alette tried desperately to crawl towards her. "Mom, don't go! I… I don't understand… I can't do this without you…"

_Alette…_

Raven's voice was becoming as faint as her body.

_Alette!_

Alette paused, listening again to the sound of her name. It wasn't her mother's voice that called to her.

_Alette!_

* * *

"Alette! Alette, wake up!" 

Beastboy and Cyborg hovered worriedly over Alette's thrashing body. Cyborg took her shoulders, gently holding her to the ground. "Come on girl, snap out of it."

Slowly, Alette's body stopped moving and her eyes blinked open as she continued to mumble, "Mom… don't go…" As she crept out of her grogginess, she became aware of Cyborg and Beastboy looking down at her with concern etched into every line of their faces. "Wha… what happened?" she questioned, climbing into a sitting position. The slight movement made her dizzy, and she steadied herself by placing both hands on the floor in front of her. Cyborg and Beastboy crouched down beside her.

"You tell us," Cyborg said gently.

"Yeah, we heard you screaming and we came to check on you. When you didn't answer we bypassed the door's lock and found you rolling all over the floor," Beastboy explained.

Alette held her head in her hands, attempting to remember the dream. Her mother had been there… and there had been something she wanted to show Alette… something Trigon did not want her to see…

"It was probably just a bad dream," Alette said, trying to appear calm. She reached for a book from the pile of those she still had to read while saying, "I haven't been getting a lot of sleep… but you guys can go now, I'm fine."

Cyborg and Beastboy did not try to hide the skeptical look they gave each other. "Ali," Beastboy began, "maybe you should take a break."

Alette shook her head. "I can't."

With a determined growl, Beastboy took Alette by the arm and pulled her up so she could stand on her feet. As he guided Alette to the floor length mirror in the corner of the room he instructed, "Cyborg, turn on the lights."

Cyborg did as he was told and the bright overheads temporarily blinded Alette. "Hey!" she cried indignantly, raising her arm to shield her eyes as she followed Beastboy. Her protest was ignored, however, and Cyborg met the pair at the mirror.

"Alette, look at yourself." Beastboy's voice sounded tired and strained.

Tentatively, Alette raised her eyes to meet her reflection. She failed to suppress a gasp of surprise as she looked at herself for the first time in three days. Her eyes, framed by identical dark circles, were decorated with red-veined spider webs. Her skin was pale to the point of being grey, making her look as if she was in her last days of life. Black locks hung limply in her face, dirty from having not been washed. Alette could not hold the gaze for long. She averted her eyes, finding the purple threads of the carpet much more interesting than the pitiful girl in front of her.

"You need to take a break," Beastboy said, turning Alette back around so she could look directly at his face. "You're going to make yourself sick."

"I can't," Alette repeated, pulling out of Beastboy's grasp.

"Reading until you can't see straight isn't the best strategy for saving Raven," Cyborg added. "You haven't eaten, slept, or bathed in three days and your body is showing signs of giving out."

Alette opened her mouth to continue protesting, but Beastboy took her by the wrist, dragging her towards the open door while Cyborg walked behind her, preventing her from backing away.

Alette struggled against Beatsboy's grip. "I don't have time to…"

"Alette!" Beastboy's raised voice was enough to stun Alette into silence. "You're the only chance we have at getting Raven back safely. We all know that you're discouraged because Raven's not here and we know you're worried. But we all are. Raven was our friend. She was our family. So if we can't help fix the problem, we need to make sure that the only person who can is taken care of. Do you understand?"

Alette looked at Beastboy for a moment, noting that his eyes, too, had their own faint black frames. "Okay, Beastboy, I'll take a break. A short one."

Beastboy allowed a relieved smile to cross his face and Cyborg patted Alette's shoulder in encouragement and gratitude. "First," Beastboy said, continuing to drag Alette down the hallway, "take a bath. Cyborg was just about to start cooking dinner, so you have some time. After you eat, we'll expect you to sleep for at least six hours, if not more. Got it?"

"That's not exactly short…" Alette began, but upon seeing the look of determination on Beastboy's face, she decided to stop. She silently slipped past the green changeling into the bathroom, giving him and Cyborg a grateful smile as the door closed.

* * *

Half an hour later, water droplets from her wet hair still seeping under her t-shirt, Alette made her way into the main room. As she got closer, the smell of food made her stomach rumble with ferocity. Alette had not been aware of how hungry she actually was until that moment. She reached the counter behind which Cyborg was busy stacking waffle on top of waffle. "Hi," she greeted him as she sat down, eagerly anticipating dinner. 

"Hey," he said gently, placing a plate of waffles in front of Alette. He journeyed to the other side of the counter and joined Alette, sitting in the chair next to her. "Feeling better?"

"Yeah," Alette admitted. She reached for her fork and began stuffing pieces of waffle into her mouth as Cyborg watched in amusement. "I thought you might be hungry," he said.

Alette blushed, putting the fork down. "I guess I haven't been paying much attention to my stomach lately. I really haven't been paying much attention to anything… except…" Alette released a frustrated sigh. "I just want her back, Cyborg."

"We all want her back, Alette," Cyborg said, watching as Alette took another bite of her waffles.

Alette nodded in understanding as she looked around the room. "Where is everyone?" she asked pleasantly in an attempt to not talk about her mother for a few minutes.

Cyborg finished chewing before he answered. "Nightwing and BB are out stopping a robbery and Starfire's with Tamara in the infirmary…" Alette detected a hint of bitterness in Cyborg's voice.

"Tamara is still in there? I thought for sure she was only stunned. What's wrong with her?" Cyborg shook his head. He sat his fork down and looked at the opposite wall, avoiding Alette's face. Alette detected his unease and the terrible thought that Tamara was, after everything, dying, ran through her mind. "Cyborg?" she prodded.

"Tamara's fine," he insisted. "But Starfire…" he trailed off.

"Something's wrong with Starfire?" Alette pressed.

"No. Well, not physically at least. Look, Alette," Cyborg began to explain, "Starfire has always been in love with Nightwing. Actually, I think it's just been a terribly long infatuation period. And though she's normally one of the gentlest people I know, jealousy is one of her greatest flaws. Finding out about you and seeing Nightwing's reaction to Raven coming back has just been a little too much for her. Nightwing has been really preoccupied with Raven since… well, since she left… and he's been pacing outside her room for the past three days worried sick about you. It just seems to me that Starfire _wants _Tamara to be hurt or something so Nightwing's attention will be on the family he has with her, and not the family he has with Raven." Cyborg paused to look over at Alette, who was looking disbelieving at Cyborg. "Do you understand?"

"I guess so," Alette said. She got up and walked with her empty plate to the sink, running it under hot water before placing it in the dishwasher. "How is he… Nightwing, I mean… how is he doing? I've… I can feel him when he's outside of the room, and he always seems to be…"

"A mess," Cyborg finished for her.

Alette nodded. "He's feeling so much and he's so conflicted…"

Cyborg joined Alette at the sink, adding his plate to the dishwasher. He placed his hands on Alette's shoulders, looking her in the eyes. "Why don't you talk to him when he gets back? The guy might be my best friend, but he's harder to read than anyone I've ever met… except maybe Raven."

Alette shook her head. "I don't think I can."

"Alette, he's your father."

"I don't even know him."

"That's easily fixed." Cyborg smiled, releasing Alette. "I'm not telling you what to do, but I think you'll both benefit from it. You don't have to be alone."

"I'll think about it," Alette said, not entirely sure if she meant it.

"That's all I'm asking. So," Cyborg said straightening up and moving towards the large TV screen. "Bee's out getting a movie. You want to watch it with us?"

"I don't think so," Alette said, following behind him. "I think I'll go get some sleep, then I've got to go back to the books."

Cyborg's smile faltered. "I wish there was something I could do. I shouldn't be watching a movie, but Bee said I need to stop thinking about it and…"

"Cyborg," Alette said, quieting Cyborg's rambling. She smiled at him as she placed a comforting palm on his mechanical shoulder, imitating a gesture he often made towards her. "It's alright. There's nothing you can do. Watch your movie, and enjoy being with Bumblebee."

She turned to leave the room, stopping at the entryway to turn back around and say, "And I promise, I'll try to take more breaks."

As she made her way down the dark hallway, Alette paused in front of the double doors with the word INFIRMARY etched into the metal. Tamara was, in fact, Alette's half sister, and something inside of her felt a twinge of concern for the little girl. _Maybe I should check on her, _Alette found herself thinking. She pushed open the doors, letting them swing to a halt before she walked any further into the sterile environment. A single lamp was on, and as Alette walked closer she saw the illuminated face of the sleeping eight-year-old. Her chest rose and fell in even intervals and from what Alette could read of her emotions, Tamara seemed to be fine.

Grateful that Starfire was no where to be seen, Alette sat in the chair next to Tamara's bed and watched as she continued to sleep. "I'm glad you're okay, Tamara," she whispered, brushing red hair away from the child's closed eyes. She stood to leave, and quietly slipped through the doors, releasing a breath she didn't realize she had been holding. She prepared to finish her trek back to Raven's room, but stopped as she realized she was face to face with Tamara's mother.

"What were you doing?" Starfire asked, glaring at Alette accusingly.

"I was just… I wanted to check on Tamara." Alette began to inwardly scold herself for getting into this situation. She did not want to get into a fight with her father's wife.

"Tamara wouldn't need checking up on if you and your mother had not put her in such danger."

Alette felt her anger flare, and the light bulb hanging over their heads shattered, the glass sprinkling over the carpet. "My mom might die because she saved your daughter."

"She only saved my daughter to impress my husband," Starfire hissed, her green eyes no more than slits as she glared at Alette.

"She did it because she knew Tamara was innocent," Alette said. Feeling bold she added, "And she doesn't need to do anything to impress Nightwing, he's just naturally attracted to her."

"Brat," Starfire spat. Her fists glowed with green power.

Somewhere in the rational part of Alette's brain a voice was telling her to quit while she was ahead, but Alette was too tired to be polite. She smirked instead. "Oops, did I touch a nerve?"

"You are no child of Nightwing's," Starfire said, her eyes beginning to glow. "He is good and kind and works to protect people while you, like your mother, are a creature of darkness cursed to bring nothing but destruction and chaos wherever you go."

Alette gritted her teeth and allowed her hands to be encased by black energy. "Aren't you supposed to be the adult here? Why is it I have to be the one to give the lecture? My mother was your friend, and you tossed her aside because you can't stand the fact that once, in a different time, she loved your husband and he loved her back." Alette shook her head in disappointment.

"You speak of things you do not understand."

"I speak what I know, and that is this… My mom did not come here with the intention of taking Nightwing away from you. In fact, she didn't even want me to know he was my father… she didn't want me to get attached to a man who could not commit to me."

"Nightwing does not want you or your mother."

"Yes, you've made sure to keep him occupied, haven't you? Telling him that something's wrong with Tamara when she's fine. Why don't you let that poor child out into the sunlight instead of making her think that she's going to die? Some mother you are…" Alette released a hiss of pain as a green fist made contact with her cheek. She took a couple steps backward, already feeling her healing powers working on her bruised and bloody jaw.

"Do not tell me how to be a good mother to my child," Starfire said threateningly.

"What would you have done, huh Starfire?" Alette said, her fists producing black electric sparks. "Would you have risked everything for me?"

Starfire was caught off guard by the question and she paused to reflect. A few moments of silence passed between the two, and still Starfire did not answer.

"I didn't think so," Alette said, turning to walk away. "You're not half the mother Raven is."

Starfire's angry cry was enough to alert Alette to her attack. Before Starfire could land a punch, Alette successfully created a black shield, protecting herself from the alien's energy blasts. She was considering what her next move might be, when a voice caught them both by surprise.

"Starfire! Alette! What the hell is going on?"

Nightwing stood at the end of the hallway, mouth open is shock. He was looking quizzically from the alien to the demon-child, not sure who to approach for a story.

Alette broke her shield. Looking from Starfire to Nightwing she mumbled, "Forget it," before running out of sight.

"Starfire, what happened?" Nightwing asked, moving closer to his wife.

Starfire did not speak. Instead, she allowed tears of hate, both of Alette and of herself, to flow down her face. She clung to Nightwing as she cried, and he held her close, all the while looking down the dark hallway into which Alette had disappeared.

* * *

Fuming after her fight with Starfire, Alette found sleep unattainable. After pacing in Raven's room for fifteen minutes, she decided a walk around the Tower might do her some good. Purposely moving in the opposite direction of the infirmary, Alette headed towards a wing of the building she'd never been in before. After about five minutes of wandering, she stumbled upon a large oak door that stood out painfully from the cold metal walls on either side of it. Feeling drawn in by the door's welcoming, familiar look, Alette stepped inside. 

Lights flickered on as she opened the door and she saw that what she had come across was a large room with walls of shelves filled with books. Titans' Tower had its own custom library. The ceiling was two stories high, and Alette admired the oak wood details of the stairs and the paneling. A large brick fireplace served as the focal point of the room, though it was full of black ash and looked as if it had remained unused for a very long time. Feeling more at home than she had at any time in the past week, Alette set to work scanning the titles of the books, searching for anything she thought might help her with her search for a way to save Raven.

As she explored, Alette sang to fill the silence, something she did only when she was alone and no one could hear her. "Light and fragile and feathered sky blue… Thin and graceful… The sun shining through… she flies so high up in the sky… way out of reach of human eyes…" Alette paused as she continued singing in her rough, yet comforting way. The next words were so foreboding. How was it that she had picked, out of all of the thousands of songs she knew, this particular one? She continued, though her voice was raspier as it choked out the words. "And the only time she touches the ground is when that little bird, little bird… is when that little bird… Oh!"

Alette dropped the book in her hand as she jumped in surprise. Nightwing was standing just inside the doorway, leaning against the frame. He had a content, thoughtful smile on his face. "I… I didn't hear you come in," Alette said quickly, stooping to pick up the dropped book.

"That was the point," Nightwing said cryptically. "Although, I wasn't expecting to find you here."

"I'm sorry," Alette said, feeling more awkward by the minute. "I'll just go then."

Nightwing shook his head. "No, you don't have to. I'm glad this place is being of some use. I don't think anyone's been in here since…" Nightwing's voice trailed off and Alette had a pretty good idea of when the last time someone had been in the room was. "What were you singing?" he asked in interest, changing the subject.

"Nothing, really," Alette said, turning towards the bookshelf and pretending to continue her book hunt. "It's just a lullaby my mom used to sing to me when I was little. I really don't know why I was even singing it…" Alette's voice trailed off into the silence. She felt, rather than saw Nightwing move across the room to sit down at a table by the single large window.

"Do you know how to play chess?" he asked casually.

Only as she turned around to respond did she realize that the table Nightwing had sat down at was actually a chess board, supported by an ornate stand that was, like most other things in the library, oak. "I'm alright," she said, shrugging. He gestured to the seat opposite him, inviting her to sit down.

"Let's play."

Alette bit her lip nervously, but something felt right about this moment. Nightwing was, whether they liked it or not, part of her life, and sooner or later they were going to need to know more about each other than names. She set the book in her hand aside and joined Nightwing at the chess board. Looking down at her pieces, she had to laugh at the irony; they were black.

Noting the serious look on Nightwing's face, Alette quieted. She suddenly remembered the awful fight she'd had with Starfire and felt ashamed under his piercing stare. "I'm sorry about earlier," she began as Nightwing made his opening move. "I provoked Starfire, and I shouldn't have. I'm just… tired."

"No, you shouldn't blame yourself. Everyone's really tense these days. We're all worried about Raven," Nightwing said as he watched Alette ponder her first move.

As she slid a pawn forward Alette mumbled, "Everyone?" under her breath, her voice laced with sarcasm.

"Yes, everyone." Nightwing had heard her. "Starfire's worried about Raven too."

Alette bit down on her tongue so as not to let a horrible comment slip past her lips and ruin this moment with her father. In her silence, Nightwing continued to speak.

"It's funny that you would feel compelled to be here, in this room."

"Why is that?" Alette asked, raising an eyebrow.

"This was our place," Nightwing explained. "Mine and Raven's. She requested it when we were first making plans for the Tower. I grew attached to it too. Beastboy and Starfire have never shown a great affinity for books," Nightwing chuckled as he said this, "and Cyborg has always gotten his information from the internet. We both loved books, it was one of the many things we had in common." Nightwing looked across the board at Alette, seeing the hurt that spread over her face at the mention of her mother in such an intimate way. "Alette, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you were growing up."

Alette shook her head sadly as she placed her rook strategically behind one of her pawns. "Fate is a bitch," she said candidly. "I understand why Mom left and I know that it's no fault of yours that she didn't tell you anything. I turned out okay, for the most part at least…"

Comfortable silence again passed between the pair as Nightwing took one of Alette's pawns and she quickly returned the gesture. Alette had only every played the game with Bruce, who had used it as a method of teaching her strategy and as she watched Nightwing's plan unfold, she noticed the similarities. By now she had figured out Nightwing's connection to Bruce Wayne and the Batman, and she felt closer to her father because they had both learned from the same teacher.

"I'm not sure I can do this… save my mother, I mean," Alette confessed suddenly.

Nightwing's concentration temporarily left the board and he looked at Alette seriously. "I wish the burden didn't fall to you. Is there anything I can do to help?"

Alette thought for a second, remembering for the first time the vague details of the dream she'd had earlier. "I think I saw her earlier, in a vision. She was writing in something… do you know if she kept a journal or a diary… a notebook of any kind?"

A hint of blush colored Nightwing's face. He stood and moved to the large desk in the opposite corner of the room. From a drawer he pulled a beaten, aging leather-bound journal. "I took it from her room about two months after she left," he explained as he walked back. He sat down again, handing the book across the table to Alette. "But not to read it," he added quickly. "Just to make sure Beastboy didn't get his hands on it." Alette laughed appreciatively, running her fingers over the worn cover.

"We don't have to finish the game," Nightwing said, noticing Alette's interest in Raven's journal. "I know whatever's in there must be important, if she told you to look at it."

Alette shook her head. "No, let's finish. Somehow, I think she might understand me putting my research off for a few more minutes." She moved her knight to take Nightwing's bishop.

Nightwing smiled, once again turning his concentration to the black-and-white checkered board. "You're a lot like Raven, you know that?"

"I don't think I had much of a choice. But it's funny…" Alette's voice trailed off.

"What's funny?"

"She always used to tell me how much I reminded her of my father." When Nightwing said nothing, choosing instead to move his queen, Alette continued. "Sometimes, when she thought I was sleeping, I could hear her crying. I asked her a couple years ago why she cried… she told me it was because she had lost so much… But then she looked at me and hugged me tight… and she told me that I was worth it."

"She was still a child and… I wish she had stayed with me," Nightwing admitted.

"No, you know better than to say that. My mom was never a child," Alette corrected as she took one of Nightwing's pawns. "Come to think of it, neither was I. But we really didn't have a choice. My first words were _Azarath Metrion Zinthos_," she laughed, though Nightwing detected the sorrow in her voice.

"Did you… how should I say this…" Nightwing stumbled, "Did you have a normal life?"

"Pretty much. I mean I had a billionaire godfather who doted on me like I was a princess, and a mother who kept my feet firmly on the ground and taught me everything I know about being part-demon, not to mention Alfred, who's only wish was to see that I ate three meals a day and had some time to be outside and be a kid for a few hours. I went to school in Gotham, but I really didn't have many friends. It never bothered me much…" Alette trailed off. She was venturing into territory that was still fresh from new wounds. But something inside her and in the look Nightwing's eyes cast on her from behind his mask encouraged her to keep going. "I met this one kid in sixth grade, though. I accidentally used my powers to save him from this out of control car. His mom had died a couple years before, and we complemented each other really well. We were pretty much inseparable through middle and high school and I thought…" Alette felt heat rise to her face. "I thought at the end there I might have been falling in love with him."

Nightwing waited and listened patiently, all the while keeping up the chess game. He moved his queen into position in the silence. "Check," he proclaimed.

As she moved her king out of harm's way, Alette continued. "But then one night, a couple days after graduation, James and his father showed up at our shop… dressed in awful red cloaks…" Alette could not stop the tears from falling down her face, but she continued her story. "Apparently James's father had always had a fascination with dark magic… and he had found out about my mom and me from watching us for all those years. He told us he had been contacted by the great lord Trigon and that it was his mission to bring us to his master. I couldn't believe it… I pleaded with James… He looked at me with an awful glare, one I'd never seen on his face before… and he told me in a dead voice that his name was not James… he had been given the name Keahi by his master…"

"Keahi?" Nightwing asked, recognizing the name.

Alette nodded. "Check," she declared before continuing the story. "The one that took Tamara and then took my mother… The one who…" Alette's gaze traveled to her palm where pink scars etched out a symbol that brought back the horrible memory of the night in the alley a week before. "James's father had been one of the youngest members of the cult that originally attracted my grandmother, and he started it up again. My mom thought college would get them off of my back, and trust me, I didn't leave her willingly. But then the night before classes I spotted James's dad following me." She paused, looking at Nightwing, a small smile on her face. "And that's where you come in, I believe."

Realization dawned on Nightwing as he remembered the night when he had first seen Alette, thinking that she was Raven. "That man, then, he was Keahi's father."

"Yes," Alette affirmed as she moved her king out of another check. "And I killed him that night."

"You were protecting yourself, Alette," Nightwing said in a comforting voice.

"Now Keahi has my mother… and all I can think about is…"

"Alette, we will save Raven."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because… there's still so much I need to tell her…" Nightwing's voice trailed off and for the first time Alette noticed the damp patches around his mask. Forgetting the chess board and the fact that her king was in dire need of saving, Alette moved to Nightwing and bent over and for the first time in her life she hugged her father. She squeezed him tightly, holding on to him as she cried into his black hair.

Nightwing, though initially shocked, allowed his arms to circle around his daughter, rocking her gently as she sobbed. "I know, Alette, I know…" he whispered comfortingly. He kissed the top of her head and after a while, pulled her away so he could see her face. "Let's finish the game," he suggested.

Alette nodded in agreement, returning to her chair. They did not talk anymore, feeling that the air around them was thoroughly saturated with emotion. Every move was calculated, just as they had been taught.

"Checkmate," Nightwing announced as he toppled Alette's defeated king.

"I'm not surprised," Alette admitted. "I never could beat Bruce." She watched as Nightwing began to set the pieces in their rightful spots, readying them for the next game, whenever it might come. "Nightwing?"

"Yes?" he continued to arrange the pieces, but let Alette know he was listening with a quick glance.

"I'm sorry I unloaded all that stuff on you… I wasn't really planning on it. I'm just tired and it's all just gotten a little overwhelming…"

"I'm glad you trusted me enough to tell me," Nightwing said as he finished setting the board. "I think we'll both be able to sleep tonight," he added as he stood up. "And I think that sounds like a good idea."

"Yeah," Alette agreed.

Nightwing escorted Alette back to Raven's room, giving her a final hug accompanied by an "Everything will be fine." Satisfied that Alette was safe for the night, he traveled to the infirmary to check on Tamara one last time before he went to bed. He was surprised to find Tamara's bed empty when he got there. Worry rising in his chest, he made his way to Starfire's room on the opposite side of the Tower. Catching his breath, he punched in the entry code and waited impatiently for the door to slide open.

"Starfire, where…" His voice hushed quickly. Lying in the bed was Starfire, her hair cascading over the pillow. Her arms encircled their small child, who was sleeping peacefully in her mother's arms. Grateful that Starfire had finally decided to let Tamara out of the infirmary, Nightwing watched them sleep for a few minutes, wondering vaguely if Raven had ever held Alette safely in her arms and almost sure that she had.

He moved to the door, whispering a good-night as it slid closed behind him. Nightwing trekked back across the Tower, past Raven's room and to his own. After changing out of his uniform and into his pajamas, he slipped under the covers and into a deep sleep where visions of Raven safe in his arms comforted him.

For her part, Alette lay in bed awake, clutching her mother's journal to her chest. She did not share Nightwing's optimism, though she supposed it was for her benefit that he had taken that attitude in the first place. She wanted to read over every page in the book until she found what Raven wanted her to find, but her body protested. Resigning to the fact that she would be much more productive if she got some sleep, Alette rolled over to her side and fell asleep with the journal held protectively in her arms. As she slipped into the welcomed slumber, she breathed out the final, ominous words of her mother's lullaby.

"And the only time she touches the ground is when that little bird… dies."

* * *

A/N: Are you all okay? I know I crammed a lot into this chapter, and I hope you're not all overwhelmed and I hope it didn't seemed too forced. I had fun getting into Alette's head a little more and she and Nightwing finally got to talk! A few notes: 

I would like to again say that I don't even know what's going on in this story until I sit down to write the next chapter. Just remember that sometimes you have to go through the darkest forest to reach the most beautiful castle (Please forgive that awful thing I just wrote… You can take the girl out of Disney, but you can't take the Disney out of the girl!)

I loved that library… When I came up with the idea, I kept picturing the library from Beauty and the Beast (Oy, again with the Disney!)… Of course, I scaled it down… a lot…

The song Alette is singing is an actual lullaby called "Little Bird." I heard it on one of my Jewel CDs (don't make fun!) and it just screamed RAVEN to me… Let me know if you're interested in the lyrics for the whole song. I'd be happy to e-mail them!

To Down the rabbit hole1: It's so nice to hear from a fellow prisoner in the jail that is IB. Sometimes you start to wonder if the program really is an international thing, or if it's just one big hoax… Alette (I'm so excited you asked!) means "wing," which I found appropriate for the child of two birds… My English texts? Over the two years I've had HL English, I've read _Things Fall Apart, Heart of Darkness, Streetcar Named Desire, Sula, Anna Karenina, Crime and Punishment, Madame Bovary, The Scarlet Letter, The Bell Jar, Hamlet, poems by Keats, House of the Spirits, Their Eyes Were Watching God, The Awakening, and Ceremony_… the last of which I need to finish by Monday… What were yours?... Thanks so much!

I was so touched to hear that some of you actually cried or felt like crying after the last chapter. Raven-Fieryblack and Chica De Los Ojos Café, you guys don't know how much it means to hear that something I wrote made someone feel so much!

To everyone else who reviewed, I feel the need to repeat my gratitude… You guys keep me going!

On a much less upbeat note, in exactly nine days I will embark on the journey only people completely out of their minds are willing to take… I will begin the long haul through two weeks of solid AP and IB testing (for those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about… congratulations! You're wiser people than me…) What that means, essentially, is that I will be eating, sleeping, and breathing testing materials for that period of time and will temporarily drop off of the fanfiction radar. I will, however, try my best to get another chapter up before all hell breaks loose, but unfortunately I can't make any promises. The upside to all of this is that after testing I'm basically a free girl waiting patiently for graduation and I should have a lot more time to write.

So that's it for now… geeze, I even wrote a longer author's note than usual! I guess two weeks is really too long to go without updating… Well, let me know what you think! You know how I love my reviewers (I bet everyone is getting tired of hearing this…)! Hopefully, I'll be in touch sooner rather than later!

Ashlyn


	9. Now Comes the Night

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Teen Titans or anything affiliated with them… I just like to mess with their heads sometimes

A/N: (ducks behind her computer) Um… hi! I know… I said two weeks and over a month later here I am, finally back with a new chapter! After all my tests were finished, I suffered from a short writer's block period. I must have written five different versions of this chapter before I got it to be something decent. I am SO sorry for the delay! On another note, thanks for all the great reviews for "Let Me Go," the little Raven's version of the prologue thing I posted during my absence from this story. So, without further ado, the long awaited Chapter 8 of DWYHTD! Enjoy!

**Chapter 8: Now Comes the Night**

_Wishing you were somehow here again_

_Wishing you were somehow near_

_Sometimes it seemed_

_If I just dreamed_

_Somehow you would be here_

_- Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again, The Phantom of the Opera_

In that foggy period of time between sleeping and waking, Alette could have sworn she heard the door to Raven's room slide open. Her eyes remained closed as she listened for more sounds, but none came. Allowing a large yawn to escape, Alette rolled over under the silky sheets, preparing to return to the blissful obliviousness of sleep. Just as fragments of her latest dream were returning to her, though, Alette was rudely awakened by a finger poking into her ribs. Being somewhat ticklish, Alette's natural reaction was to laugh, but she suppressed the giggle as the thousands of possibilities of who… or what… might be poking her swam through her head. Holding tight to her mother's diary, which had remained in her arms through the night, Alette took a deep breath and slowly opened her eyes.

"Hi!"

Alette's surprise was made known as she jumped slightly and several books on Raven's bookshelf flew from their places, hitting the opposite wall before falling to the ground. The cheery greeting was a far cry from what she'd been expecting (for instance, a robed figure grinning evilly as it reached for Raven's diary) and the fact that it came from certain child who was a practical clone of the one Titan Alette could not bring herself to like only made the situation more shocking. The girl was hovering in the air above Alette, her red hair brushing over Alette's face.

Alette sat up, not sure how to handle her current predicament. Wasn't someone supposed to keep an eye on the alien child so as to prevent the meeting of the half-sisters? "Tamara, what are you doing in here?" Alette failed to suppress a yawn as she spoke.

Tamara floated down to the bed, crossing her legs underneath her as she said "How do you know my name?" in an amazed tone. She didn't seem disturbed by the fact that a perfect stranger knew who she was. She rocked back and forth on her bottom, her eyes fixed on Alette as if the older girl was a movie star walking down the red carpet.

"Umm…" Alette's brain was still waking up, and she was having trouble stringing coherent thoughts together. "I guessed."

"Oh," Tamara sounded disappointed. Apparently she had wanted Alette to divulge some top secret method of knowing a person's name without asking. "Well, you're a good guesser."

"Thanks," Alette responded, an amused smile crossing her face at Tamara's look of dissatisfaction. She reached over to place Raven's diary on the nightstand, brushing a pile of dead rose petals aside in the process.

"I bet I can guess your name!" Tamara said happily. She was now sitting on her knees, attempting to get a better look at Alette.

"Okay, give it a try." Alette welcomed Tamara's innocent games. It was a needed release from the pressures and tensions of searching for her mother. "But my name's really hard," she warned playfully as she began to stretch her muscles, tight from sleep.

"I think your name is… Raven!" Tamara grinned proudly, convinced that she had the right answer.

Alette, who had been reaching for the ceiling as she lengthened her arm muscles, brought them down slowly, clutching her hands to her chest as she thought of her mother. As she looked over to Tamara, she hoped she had her sadness hidden. "Sorry Tamara, that's not it."

"What?" Tamara was visibly upset. Her bottom lip stuck out as she pouted. "But that's the name on the door! Why would you be in this room if your name isn't Raven?"

"I'm borrowing it," Alette explained.

Tamara crossed her arms and asked, "Then what is your name?" in a defeated voice.

"Alette," Alette offered, smiling at Tamara. She didn't want the girl's feelings to be hurt.

"Oh," was all Tamara said in response.

Several minutes passed in silence as Alette watched Tamara look around the room. Had it been only a week before that Alette had felt shamefully jealous of the child and her seemingly perfect family? Now thoughts like the ones which had crossed Alette's mind that night at dinner seemed frivolous. Tamara and Starfire could have Nightwing if it meant that she could have her mother back. A life without a father she had learned to deal with, but Alette knew she could not accept a life without Raven.

"Are you a superhero like my mom and dad?"

Tamara's question broke the silence and drew Alette from her musings. A hero was courageous and put the lives of everyone else before their own. Raven was a hero. "No, I'm not," Alette answered, pleased to hear that her voice remained calm and steady, just as her mother's would have. Her legs swung out from under the covers, and she stood, resuming her stretching.

"Then why are you in the Tower?" Tamara, like her mother, did not recognize dismissal. Alette's change in tone did little to deter the child's investigation.

Alette moved to one of the large windows, looking out at the overcast sky. Her back still on Tamara, she said, "Your parents are helping me find my mom."

"Did you lose her?" Tamara's question made the entire situation sound so simple, so fixable.

Alette closed her eyes, resting her forehead against the cool transparent glass in front of her. She had not meditated yet, and she could feel the hot pressure of tears pressing against her closed lids. "Yes," she finally said, her voice sounding like a breath of air.

"Did you lose your dad too?"

Alette felt something then, a shift in the stable happiness that was radiating from Tamara. Nervous energy flooded her heart, but it was not her own. She knew then that she was no longer alone with Tamara. Someone was in the hallway, anxiously waiting to hear how Alette would answer the question that still hung in the air.

Alette turned to face Tamara again, thinking of Nightwing and how he was so similar to Raven and herself and so different from Starfire and the girl in front of her. "No, I didn't. Actually, I found him a couple days ago." It was the truth, and she had managed to deliver the facts without making her life more complicated than it already was. The last thing she needed right now was to try and explain to the girl the concept of 'half-sister.'

"But then why do you need my mom and dad to help? Can't your dad find your mom?" Tamara still sat on the bed, scrunching her eyebrows to show her confusion and frustration with the mysterious stranger who was now living in Titans' Tower.

"Tamara, there you are!" The eavesdropper in the hallway, Tamara's mother, made her presence known as she entered the room with a fake smile plastered on her face. Alette sensed Starfire's desire to get Tamara out of Raven's room and far away from the clutches of the, in Starfire's opinion, _awful_ truth. "I've been looking all over for you. You're going to be late for school if we don't hurry."

"But Mom, I was talking to Alette!" Tamara protested.

"Perhaps some other time, dear. Right now we need to get back to the house." Alette felt Starfire's unease, a product of her previous tension and the desire to leave Raven's room.

"Okay," Tamara said after releasing a dramatic sigh, succumbing to Starfire's request. She hopped off of the bed and followed her mother out of the room, stopping at the door to turn to Alette and say "I hope you find your mom, Alette!"

Alette listened to Tamara's chatter diminish as she and Starfire retreated down the hallway, and whispered into the emptiness of the room, "You and me both, kid."

* * *

Alette could think of very few things that made her feel safe. The smell of an aging book, distinctly moldy yet utterly sweet, was one of them. Somewhere in her mind she knew she made this association because her mother carried the scent, but she dared not think of such things at such a crucial time. Raven's diary sat on her lap, calling to her, demanding to be opened. Tentatively, Alette reached a hand to the cover, slipping a finger between it and the first page. The leather binding felt soft to the touch. She lifted cautiously, as if she expected Trigon himself to jump from the ink.

A shiver traveled from the base of Alette's spine to the top of her neck, and the slow progress she had been making was cut off as she slammed the book closed, tossing it to the table across from her as if it was on fire. Alette cursed quietly, the words echoing in the empty common room of the Tower. From her position on the half-circle of a couch, she looked out across the still water of the bay that separated Jump City from the much more complex world of the individuals who chose to protect the city and at times, the world. While Alette sat up in the confines of the T-shaped tower facing apocalypse, the citizens of Jump City continued their daily routines, not even capable of comprehending such an event.

At that moment, the four Titans themselves were part of that unaware world, contributing to the normalcy and, in Alette's opinion, selfishness of the general population. They had left her alone because of their obligations to the lives of their unspectacular alter egos. Beast Boy, rather Garfield Logan, would be at his veterinary hospital until five, and Cyborg, or Dr. Victor Stone, had four different delicate prosthetics operations scheduled, meaning he would be at the hospital with his patients most of the day. Nightwing, also known as Professor Richard Grayson, had a duty to fill the heads of students with information that, up until her mother had been taken, Alette had found interesting. Now she believed all knowledge gained via a school of any kind was useless. Why did they never teach you how to handle situations such as the one Alette found herself in? Not even her godfather, the Batman, had provided her with training that would prepare her to be the key to preventing total annihilation.

Though Alette couldn't be sure, she was almost positive that Starfire was a housewife, and could have easily volunteered to keep Alette company. Alette was glad Starfire had not offered, however, seeing as how she and the alien mixed like oil and water. Starfire's presence made everything harder for Alette to handle.

Alette's gaze left the hypnotizing water and her mind returned its focus to the bound pages lying lifeless in front of her. There was something about the diary that scared Alette, and that was why she continued to delay her investigation of it. Her mother may have come up with a theory about defeating Trigon, but it was sure to be a challenging task, and Alette was afraid that she might not be able to handle it. She was not as powerful as Raven. She was scared of death, her mother's and her own.

What would Raven do in this situation?

_Alette, some people say that destiny does not exist, but you must understand that it does. Destiny is like an outline for a book, the basic plot is solid, but the little details still have to be worked out. I am destined to be the portal through which Trigon comes into this world. The question is how can I ensure that he only stays for the shortest amount of time? You have to accept your fate before you can work out the details…_

Alette recalled Raven's lessons, which began shortly after she turned ten. Before it had been 'How to fly' or 'How to meditate,' but the last eight years of Alette's life, she now realized, had been moving toward this moment in which she would have to choose between running from fate or allowing it. There was no time to be afraid.

Alette ignored the still very loud voice in her head that cried "Danger!" and flipped open the cover of her mother's diary. When the sky did not begin to fall and it was clear that the end of the world seemed to be holding off for another day, Alette released the breath she would never admit to holding. The first, and biggest, hurdle behind her, she turned her attention to the diary's contents as curious purple eyes fell on an ancient seal drawn in careful strokes.

Alette's fingertips ran over the design, a triangle encased by a double ring of circles. Between the two circles was a message written in the old language of Azarath and in the center of the triangle was a single eye. Alette's eyes read over the lines of seemingly foreign symbols, decoding the cryptic message slowly. As she made the rough translation, she found herself wishing she had paid more attention to Raven during those long hours in which she was supposed to be learning the language of her ancestors.

"To enter you must break the seal. To break the seal you must be of my blood. If you are of my blood, then you are my last hope…" As Alette spoke the entire encryption aloud, the air around her temporarily froze, the foreboding message hanging in its icy clutches. The stillness of the moment was broken, however, when the diary sitting on Alette's lap began the writhe as if it was having an apoplectic fit.

Terror that Alette thought she had successfully suppressed rose up again, escaping through her throat in a shrill scream. She tossed the diary to the floor and flew high up into the air until her head was mere inches from the ceiling. Her powers were erratic from the sudden lack of restraint, allowing black sparks to fly haphazardly from her hands.

"Will you calm down, please?" The voice had no body attached to it, but the all-to-familiar monotone was enough to bring Alette back to her senses. She was definitely losing it, because she could have sworn she had heard her mother at that moment, but that was impossible. Raven could be anywhere, but the Tower was not one of the possibilities.

Alette floated down, landing only inches from the demonic book. She reached to pick it up, but before she made contact, the pages began to fly, flapping uncontrollably. A black aura encased the entire book and Alette watched in astonishment as a head, followed by a body, emerged from the binding stepping gracefully out of the chaos. As soon as the figure was free of the book, the black casing disappeared and the flailing pages halted. The book traveled to the hands of the stranger, and she handed it to Alette saying, "So you're my last hope, are you?"

Alette was speechless, resembling a fish out of water as her mouth moved uncontrollably without producing a sound. In front of her was a girl with violet hair not quite reaching her shoulders and piercing eyes identical to Alette's. Her body was wrapped in a leotard and covered by a long blue cloak. Above the eyes was, perfectly centered, was an elegant gem of red and black. Not even Alette possessed such a stone.

"Oh my god," Alette breathed as full understanding descended upon her. "Mom?"

"Well, I suppose I am," the girl said, a hand moving protectively to her stomach. "Though I haven't been one for more than a couple days…" she trailed off as she noticed the look of confusion on Alette's face.

"If this 'Mom' you are looking for is Raven Roth, then yes we are one in the same. But of course," Raven's eyes traveled over Alette's features, "you're my child. I can see it in your eyes. I knew it would be a girl. Did I name you 'Alette'?" Raven's eyes wandered out of focus, her thoughts temporarily fleeing the situation.

"Yes, you did," Alette confirmed and Raven seemed pleased to hear it. "I'm sorry," Alette said, interrupting whatever Raven had been thinking, "but I'm not sure I understand. I mean, you look like my mom… I know you are… but how are you here? You don't look like yourself and what do you mean you _will _be a mother?"

Raven sighed, sitting down on the couch as she studied Alette. "I am not anyone you would remember. I am a memory, left here as a guide and a guard to make sure that only the people who are supposed to see this diary are able to."

"A memory?" Alette repeated, disbelieving.

Raven nodded. "The Raven you are looking at right now is sixteen and found out two days ago that she was pregnant. The night she placed this charm on her diary was the night she left the Tower."

"Holy shit," Alette breathed, collapsing onto the couch next to Raven.

"My purpose," Raven continued, not allowing Alette the pleasure of being confused, "is to guide you to what you are looking for in that," she explained, gesturing to the diary. "How bad are things?"

Alette shook her head, looking away from the ghost of her mother. "You're not here. You're… gone… to I don't know where! I can feel you, when I sleep at night and in the moments when I'm lost in thought… you're in pain, be it physical or mental. And I can't help! I'm useless and distracted and I don't know what to do!" A comforting hand on Alette's shoulder quieted her, and she looked at Raven. "Why did she send me to you?"

Raven smiled supportively. "Because I'm the closest to the real thing you're going to have until you get her back."

"Can you help?" Alette asked, fearing the answer.

"Yes. When I found out I was pregnant, I developed a theory concerning how I would finally be able to defeat Trigon and rid myself of his influence. It was the final thing I wrote in these pages," Raven stroked the diary lovingly.

Alette waited for further explanation and when none came, she pursued it herself. "So what's the theory?"

Raven shook her head. "It's not that easy. Don't you think there's a reason that I put it in my diary?"

Alette thought for a second before saying with a frustrated sigh, "Of course there would be a reason. You never do anything without having a reason."

Raven smirked. "Correct. You have to start at the beginning," she instructed, and upon noticing the annoyed look on Alette's face added, "Trust me, there are some things that I would rather not divulge, but it's necessary. Remember, patience…"

"Is a virtue," Alette completed almost automatically, having heard the line used many times by her mother. "I know." Raven had taught her that patience was the key to meditation and because meditation was the key to control, Alette had quickly learned that the longer one had to wait, the more rewarding the end result.

"I've taught you something at least," Raven commented. "So let's begin, shall we?" she said, gesturing to the book in Alette's lap.

"Okay." Alette opened the diary to its first page, which was dated twenty-one years earlier. "_I ran away from Azarath to lift my burden off of my people and to find a way to reverse my destiny. Help came to me in the form of a boy who is full of mysteries of his own._" Alette read the first few sentences aloud and looked to Raven for instructions to continue or stop.

"The reason I wrote in a diary," began Raven, indicating that she wanted Alette to stop reading, "was because I could not show my emotions. Instead I poured emotion into what I wrote. Meeting me back then, you would have thought I was a heartless bitch. Reading my diary would have told you a completely different story. I had to start when I joined the Titans, or rather agreed to help Robin start the Titans. Being around people who seemed to care so much awakened emotions I had worked for years to suppress."

"The _mysterious boy_," Alette said, quoting Raven, "was Robin?"

Raven nodded. "He wouldn't take 'No' for an answer. To this day, I'm not sure what made me trust him so completely. Well," Raven said as if she wasn't quite sure her last statement was true, "I have my theories, but they're not based on anything I can really explain."

Alette chose not to discuss the blush that crossed Raven's face. She continued reading, and for a while Raven did not stop her. Alette was amazed by how like a teenager these pages made Raven sound, because Alette knew she had been anything but the definition of anything normal, especially teenager. Occasionally, when she came across pieces of information that she found interesting or amusing, Alette would stop to comment. It was Raven's choice to respond or ignore her.

"Beast Boy and Cyborg have been to Nevermore!" Alette cried indignantly. "_I've _never even been to Nevermore!"

"They weren't invited," Raven said, a scowl descending on her features. As soon as it came, however, it was lifted again. "But I'm glad they did. That day was the beginning of a long journey for me. I battled with how much I should tell my friends about Trigon for the better part of the next two and a half years."

"What happened when you did?" Alette asked.

Raven shook her head. "You'll find out," she said, gesturing to the diary.

Alette read on, making exclamations like "You switched bodies with _Starfire_!" and "I can't believe you actually worked on a car!" as she progressed. The mood faltered however as she came upon an entry riddled with fear and anger. "_Robin promised me trust and friendship. He promised it to all of us… and now he has failed. He has put us in the impossible situation of fighting him as the enemy. How can I harm the first real friend I ever had?_" Alette stopped, looking at Raven's face. It remained unchanged, but her hands clenched her robe. "Robin betrayed you?"

"No. Betrayal comes later in the story, and more than once I'm afraid," Raven said, meeting Alette's gaze. "For the majority of our crime fighting days, the Titans' biggest enemy was Slade, a psychotic criminal who sought power and control. He became obsessed with things very easily, and his first target was Robin. Robin was blackmailed into serving as Slade's apprentice."

"But everything must have turned out fine," Alette speculated.

"Yes, it did. But it would not be the last time Slade came between the Titans."

Alette was now engrossed in her mother's story. It was as addicting as any good book. She read Raven's worries and fears, and the insight that came from each experience. Perhaps that was what amazed Alette the most, Raven's ability to look at everything she had been through and understand that there is always something to be gained… knowledge. When she lost control of her powers because she did not admit fear, Raven discovered that accepting her emotions was the only way to manage them.

Terra, the earth mover, also had a profound effect on Raven. _I want to be mad at Terra. She took the trust I gave her and buried it with the same mud she tried to suffocate me with. She infiltrated our team and she hurt all of us, especially poor Beast Boy. In the end, however, she saved us all. As we grow older, one of the hardest lessons the Titans have to learn is that there is no black and white, only shades of grey. We are supposed to be fighting the "bad guys," some of which, like Slade, are easy to spot. What happens when we cannot determine good from bad? What happens when they find out that one of their own is host to the worst evil their world has ever seen?_

Alette knew Raven was referring to Trigon and the prophecy that had yet to be fulfilled. "Was it hard keeping it from them?" she asked, looking at Raven.

Raven nodded silently. "So hard," she whispered.

Not wanting to press any farther, Alette returned to the diary. However, it was not long before she came upon entries that needed to be explained. _I did something today I swore never to do. I permanently melded my mind to that of another being, forever binding us to each other. But his life was on the line, and saving him was more important than anything at that moment…_ Alette read this entry to Raven and watched as something changed in her countenance.

"Robin was being haunted by a ghost that was killing him more each minute. I put myself… my soul… into him so that I could help him understand." Upon seeing the shocked expression on Alette's face, Raven chuckled sadly. "I know it was dangerous. But it's like I wrote, I had no other choice. I think…" Raven's voice trailed off. "No never mind, this isn't the time for that."

"No," Alette said, desperately wanting to know what Raven was about to say. She was like an audience of a play, left at a cliffhanger as intermission was called. "Tell me, please."

"That day," Raven began, not looking directly at Alette, "was when I knew. I knew that Robin meant more to me than the other Titans. It wasn't that I didn't care for the others, because I did. They were my family. But I trusted Robin with my mind that night, and for me that was a big deal."

"What you're saying is," Alette began, "that at the same time you gave your mind to Robin, you gave him your heart." It felt very romantic to her, and seeing Raven blush made it even more so. "But then why the next entry?" Alette questioned. "If you knew you loved Robin, why did you choose to love Malchior?"

Raven visibly grimaced. "You're old enough to realize that nothing is ever as simple as it seems. Love was an emotion I did not fully understand at that time. I was still exploring its facets when Malchior came along. I was confused because Robin seemed to care much more for Starfire than he did for me. Malchior was everything I could not be sure Robin would ever be. Of course," she brought a hand to her chest and clenched the fabric of her leotard, "I let myself get hurt. I trusted too easily, and it had been love's fault." Alette saw a tear snake its way down Raven's porcelain face. "It would be a long time before I ever let that emotion in again."

Alette felt the mood in the room change. Raven was growing up in the pages she was reading, and the entries became increasingly troubled. There was the occasional entry concerning silly things such as Raven being turned into a bunny, but Alette sensed that Raven, at the time, felt that she had little to celebrate. Just as she began to wonder what Raven feared so much, she came across an entry decorated with the same demonic symbol that had been engraved into her right hand, the mark of Scath.

Raven noticed the worry and sensed the fear in Alette. She began to explain before Alette had even read the diary entry. "He came on my sixteenth birthday. The future that I had been running from suddenly caught up with me, and the pressure became too much. He disrupted my meditation, making it harder for me to control myself. I lost sleep because he haunted my dreams. I became so desperate that I left the Titans, sure that they would be better off without me and that I would be better off in Azarath. But he got to me there too. He had destroyed Azarath, and I realized then that I could not let him do the same to Earth. He had killed the people I cared for in Azarath, and I would not allow him to do the same to the people that I cared for on Earth."

"So you came back?" questioned Alette.

Raven nodded. "And I finally told them everything. That was the night when things started to change for me." Alette noticed a faint smile playing on Raven's lips. "Robin knew that I tried to leave. I guess it was from the connection our minds had. He came to my room and started yelling at me, asking how I could have thought of doing something so selfish. He wanted to know why I was always running from things- first from Azarath and now from the team… from him."

Alette felt the warmth of tears building up in her eyes and blinked furiously to remove them as Raven continued. "That night was the beginning of the most wonderful time of my life…" Raven looked over at Alette and considered the fact that having and raising a baby must have been equally as wonderful, so she added "up to that point, anyway. Robin and I chose to hide our relationship from the others, and when we weren't together we were searching for a way to defeat Trigon and prevent my inevitable destiny. One night, about five months after Robin and I had confessed our love for one another, we gave into passion and the uncertainty of not knowing when I might not be around anymore. It was a mistake…" Raven's eyes widened as she realized what she'd said and looked at Alette apologetically. "Not that _you_ were a mistake, it's just that we were so young and we just…" Raven faltered.

Alette sighed, releasing frustration and sadness all in one breath. When she had figured out that Raven had been a teenager when Alette had been born, she also realized that she was probably not supposed to happen. "I understand," she told Raven. "I'm just glad you didn't give me away or anything."

Again, Raven's hand went instinctively to her stomach. "How could I? I loved you from the moment I knew you were inside me." Raven reached a pale hand to Alette's face to wipe away falling tears. "I'm sorry I didn't handle the situation better."

Alette stifled her crying, sniffing and rubbing her face dry. "So," she said, her voice strained, "this is it? I turn the next page and I'll find out how I can save my mom… you, I mean."

"Yes," Raven said, her eyes locking with Alette's. She took Alette's hand in her own. "But listen first. You had to read this diary because you needed to know me, all of me, not only who I am as your mother, but who I was as a girl. You must understand me because you will have to find me in chaos and pull me out. You can save me by throwing out a lifeline, even though it may be the death of both of us."

"You're scaring me," Alette admitted, her voice shaking.

"Turn the page," Raven ordered.

Alette did as she was instructed, taking a deep breath before she allowed her eyes to travel over Raven's final message. She read it once, twice, a third time, and only then did she look up to the memory sitting next to her. "I can't do this," was all she managed to say. "I'm not strong enough."

"If you are my daughter, Alette, then I know you are powerful enough. If you are Robin's daughter, then I know you are determined. I trust you."

"This is not guaranteed to work," Alette observed. "There are so many things that can go wrong."

"Yes, every plan has flaws," Raven mused. "But it's the best you have if I am not mistaken. The others will help you, Alette."

"It's not their fight," Alette said, shaking her head.

"I used to think that way," Raven agreed, "but what I failed to realize was that my fight with Trigon was about more than avoiding my destiny. It is about stopping him from hurting innocent people and that is where the Titans come in. It is their job to protect, and they know it. That is why they will not let you give them no for an answer."

"And if I fail?" Alette asked.

Raven's eyes clouded over with the pictures of Earth burning and people reduced to stone statues. "Robin will know what to do," she answered cryptically. "But my job here is done," she said, standing up. She pulled her hood up over her head as she said, "It is your task now."

Alette felt a lump form in her throat and as she fought back tears she said, "Can't you stay? I miss you so much…"

Raven shook her head back and forth. "You know I cannot. My place is in this diary, in the past."

Alette choked on her tears and ran to Raven, wrapping her arms tightly around her neck. "Thank you for everything," she whispered into Raven's ear.

Raven kissed the top of Alette's jet black head. "I am so happy I got to meet you, Alette. You are everything I wanted you to be."

Alette felt the solid of Raven's body become warm and she stepped back as a familiar black aura encased the memory, sucking her back into the stale pages of the diary. So she was gone, and Alette was left feeling tired and empty. Setting the book aside, Alette leaned back onto the couch, letting her body relax into the soft cushions as she gazed up at the high ceiling.

"How the hell am I going to pull this off?" she mumbled. Her eyelids drifted downwards, and Alette fell into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

For the second time that day Alette woke up to the sight of bottle green eyes staring intently at her. This time, however, she was not surprised. Tamara's happiness had disturbed her chaotic dreams, effectively waking her up. "Hi Tamara," she said as she sat up, wincing as her back sung out in various pops and cracks.

"You sleep a lot," Tamara observed.

"Yes, I suppose I do. What are you doing back at the Tower?"

"Mom picked me up after school and brought me over. She says we're eating dinner over here tonight."

Alette searched for a clock and found one on the far wall. It was nearing five o'clock. Assuming that the others didn't even get off work until five, Alette was going to be alone in the Tower with Starfire and Tamara for at least forty five minutes, and probably longer. "Great," she managed to grumble, hoping Tamara did not catch her disappointment. "How was school?" she asked as a cover.

Words began to fly from Tamara's mouth as she detailed her day for Alette, but Alette was not listening. One look behind the orange alien to the table in front of the couch revealed that Raven's diary was missing, and Alette panicked. "Hey Tamara," she said interrupting the little girl. Tamara let out an exasperated "What?" obviously upset about being disrupted. "Did you see a book on the table when you got here? It looked really old and had a leather cover and…"

"Oh yeah," Tamara said, her eyes lighting up when she realized she could help. "My mom said she was going to put it away for you."

"What!" Alette cried, jumping off of the couch. "Where'd your mom go, Tamara?"

"Um…" Tamara's eyes shifted to a corridor on the left. She was obviously confused by Alette's reaction. "I think she went to her room for a second. She told me to stay with you until you woke up."

Anger boiled in Alette's stomach, and she clenched her fists as she muttered "Azarath Metrion Zinthos" to calm herself down. Tamara was looking scared now, and Alette looked at her, hoping her lips were working their way into a smile. "Tamara, stay here, okay? Watch some TV or something. I'll be right back."

"Okay," Tamara said in an unsure voice. She sat on the couch and watched Alette fly down the hallway that led to her mother's room.

Alette did not know what she was going to do when she reached Starfire's room, but all too soon she was standing in front of the door with the name STARFIRE etched into the metal. She brought her fist to the door and pounded hard. "Starfire, where is my mother's diary?" she yelled. When no answer came, Alette reached out with her powers and found that Starfire was in the room, feeling guilty and needy at the same time. "Starfire!" Alette called. "I know you're in there!" When Starfire still did not respond, Alette placed her hand on the cold steel slab that was the door and phased through. "I want my mother's diary back," she said as she entered.

Starfire yelped, standing up from her sitting position on her round, pink bed and trying desperately to hide the book behind her back. "You're trespassing!" she scolded.

"So are you!" Alette said. She used her powers to wrench the diary free of Starfire's grip and held it to her chest possessively. "How could you? This was her _private_ diary, and you decided you had the right to snoop around!"

"I wanted to know!" Starfire yelled back. "I wanted to know about her and Nightwing, but the thing is blank! It doesn't have anything in it!"

Puzzled by Starfire's statement, Alette flipped open the diary and sure enough the only thing on any of the yellowed pages was the ancient seal on the first page. Starfire had been unable to break it and therefore could not enter Raven's diary. "Unfortunately for you," Alette said, "my mother knows how to protect the things that mean something to her."

"Get out!" Starfire demanded, pointing an orange finger at her door.

"Gladly," Alette spat, placing a hand on the door and allowing her body to melt through the metal. What she stumbled upon as she reentered the hallway was enough to make her anger disintegrate into shame.

"Why were you yelling at my mom?" Tamara asked, her eyes wide and innocent. "That's not very nice of you!"

"No, it probably isn't," Alette agreed. Ignoring Tamara, she lifted herself into the air and floated back to the comfort of Raven's room. She stayed there, ignoring the dimming light in the room as the sun set, thinking. She thought about what she was going to have to do to save her mother, and she wondered why it was that she felt such hatred for Starfire, when her mother seemed to tolerate the alien.

She heard Beast Boy's voice at her door an hour later, saying that dinner was ready. She tried to tell him that she wasn't hungry, but being Beast Boy, he wasn't going to take no for an answer. Making sure that Raven's diary was safely stored in a drawer in her desk, Alette followed Beast Boy down the hall, wincing as the bright lights of the common room fell upon her eyes.

Dinner was a tense affair. Alette stayed very quiet, focusing on her food and ignoring everything else. She knew Starfire had not said anything about their earlier fight, because that would involve trying to come up with a good excuse as to why she had Raven's diary in the first place. Tamara occasionally shot questioning glances at Alette, an uncertain look on her face. The others carried on with small talk, but Alette could sense their unrest. They wanted to know what the diary had told her. They wanted to know how to save Raven.

After dinner, Cyborg and Bumblebee cleaned up while the others migrated to the living room area of the common room. Nightwing approached Alette as they walked, placing a hand on her shoulder. "What did you find out?" he whispered.

Alette shook her head, glancing over at Tamara who was laughing at Beast Boy's antics. "Not now," she said, gesturing to the child. "She shouldn't be around to hear."

"Right," Nightwing agreed, smiling at her. He went to join Tamara and Starfire on the couch and Alette suddenly felt very alone. She wanted Raven more than ever as she watched the family, feeling empty, sad, and angry all at the same time.

"You okay, kid?" asked a soothing voice from behind her.

Alette turned to face Cyborg's wife, Bumblebee, who had a concerned look on her face. "Yeah, I'm…" Her eyes traveled to Tamara's happy face, and she stopped. "No, not really," she answered honestly. "I think I'm going to go get some air, actually. Will you have someone come get me when Tamara goes to bed?"

"Sure," Bumblebee said, smiling sympathetically. "Stay strong, Alette. We'll get Raven back."

Alette nodded, not voicing her true opinion. Getting Raven back was going to be a near impossible feat.

* * *

Raven did not know where she was or how long she'd been there, and she was scared. The room they kept her in had no windows or other source of light. They would walk by her cell and chant the same, awful mantra again and again. "_The gem was born of evil's fire. The gem shall be its portal…_" Every time one came in they called her "Gem" and talked to her of the great things she would be allowing Trigon to do once he inhabited her body.

Thinking about other things kept Raven sane. She thought about Alette and Nightwing and Bruce and Alfred. She remembered the smell of coffee that lingered in her small bookstore in Gotham. She recalled the pain of birth and the joy afterwards, holding the tiny baby in her arms. She thought of her days with Robin and how beautiful she had felt around him.

"Knock, knock," came a slimy voice as someone entered her cell, disrupting her thoughts. "Thought I'd come and pay a visit to the precious gem."

"Keahi," Raven said, searching for his aura to no avail. They had placed a hex on her upon her arrival, draining her of her powers until they were necessary. "What do you want?"

"Nothing special," he said, and though she could not see him, she knew he was smiling a crooked grin. "Thought you might be lonely."

Raven ignored him, trying desperately to return to her memories. Alette, Nightwing, the Titans, the Tower…

"I wonder how Ali is doing. I do worry about her sometimes. If she sets her heart to something, such as saving her mother, she doesn't stop until she has absolutely no where left to turn. Even if it gets her killed." Keahi laughed hollowly.

"Alette knows what she has to do, Keahi. She will not fail me."

"Such a shame it will be if I have to kill her," Keahi said playfully. "I was hoping she'd join me, but you've turned her against me for good, I think."

"Ali does not need me to do her thinking for her," Raven said, hoping that he would leave soon. "She hates you."

"She loved me once though, didn't she? Poor innocent Alette actually thought I loved her when all I was doing was playing her for a… Damnit!"

Raven's rage at hearing Keahi taunt her daughter, reminding her of her own heartbreak in the hands of Malchior, took over and she had pinned him to a wall, her hand pressing against his throat. "I will kill you," she hissed.

_Good Raven, you have succumbed to your rage._

Raven inhaled sharply at the sound of the voice, deep and threatening, as it reverberated inside her head. Her hand dropped from Keahi's neck and she took a step back from him, trying to ignore his sickening laugh.

_I believe it is time to begin_.

Without warning, Raven fell to the ground as her head was assaulted by Trigon. He began to tear through her defenses, purposefully slow so as to prolong her suffering. Clutching her head, Raven screamed and thrashed. "Get out!" she cried, pulling on her violet locks. "You bastard, get out!"

But it was no use. Raven had been weakened to the point that she could do little to fight back. With no powers to help her and no strength to fight Trigon, she could only flail helplessly as he began to penetrate her body. Her markings, signally the coming of Trigon, glowed a brilliant blood red, illuminating the surrounding darkness.

* * *

A shrill scream reached the ears of the Titans in the common room, and Nightwing shot up from his chair. "Alette," he whispered so that the others could barely hear him. They quickly dropped what they were doing and started for the door that would lead them to the roof. Before they could get there, however, Nightwing let out his own horrifying cry, falling to the floor and clasping his head.

"Bee, take Tamara to Star's room!" Cyborg ordered as he bent down to tend to his thrashing leader. Bee did as she was told, scooping a frightened Tamara into her arms and shielding her from the sight of her father as they left the room. "You two stay here," he said to Beast Boy and Starfire. "I'll go get Alette." Cyborg ran up the stairs, taking three at a time. When he got there he was greeted by a sight very similar to the one he had left below. Alette was screaming and clutching her head, tears running down her face. "No!" she was shrieking. "Stop! Let her go!"

Doing his best to soothe Alette, Cyborg cradled her in his arms and took her back to the common room, laying her on the floor beside Nightwing. The three Titans did not know what to do to calm the two tortured souls in front of them, though Starfire tried desperately. Then, as suddenly as it had started, it stopped. Alette and Nightwing both shot up from their positions on the floor, looking desperately at one another.

"Oh my god," Alette breathed.

"Raven…" Nightwing was shaking.

"What?" cried Beast Boy. "What happened?"

"It has begun," Alette said cryptically. "Trigon has broken my mother's defenses. It is only a matter of time now."

"I could see her. She was," Nightwing reached a hand into the air in front of him, "right there."

"Alette," Cyborg said softly, and Alette looked at him, her eyes dulled with pain. "What just happened?"

"My mom's mind is an unstable and powerful thing, and it is where Trigon must first penetrate in order to have any hope of using her as a portal. He accomplished that tonight, just now. The reason it affected me and," she looked over to her father, "me and Nightwing is because we are a part of her mind. Because I am her child, we have had this connection since my birth. Nightwing's was formed many years ago, I believe… in an attempt to save his life."

Cyborg helped Alette to the couch while Starfire assisted Nightwing. Silence permeated the room, no one knowing what should be said next. Alette, however, was finally ready to tell them her plan.

"The city needs to be evacuated," she said evenly, looking only at Cyborg and Beast Boy, choosing to ignore Starfire clinging to Nightwing.

"What!" Beast Boy cried. "Do you know how hard that will be?"

"It will be easy compared to cleaning up thousands of burning bodies, which will be what you'll do if they stay here. Trigon will come to Jump City first. He'll come to me because I am the last threat against him. If the citizens chose to be difficult, I will forcibly remove each and every one of them," Alette added, her fists momentarily glowing black.

"And then what?" Nightwing asked, not caring about civilians at the moment. "How can we save Raven?"

"It will fall to me," Alette said. "Though Trigon will have taken control of her body and mind, her spirit will remain strong. It will be faint, but I will have to locate it. Once I do, I have to transfer my power to her and hope that it is enough for her to break free of her prison."

"Will you survive that?" Nightwing asked.

"I don't know," Alette said, grabbing fistfuls of her jeans in her uncertainty. "I don't even know if this will work."

"What can we do to help?" Cyborg asked her.

"Trigon won't come alone and I won't be able to fight his cult while I'm transferring my power. Essentially, I'll need you to protect me, at least until I've finished what I have to do."

"So, after you do the power transferring thing, what happens?" Beast Boy questioned.

"We have to trust my mother," Alette said. "It will be up to her to defeat Trigon. He is, after all, a part of her."

"And what if Raven fails?" The question cam from Starfire, and Alette wanted to be angry with her for voicing doubt, but she was too tired and the truth was that Alette had many doubts herself.

Alette looked over at Nightwing, recalling something the memory had told her earlier in the day. "She said Robin would know what to do."

Nightwing's eyes widened as he recalled a conversation he had had with Raven all those years ago. He tried desperately to steady his voice as he said, "Then we do everything in our power to bring Trigon down, even if it means Raven's life."

Alette nodded and looked out at the moon, picturing her young mother's determined face. "I thought so."

* * *

A/N: So there it is. It's getting closer to a climax every second. I hope it was worth the wait, and I apologize if it isn't. Like I said in the beginning, I've been suffering from a little bit of writer's block. Did you catch my references to 'The Prophecy'? I'm so happy new episodes are on! If you know me at all, then you know that I love reviewers! Please let me know what you think!

Ashlyn


	10. The Point of No Return

Disclaimer: I don't own the Titans… they belong to much luckier people.

A/N: First off, I'm doing the thing I do best and thanking my reviewers… you guys are the best people in the world! Where would I be without you?... well, life would be much less interesting! So, it hasn't been as long this time, but I'm still really sorry about the wait! Lots of things happened between then and now, including my graduation, a job working in a commercial, and a friend ending up in the hospital (she's fine though, thank goodness). I also saw a couple movies, both of which influenced the way I wrote this chapter: Batman Begins, which helped me figure out how to start the chapter off and War of the Worlds which had a storm in it that I drew details from for a scene towards the end of the chapter. There are also a few things that are similar to The End Part 1, which was on last night (and… allow me a fangirl moment… was great!), but don't worry if you haven't seen it yet… I don't give anything away.

Also, I have a beta now. Thanks for all the help Optimus!

So on to what you're all really here for…

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* * *

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**Chapter 9: The Point of No Return**

_This world can turn me down _

_But I won't turn away_

_And I won't duck and run_

_Cause I'm not built that way_

_- Duck and Run, 3 Doors Down_

The wind howled through the streets of Gotham City and the people rushing past Alette pulled their jackets tighter around their bodies. Alette concentrated on moving forward, not minding how her jet black locks flailed behind her or the way her coat flapped uncontrollably. With her head ducked and her arms crossed over her chest, she pushed through the crowds towards the large building that had defined Gotham since before most of the citizens could remember.

Once she had reached the large, intimidating entrance to Wayne Tower, Alette paused to look up at the structure. She knew that Bruce's office was at the very top, where the entire city lay at his feet. Alette sometimes accompanied Bruce to his various business meetings and presentations, eager to learn the ropes of Wayne Enterprises. As it stood right now, Bruce having no other blood relatives, his entire empire would be handed to Alette when the time came. He had made it official only two months before.

Then, all those days ago, Alette could not have been happier. It was what she had wanted since she attended her first board meeting as a ten year old spectator. The company had the power to change things and to make Gotham and the world a better place, and Alette was thrilled to know that she would eventually be a part of it all. But that was then… now, business agreements and piles of contracts were as unappealing as the green beans she always refused to eat at dinner. Now she had to be detached because there was a very real chance that she would not live long enough to succeed Bruce.

_No,_ Alette thought, mentally scolding herself. _I will not think like that. I will live long enough to run this company and my mother will be around to be critical of my choice._ Alette allowed herself a small smile as she thought of Raven's reaction to Bruce's proposal. "My child will not belong to that world of blood-sucking business bureaucrats!" It was true that in many ways Alette was practically identical to Raven, but growing up with Bruce Wayne as your only male role model had certain effects on a child, and Alette had learned to love the world her mother detested so much.

"Excuse me, are you all right?"

The concern of the passerby lulled Alette from her stay among the clouds, sending her plummeting eighty stories down to where her feet were firmly planted on the sidewalk. She nodded to the stranger, saying "Just daydreaming," and with a deep breath plunged into the world of Wayne Enterprises.

In the hubbub of activity, no one noticed the petite violet-eyed girl as she made her way to the elevators and pressed the button for the top floor. As she waited for the ascent to end, she tugged irritably on the skirt that fell just past her knees and tried desperately to fix the damage the wind had caused to her hair. _When I take Bruce's place,_ Alette thought as she straightened the collar of her blouse, _the first thing to change will be the dress code_.

A quiet 'ding!' alerted the floor to Alette's arrival, though the only person there to hear it was Bruce's secretary, Sarah, a middle-aged woman with prematurely grey hair and glasses that hovered on the end of her nose. When she recognized the visitor as Alette, she jumped from her desk in excitement.

"Miss Alette! I didn't know you were coming back from school this weekend!" she cried, swinging her arms around Alette's neck. Alette gently returned the gesture, grateful for Sarah's warm greeting.

"Hi, Sarah," Alette said softly as she pulled away from the woman. "What's Uncle Bruce up to?"

Sarah's thick, penciled eyebrows scrunched together, making it look as if she had a single brown line of hair growing across the top of her face. "He has meetings scheduled all day. I don't suppose he's expecting you?"

Alette shook her head. "No. This is a surprise. Do you mind if I hang out in his office? Maybe I can catch him for a moment between meetings."

Sarah motioned to Bruce's office door, decorated with a gold name plate that read MR. BRUCE WAYNE, as she said, "You're the only one I'd allow in unattended."

Laughing, Alette reached for the handle, turning it and pushing open the door. "Thanks, Sarah."

Closing the door behind her, Alette moved to the windows that lined the far wall, looking out into the grey morning. If she strained her eyes and looked to the farthest northwest corner of the city, she could see her mother's bookstore, along with the apartment they lived in above the shop. _Home,_ she thought, placing a hand on the glass as if the motion would allow her to be back inside the cozy living room, sipping tea with her mother as they discussed books, movies, and Batman's latest criminal catch.

The image of her past, a time that seemed as if it came from another life, was too much for Alette to bear, and she turned away from the cityscape, focusing on the pictures that adorned her godfather's desk. One was of herself, smiling brightly with one hand clutching a diploma and the other tossing her square hat in the air. Another was of Bruce's parents, old and faded. The one in the middle was Alette's favorite, taken when she had only just begun to walk. It was her patchwork family- she was standing on her stubby baby legs, one tiny hand wrapped around her mother's fingers while the other clung to Bruce's pinky. Alfred stood behind her, ready to catch her should she fall. A smile crossed her face as she studied the concentration evident in the features of her round face as she placed one foot in front of the other. The smile was short lived, however, because it faded as her eyes caught two pictures on the left end of the desk, separate from those she was familiar with.

If her memory served her correctly, these pictures had always been there, Alette had simply ignored their presence, blind to what had always been right in front of her. The first was of a much younger Bruce with his hand on the shoulder of a boy who could not be older than ten. The boy in the photograph had piercing green eyes and appeared to be looking straight through Alette. In the second picture, the boy looked old enough to be a man, and he was wearing a tuxedo. Next to him stood an orange-skinned woman in a white dress, her long red hair flowing out from under her veil. Bruce had called them 'old friends,' when she'd asked, and Alette had never thought to press the subject.

"All those years wondering who you were," she said, talking to the photograph, "and you were right here the entire time." With a sigh, she collapsed into Bruce's large, cushioned desk chair, absently twirling around as she waited for him to show up.

It was mid-twirl five minutes later when Alette slammed her feet on the ground to stop the motion, letting out a gasp of surprise. Standing at the opposite end of the room, leaning casually against the closed door, was Bruce Wayne. His lips curved upwards in response to Alette's reaction, and he moved towards her as he said, "Eighteen years and you're still surprised by my ability to enter a room unnoticed."

Alette wanted desperately to reply with an equally witty response, but she found that she did not have the strength to be clever. Instead, she got up and ran to her godfather, meeting him in the middle of the room. Relief she had not felt over the five days that Raven had been gone washed over Alette, and she threw her arms around Bruce's neck, burying her face into his coat. "I've missed you, Uncle Bruce," she murmured into the fabric. She felt her toes leave the floor as Bruce hugged her back, lifting her entire body in the process.

"I wish you had come to me sooner," Bruce said, releasing Alette and pulling away so that he could look into her glossy purple eyes.

Alette bit her lip shamefully. "You know, then?" Bruce did not respond, but Alette did not need him to. "Of course you know. You know everything."

"What I don't know is why you thought you should have to face this on your own. Alette, you should have called me the moment it happened." Bruce's voice had a slight edge to it, the same tone he had used to scold Alette as a child.

Alette hung her head in defeat, knowing Bruce was right. "I'm sorry, Bruce. I just… forgot. Mom got taken and I lost myself in my determination to find a way to save her. I forgot everything that didn't concern researching. I thought I was alone…" she looked into her godfather's dark eyes. "Gotham just seemed so far away."

Bruce placed a reassuring hand on Alette's shoulder and steered her to a couch that sat in the corner of the office where wall met window. "Nightwing told me what you're planning on doing," he said as they both sat down. "I won't tell you how dangerous I think it is, if you promise me you'll be careful."

"Uncle Bruce, I need you to do me a favor," Alette said, avoiding making her promise. Her eyes stared straight ahead at a large mahogany bookshelf on the far wall. She was unwilling to look her godfather in the eye because she knew her request was not going to make him happy.

"What?" Bruce asked in a concerned tone. Alette's detachment worried him.

Alette looked over at the man who had been her father, finally meeting his eyes and holding his gaze. "I need you to take care of Tamara for a while." She watched as Bruce's stoicism broke for a split second, confusion crossing his face. He opened his mouth to protest, but Alette talked over him. "No, Bruce. I do not want your help in Jump City. I used a large amount of energy to try and deter the Titans, and that did not work. Now I have their lives to worry about and I will not add you or Tamara to that list. If I fail, then you will be the only one left who knows enough about my mom and Trigon to stop them."

Bruce raised a suspicious eyebrow. "So you expect me to sit here and twiddle my thumbs while you risk your life to save the world?"

"If that includes watching Tamara, then yes," Alette said, nodding. "Starfire and Nightwing have opted to stay in the city and help, but Tamara cannot. My mother is captive because she exchanged herself for Tamara's freedom and safety, and I will not see that sacrifice go to waste. Tamara's too young to stay in the city. She'll die for sure. You and Alfred are the only ones I trust with her." Alette finished her argument, looking hopefully at Bruce.

"Should I assume that Richard has no idea that you've taken it upon yourself to make sure Tamara is protected?" Bruce asked in a knowing voice.

Alette looked down at her hands. "I left a note at the Tower telling them I'd left to visit Gotham. He and the others are busy evacuating the city, and I didn't want to propose something you wouldn't agree to do. And I think he might need to be convinced, which means we'll probably have to scream at each other… I just thought it would be better to approach him when the plans are already in order, because then he can only do so much to stop them."

Bruce nodded, leaning forward slightly and placing the ends of his fingertips together, clearly contemplating Alette's proposal. There was a long silence in which Alette fiddled nervously with her hair, absently twirling it between her fingers. In the quiet, Alette's memory traveled to a time two years before when Batman had come back to the manor on the verge of death. The fear that had gripped Alette that night was a feeling she would not soon forget, but it was what Batman had said to her that came to her in this moment of uncertainty.

_"Every time I see you like this, I worry that one more robbery, one more run-in with Joker or Two Face or the countless of other dangerous people who want your blood will be the end. What would I do without my Uncle Bruce?"_

_"Alette," he said, taking her hand as Raven healed his wounds. "You can't stop me from doing what I have come to love. Protecting these people… this city… I have to do it. Trust me to take care of myself… I would never leave you without a godfather."_

"Alright Alette," Bruce said finally, releasing a defeated sigh. "Alfred and I will take care of Tamara. Let Nightwing know that I will be by tonight to pick her up."

"Thank you so much, Uncle Bruce," Alette exclaimed, throwing her arms around Bruce's neck. Then, whispering, she added, "Trust me to take care of myself."

Returning the hug, Bruce chuckled as he said, "Since when are you the one playing the hero?"

Alette clung tighter to her godfather, knowing that this might very well be the last time she saw him. Her answer was choked out between haggard breaths as she fought off tears. "I guess if I'm going to follow in your footsteps, it will have to be down both of your paths."

* * *

Flying over the abandoned streets of Jump City both reassured and frightened Alette. The lack of people- adults traveling to work, teenagers hanging out at the local movie theatre, children playing in the park- meant that no one would be around to get hurt when Trigon showed up, but it also created an eerie silence that only intensified the seriousness of the task ahead of her. 

"I will save you," Alette declared into the wind rushing past her, her mother's face coming into clear focus in her mind. "…if it is the last thing I do."

Her feet made contact with the roof of the enormous T-shaped building, but Alette did not yet feel ready to re-enter the world of the Titans. Leaning against the railing, she closed her eyes and thought of Gotham… she would be back there soon… her mother would be there with her… they would go over to Bruce's house for Saturday dinner, just like they always had…

Alette felt her body fall forward; the metal rails seemed to be sinking underneath her fingertips. She quickly stepped back from the edge, her eyes focused on the twisted, disfigured metal that had melted under her touch… and her power. It seemed that her lack of meditation was finally catching up with her.

"Okay," Alette said resolutely. "I need to meditate. I'll be no use to anyone if my powers are out of control." She had been talking to herself much more than usual recently, the sound of her own monotone reminding her of Raven and giving her strength. She folded her legs up underneath her, taking a moment to enjoy the unique sensation of feeling the wind passing both above and below her body, and then began to chant words she had known before she had learned to talk.

"Azarath… Metrion… Zinthos… Azarath… Metrion… Zinthos…"

Alette's mind felt suddenly light, free from the chains binding her to the fight with Trigon. She focused on the words, allowing herself to temporarily forget what was going on in the outside world. She needed to be removed. She needed to be distant. She needed to be strong. She needed…

But the low rumbling of an engine jerked Alette abruptly out of her trance. She hurried over to where the roof overlooked the entrance to the Tower, bending her torso over the barricades so she could see what was going on.

Below her the Batmobile, one of Batman's many toys, floated on the water surrounding the Tower, having transformed into a large, bulky water craft. The masked man was stepping out of the vehicle and walking out to meet him were Nightwing, Starfire, and Tamara. The girl was clinging tightly to her mother's neck and with a pang of guilt Alette recalled the conversation she'd had with Nightwing on her way back to Jump City from Gotham.

_"Bruce has agreed to take care of Tamara until this is all over," she had said hastily into the communicator._

_"Excuse me?" Nightwing was taken aback by Alette's information. "I wasn't aware that she was going anywhere."_

_Fighting the urge to snap at her father, Alette explained in the calmest manner she could muster. "Tamara can't stay in the city, Nightwing. Trigon will not spare Tamara because she is not fighting. She knows Bruce and will be safe with him."_

_"My daughter is staying with me."_

_"Then she will die and you will carry that guilt on your conscience for the rest of your life, no matter how short it may be."_

_The line was silent for a moment and Alette felt slightly ashamed of her harsh words, but she knew they had been worth it when Nightwing's defeated voice cracked over the line._

_"When will he be here?"_

"I don't want to go! I want to stay with you and Daddy!"

Tamara's pathetic cries echoed up to Alette, and she found herself looking away from the heart-wrenching scene. She was no stranger to being separated from a parent, and she hoped that one day Tamara would forgive her for putting her through so much emotional turmoil.

Nightwing spoke, and Alette strained her ears to hear what he was saying. "Tamara, sweetie, Mommy and I have to do some important work in the next few days. We'll come get you when we're finished. You love visiting the manor."

The talking stopped and Alette peered curiously over the bars once again just in time to see Starfire and Nightwing each kiss Tamara as they transferred her to Batman's arms. After making sure the child was safely secured in his vehicle, Batman looked up at the roof of the Tower, locking his eyes with Alette's. Nightwing and Starfire followed his stern gaze.

She had been caught.

Heaving a heavy sigh, Alette floated down to the rocks and landed in front of Batman, her back to Starfire and Nightwing. Her eyes nervously avoided his. There was something she had not told him that morning… something that needed to be said.

"You are the only father I have ever known," she said determinedly. Behind her Nightwing visibly winced. "I know you're angry with me, but you must understand… she's my mother…" Alette tasted the familiar salty tears as they slid into her open mouth. She hurriedly wiped them away with the back of her hands. "There is a very real possibility that I won't see you again and…" Alette stopped, silenced by her godfather's strong arms pulling her towards him.

"Alette, just don't do anything I wouldn't do," he said. She noticed the slightest of wavers in his voice and hugged him tighter.

"I love you, Uncle Bruce."

"I love you too, Alette."

They broke apart abruptly. As she watched him climb into his waiting transport, Alette realized that Batman had not given her the chance to say good bye, and she was grateful for it. Saying good bye was permanent… it meant that she would not be coming back... and if he had let her say it he would be admitting that he believed he would never see his goddaughter again.

"Take care of Tamara for us," Nightwing called as the vehicle began to pull away. Starfire clung to Nightwing's arm and her loud sobs echoed into the distance.

Alette watched the black hover craft coast out of sight and her eyes stayed on the horizon long after it had gone. Her body felt suddenly heavy and her tired legs collapsed under the weight of what she faced.

"Alette?" Nightwing's voice sounded as if he were calling from very far away. "Why don't you come inside? It's getting dark."

Alette felt her head shaking and managed to say, "You go." She slipped off her shoes and allowed her feet to find relief in the cool water that was lapping at the rocks. The sun was just beginning its descent, casting an eerie red glow on the surface of the bay water.

"You can't keep doing this, Alette."

Nightwing's voice startled Alette and as he sat down beside her, her eyes traveled from the abandoned city to his masked eyes. Starfire was nowhere in sight. "Doing what?"

"One minute you tell us that you need our help and the next you're off in your own world, kicking the rest of us out. Raven used to do it too, and she shut us out whenever she needed us the most. We don't need to be protected."

"She was only trying to keep you from having to face the atrocities of Trigon," Alette said, defending her mother's actions while at the same time defending her own. "Yes, you're a superhero and have faced many dangerous situations. But even heroes need to be protected sometimes."

"If you don't tell me what is going to happen… because I'm assuming that's what you're worrying about… then you'll be sending all of us in blind. You'll get us killed and you will carry that guilt on your conscience for the rest of your life, no matter how short it may be."

Alette did not miss Nightwing's use of the same argument she had used against him not two hours before. Yet his comment did little to persuade her. It only served to increase her anger. She glared at him, her purple eyes narrowing to tiny slivers. "I don't need you to tell me what I should or should not be doing. You have no idea what is going on! I've been preparing for this my entire life and you think I can make you and the others ready in a couple of hours! Just do what you're good at… fight anything that comes at you and run whenever you can't take it anymore!"

"We don't run, Alette."

"Then for your sake, I hope my mom is still reachable. If she is too consumed by Trigon's hatred, then there is nothing we can do to stop him."

"We both know that Raven is too strong to be defeated so easily," Nightwing said, his eyebrows furrowing in concern. He placed a hand on Alette's shoulder as he said, "What's really bothering you, Alette?"

Alette shrugged out of his grasp and pulled her feet out of the water. She stood up and looked down at her father, irrational emotions boiling inside her. She knew what she was about to do was unnecessary and juvenile, but her lack of control was winning the internal battle and Nightwing had the unfortunate privilege of being the only person around to be on the receiving end. It was too bad Starfire had not stayed outside.

"What's bothering me?" Her voice was low and biting. She spoke through gritted teeth. "That was probably the last time I'll ever see Bruce! Transferring my power might kill me! Trigon will be defeated because of my sacrifice, but then my mom will live a miserable life. You and I both know that if anything happens to me she'll blame herself. She likes to do that."

"Alette, you're not sure you'll die. You told us last night that you have no idea what will happen," Nightwing said, trying to calm her down. Alette was doing a spectacular job of showing off the not so glamorous traits of both of her parents. Raven and Nightwing were two people who, when they were frustrated, let the whole world know.

Alette placed a discomforting smile on her face. "Okay," she began in an eerily calm voice. "Let's just pretend that everything goes according to plan. I successfully transfer my power, which Mom successfully uses to destroy Trigon. The clan members are sent to jail or whatever… Then what? Everything goes back to normal? You stay here with your perfect little family and Mom and I go back to Gotham, where I'll have to listen to her crying every night because she misses you. Everything will be a thousand times worse than it was before all of this! I wish I had never come to Jump City!"

"Alette!" Nightwing was standing now too and in an attempt to calm his daughter down he had taken her by the shoulders, trying to steady her flailing arms.

"Let me go!" Alette cried, trying unsuccessfully to pull away from her father's strong grasp. "Did you really think that I was going to be okay with all of this? That Mom would be?" She put on a falsely happy tone and continued, "Oh yes, my father has an entirely different family, both members of which hate me, I might add. I think I'll hang around because I so enjoy the nasty glares Starfire sends me whenever you're not looking!" Her voice fell back into its angry stride. "No thank you. Mom and I will be fine without you! We managed before and…" Alette faltered, suffocated by the pain that was radiating off of the man across from her. She looked at him, trying desperately to hang onto her anger.

Nightwing took advantage of Alette's momentary lapse of screaming to pull her close into a tight hug. She fought valiantly to try and break free and finally tired out, her fury disintegrating into angry tears. "It's not fair," she sobbed quietly. "It's not fair that she gets to have you… that she's had you her entire life! I've loved you forever… the idea of you, anyway. And as soon as I find you, I have to let you go?"

"You don't have to compete with Tamara, Alette," Nightwing said, his voice shaking with his attempts to fight off his own tears.

"But I can't stay here. My place is with my mom, and her place is anywhere but here. It would be more painful for her to wake up and sit across from you and Starfire at breakfast every morning than it would be for her to remember you as you were…" She sniffed as her tears started to ebb. "So no, I don't have to compete with Tamara. She wins by default." She tried to pull away again and this time, Nightwing let her.

"When this is all over," he said, a determined look on his face, "we will figure something out. I'm not about to let you and Raven walk away from me… again."

A sad smile crossed Alette's face and when she spoke, her voice had returned to its normal calm. "I'm sorry… I'm not angry with you. I'm angry with the world in general. We should go inside," she said, now heading back towards the Tower.

"But…" Nightwing knew that Alette was not as fine as the cover she was putting up.

"Let's get through tomorrow, okay?" Alette said, stopping but not turning around. "I don't want to fight with you when I have no idea what will happen to me. I'd rather you not remember me as an immature brat."

"Okay," Nightwing agreed halfheartedly. A few moments passed in silence as the pair made their way up to the entrance to the Tower. When they reached the door, Nightwing paused to look at Alette. "Tomorrow?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow.

Alette froze with her hand over the panel that would unlock the entrance to the Tower. She stayed like that, thinking about what she had just said and after a moment, she issued an audible intake of breath. She refused to look at Nightwing directly. With a sideways glance she said, "I think you should have everyone assemble in the common room. Things are moving faster than I thought they would."

* * *

Eight pairs of eyes stared at Alette, each asking the same question. If an urgent meeting had been called, then it was because something had happened. The Titans wanted to know what had happened. 

"I've been so caught up in everything else…" Alette started, choosing to look up and over the four heads instead of directly at them. "I didn't stop to think about the days… the weeks… that have gone by. Just now, while I was talking about my mom with Nightwing…" Alette noticed Starfire's sudden uneasiness upon realizing that Nightwing had been talking about Raven. "Tomorrow is her birthday."

"So you think Trigon will attack tomorrow?" Cyborg asked, wanting to confirm what he already knew. Everyone remembered the horrible events of Raven's birthday all those years before, and from Alette's serious tone, they knew that she believed it would begin tomorrow.

"Yes," Alette said as she nodded. "Trigon loves sticking to dates… my mother's birthday is his favorite."

"So…" Beastboy began, struggling to find the words he needed. His pointy ears drooped and his lip trembled slightly. "We're going to fight tomorrow."

"Yes," Alette said again. "I don't know when, though. It could be at midnight or he could wait until the last minute… but it will be tomorrow."

"Then we all need to get some sleep," Nightwing said, assuming his leader-like tone. "We'll need all of our energy."

No one moved. They were still looking at Alette, who sighed in frustration. "What?" she asked. All at once three questions assaulted her, and it took her a moment to separate them from each other.

"What's going to happen tomorrow?" Cyborg asked cautiously.

"What do we do if… you know… if this doesn't work?" was Beastboy's question. He tried desperately to hide his fear.

"Will I ever see my daughter again?" Starfire inquired, her voice barely audible among the others.

Alette took a breath, turning to each of them as she answered their individual questions. She caught Cyborg's eye first. "I've told you your part of what's going to happen tomorrow. You'll disable the cult members, who will probably be trying to kill me. If you manage to get them all down, then get as far away from me and Trigon as possible. If not, I'll give you your signal to leave."

She turned next to Beastboy, and as she spoke she attempted to hide her own uncertainty. "If it doesn't work, then you have to get away. Go to Gotham… Batman will be your best source for help."

"Starfire," she said calmly, her eyes traveling from the green changeling to the orange alien, "I would never be the reason for a little girl to be separated from her parents. If you do as I have instructed you will see Tamara again." Alette glanced at Nightwing. "Both of you will."

"We know what we're supposed to do," Beastboy said, his voice barely above a whisper, "but what is going to happen to you?"

"I'm not going to tell you that," Alette said stubbornly. "You do not need to be worried about me. You know that I'm transferring my powers to my mother. That's enough. Now," she said in a tone that clearly stated she was not going to answer any more questions. "I agree with Nightwing. We need to sleep. I'll know when it's time and as soon as I know, you will."

It was clear to the four Titans that Alette was finished for the night, and so they begrudgingly made their way out of the common room, each giving Alette the best smile they could muster at such a foreboding time. The last one to leave was Nightwing, who stood at the window with her while Starfire waited in the corridor for him.

"When I said _we_ need to get some sleep, I meant you too," he said, noticing Alette's dark circles and pale face. "More than any of us, really."

She smiled and met his gaze in the window's reflection. "I know. I think I'll sleep in here, though. My mom's room is getting too… well, I end up keeping myself awake if I'm in there. Plus, I'm closer to the alarm in here."

Alette expected Nightwing to leave then, but when he did not, she looked up at him curiously. He was resting his head on the glass of the window and he whispered in a low voice as he spoke. "I have to believe that everything is going to work out tomorrow, Alette. If it doesn't… if I lose you and Raven… I _can't_ lose you and Raven… It would kill me."

"I won't make any promises," Alette said in a shaky voice. "We have to be realistic. But," her tone was hopeful, "the most important thing is that Mom has something to fight for… she'll fight for me… and she'll fight for you…" She, too, looked off into the distance beyond the glass.

"Alright," Nightwing said, collecting himself with a shake of the head. "I'll see you in the morning, Alette. Good night." He kissed the top of her head and ruffled her hair affectionately before heading to meet Starfire where she was waiting, shifting from left to right impatiently. Before he could make it, however, he was thrown forward by the force of Alette as she wrapped her arms around him from behind.

"I've waited a long time to say this, and I won't get around to it if I wait until tomorrow," she whispered, her voice traveling up and over his back to his ear. She took a deep breath and said, "I love you… Dad."

The words echoed in Nightwing's head. Tamara said 'I love you,' at least twice a day, but hearing it from Alette was a completely new experience. He brought his hands to meet Alette's and turned to face her as he unwrapped himself from her grasp. Without hesitation he looked into his daughter's eyes, a mirror reflection of Raven's, and said, "Alette, I love you too."

Alette closed her eyes and smiled as she fully appreciated hearing the words from her father for the first time in her life, but the moment was ruined by an irritated cough from Starfire, who had watched the scene with her mouth open in shock.

The split second of normalcy shattered by Starfire, Alette took up a business-like tone as she said, "I'll know when it is about to begin and I'll sound the alarm as soon as I know. Good night."

Nightwing nodded, and Alette could tell he was trying to apologize for Starfire's rude behavior. She watched Nightwing and Starfire walk off into the darkness, and when they were gone she once again took up her meditation position. Her actions during the past twenty four hours had been much too unpredictable and erratic. She needed to have complete control of her emotions. Sleep was second in importance to control.

"Azarath… Metrion… Zinthos…"

* * *

Alette had just managed to drift off to sleep when a flash of red and a crack of lightning swam across the inside of her eyelids. She shot up from her spot on the circular couch and as if she had been doing it her entire life, ran for the alarm at the back of the room. Reaching out with a black tendril of power, she pressed the button and waited for the Titans, noticing that the kitchen clock read 6:00. Hurried footsteps announced the arrival of Cyborg and Beastboy, followed closely by Nightwing and Starfire. 

"It's time," Alette breathed, noticing that no one looked as if they had gotten a wink of sleep. She gestured out the window. A sun the color of blood was rising in the east and black storm clouds were gathering in the distance. "There's still time for you to get out if…"

"Alette, we're not going anywhere," Beastboy said determinedly.

Alette smiled, the only gesture of thanks she could manage to produce. "Right. Follow me." She shot upwards, phasing through the ceiling and up to the roof. The others charged up the stairs, opening the rooftop door to a rush of strong wind. Alette was waiting for them, watching the churning clouds patiently. The darkness hung over the center of the city and the wind was rushing to the growing storm, feeding the chaos.

"Take a breath, everyone," Alette advised, raising her voice so that they could hear her over the gusts. "This is the calm before the storm."

As if on cue, lightning began to strike. It descended from the sky, and upon impact flames erupted from the ground. "One," Alette whispered. Bolts continued to fall and new flames were created from each one. The Titans watched helplessly as their city burned. As soon as Alette had counted ten strikes, they stopped as suddenly as they had started.

"Okay. I'll lead, you guys follow me. As soon as we land we're going to hit the cult. Trigon will come as soon as he is provoked. Remember, get out as soon as you can." Behind her, each of the Titans marveled at how much Alette, who had taken the position of leader, sounded like Nightwing in that instant.

"Only if you're with us," Nightwing said. Alette chose to ignore her father's stubborn comment.

Flying over the bay went quicker than Alette wanted it to. She didn't feel ready. She was nervous and scared, but she knew there was no time for those emotions. As they abandoned the air for land, choosing a spot that was relatively distant from the raging flames, Alette looked one last time at Nightwing, who nodded understandingly, and her fear ebbed slightly.

Just as Alette had predicted, Trigon's supporters appeared from nowhere, advancing quickly as they each formed fistfuls of fire. Among the cries of the hooded figures and the roar of the burning city, Alette heard Nightwing shout, "Titans go!"

All at once, each one of the five began to attack. Beastboy morphed into a rhinoceros, charging through a nearby group while Cyborg made a large sweep across the crowd with his sonic cannon. Starfire took to the sky, launching green energy bolts from up above. Nightwing had his bo staff in one hand and dodged a wave of flames before attacking two approaching figures, taking one out with a strong blow to the stomach and a sweep of the leg and another with a sharp uppercut and a jab with his staff.

Alette, however, was getting the most attention. Cult members seemed to be coming at her from every side. She chanted her mother's phrase and emitted a powerful wave of black energy that knocked every single one to the ground. Taking advantage of their distraction, Alette shot off into the sky. She surrounded herself in her own dark power so as to deflect any balls of fire that might eventually come her way. Then she set in motion the chain of events that would hopefully save her mother.

"Trigon I'm hurt!" Alette shouted, hoping that her actions would not distract the others from their task. "Here your granddaughter has come to see you and you hide in the shadows instead of coming out to greet her. Funny, one would almost think that you're _intimidated_," Alette let her last word hang in the air, a teasing smile on her face. This was her element. Taunting the enemy gave her strength and confidence. "Trigon the Terrible afraid of little ole me? I guess I should feel honored or something. Of course, the only reason you would have to be afraid of me is if I was a threat. You didn't really think I'd step aside and let you take over the world, did you? You don't have a snowball's chance in…"

Alette's goading was interrupted by a horrible roar that ripped through the clamoring of the fighting going on below. For a moment all was silent as the Titans and the cult members looked at the being that was rising from the flames. His head was decorated by a crown that made his head appear to have twin antlers and his four red eyes glowed menacingly.

"Just couldn't resist, could you?" Alette said, smirking. She crossed her arms defiantly as she looked into each of his eyes, hoping that her outsides were providing a good cover for her twisting and turning insides. "It's been a while, Trigon."

"Child," the demon began in his threatening voice, "how do you expect to stop me when your mother could not put up a decent fight?"

"Who said anything about _me_ stopping you? How could someone like me, who's only a quarter demon, hope to possibly defeat someone like you, who is one hundred percent genuine bad guy?" Alette knew that she needed to keep him talking long enough to search for and find a faint glimmer of her mother's energy. Everything depended on finding Raven inside the horror that was Trigon.

"And who do you think it will be? Them?" Trigon's large, clawed hand gestured to the fighting Titans. "They are insignificant."

"What about me?" Alette asked, gliding dangerously close to her grandfather. She hovered ten feet from his scarlet glare. "Am I insignificant? And if I am, then by all means… please kill me. I'd rather just end it now than have to suffer."

"Your mother would be ashamed of your weakness," Trigon said as he raised his hand menacingly. Alette did not flinch. "With you gone, there will be no hope for Earth." He made to drop his fist onto Alette, intending to knock her out of the sky and squash her like a pesky insect. Yet midway through his swing, his arm stopped as if some invisible force was holding him back. This was the sign Alette had been searching for.

"Ha!" she cried confidently. "She's still there, Trigon. We both know it. She stopped you from hurting me!" Backing away only slightly, Alette assumed the position she had grown accustomed to. Glaring at Trigon she shouted, "It won't be me that defeats you, Trigon. It will be my mother!"

Alette began to chant, her black force field keeping all assassination attempts at bay. "Azarath…" _Mom! Where are you?_ "Metrion…" _I know you're in there somewhere. I can feel you._ "Zinthos…" _Come on, Mom, help me out here._

Alette felt herself leaving her body behind. Her astral projection, which was like her mother's in that it resembled a large black bird, flew over the battle below her. Trigon attempted to prevent her from entering, closing his hands around her as if he was catching a firefly. But Alette was not solid and so slipped through his grasp as easily as water. With one final burst of energy, Alette entered Trigon's mind, temporarily overwhelmed by its darkness. A road appeared below her, and Alette had no choice but to follow it. She shed her bird-like appearance and touched down, her footsteps echoing as she inched further into Trigon's mind.

Alette managed to travel through Trigon's outer mental defenses easily enough. His mind was a barren waste land haunted by four-eyed crows and pits of fire. She could tell she was getting closer to Raven when the crows began to attack, slashing at her face and tearing her clothes in an attempt to deter her. The heat became increasingly overwhelming and Alette felt very faint. _Just a little further_ she kept telling herself as she continued her mental journey. Just when she was beginning to think that Raven would never be found, Alette happened upon a large steel cage inside which her mother lay, apparently unconscious.

Distracted by the sight of Raven in such a state, Alette was caught off guard by a wave of fire as it hit her stomach and sent her flying. She looked up into the hateful eyes of Trigon from her place on the ground of his mind. In the distance, Raven stirred.

"Mom!" Alette cried, desperately trying to reach Raven. Trigon sent another ball of fire at Alette, but she narrowly avoided it as she rolled out of the way. "Mom!" she called again. "It's me, Alette! Snap out of it! Come on, Mom…" Alette's pleas were silenced as Trigon's fist made contact with her face, but her cry of pain achieved what her voice alone could not.

Alette's pain reached Raven, pulling her from the deep abyss of unconsciousness. She sat up slowly, regaining her bearings and trying to figure out exactly what was going on. Beyond the bars of her cage, she could just make out the limp form of Alette in Trigon's grip. "No…" she breathed.

Though her body protested, Raven stood and made her way to the edge of the cage. "Trigon," she called, catching the demon's attention. "Leave her alone!" Black power began to encase the metal of the cage as Raven used all of her energy to try to escape.

"You are too weak," Trigon observed happily, walking ever closer to Raven. "You cannot win."

Alette began to stir, and from her place in Trigon's hand, she looked down at her mother. "If you're ready," she called down to Raven, "I'm going to do it. If I wait any longer, I won't have the strength to do it properly."

"Alette…" Raven's voice trailed off.

"Don't you dare try to talk me out of it now!" Alette stated as she closed her eyes. She began to chant and her astral form disappeared from Trigon's grasp as she left his mind.

Back outside Trigon's mind, Alette took a final, deep breath. "Find your center," she commanded herself. "Focus on Mom…" Her black shield crept closer to her body, forming an awkward exoskeleton. "Azarath… Metrion… Zinthos…" Alette's body glowed white for a second. "Azarath… Metrion… Zinthos…" The black power separated itself from her body, forming a carbon copy of herself. "Azarath… Metrion… ZINTHOS!" With the final word, the projection flew away from Alette piercing Trigon's head and leaving her powerless.

With nothing to hold her up anymore, gravity took possession of Alette's body, dragging her down to the ground. In the distance, she heard Trigon crying out in both pain and anger. A nasty crack echoed across the battlefield as Alette's head met pavement. A red-robed figure took her in his arms…

Then all went black.

* * *

A/N: A cliffhanger? I think so! I hate doing it to you guys, but it will make the rest of the climax so much more interesting! The good news is that I actually know what's going to happen in the next chapter… the first part of it anyway… so I might get it up a little sooner. It might also depend on my mood after I get my scores from those tests that I had to take a while back (they come out on Wednesday)… so pray for good news for the sake of the story! Well, I think that's it for now… Please review because you know that I can never get enough! 

Ashlyn


	11. Breakaway

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans… The End Part 2 would not have had that Rob/Star action if I did…

A/N: Okay, before I get into my lame excuses, I have to thank all of my reviewers! You all continue to rock! Now, on to the begging for forgiveness part… I really didn't mean to leave it this long. And I'm sorry for doing it. It was just one of those things… my writing was crap for a couple of weeks and then the new Harry Potter book came out (that book was so good!) and after reading that I slowly came back to my senses. Very slowly. But I'm here now and I hope the chapter makes up for my absence.

Thanks to my detail-oriented and hopelessly anal beta, OptimusChrist.

I have a little more to say, but I won't hold you any longer. Go forth and read!

One more thing… this chapter rewinds a little bit to before Alette leaves Trigon's mind. Instead of staying in Alette's POV (like in the end of the last chapter), I move to Raven's POV. Hope it isn't too confusing!

**Chapter 10: Breakaway**

_Don't give up on me_

_I'm about to come alive_

_- Train, I'm About to Come Alive_

"Don't you dare try to talk me out of it now!" Alette cried as she struggled against her grandfather's grasp, and the determination in the tone of her voice and the slant of her eyes was enough to convince Raven to quiet any protest she might have made against her daughter's actions.

Seconds later, Alette's astral form dissolved and disappeared, leaving Trigon's hand clutching only air. The disappointed look on her father's face fueled Raven's confidence. He had no idea what she was planning… what she had been planning since the day she'd realized she was pregnant. She allowed a cocky smirk to pass across her face as she said, "Well, it's been fun spending this quality time together Trigon, but I'm afraid it will soon be over."

"Over?" Trigon's voice echoed into the abyss that was his mind. He chuckled and then stooped low so that his four eyes aligned perfectly with Raven's two violet ones. "My child, it is only the beginning of my reign of this planet."

"Not quite," Raven said, holding her father's gaze. "In a few moments I will be unstoppable."

"Do you refer to the transfer of power between yourself and your daughter?" Trigon's lips curved into a sadistic smile as he saw a nervous look crack through Raven's confident exterior. "I must admit, it was only a few moments ago that I realized what you and the child were planning… very clever of you daughter. I did not think you capable of such trickery. And yet, even your best idea will be ruined by me. Why do you think I let her pass through my mind so easily?" Trigon paused, letting the question hang in the air between himself and Raven. Raven stayed quiet, her heart beating faster with every word her father spoke. "I knew she would only transfer her power when she found you, so I led her right to you and now I am waiting for the gift that is supposed to be your saving grace. But you should have realized that nothing can save you from your destiny, daughter. Ah…" he turned his massive head to look into the distance. Raven followed her father's eyes and saw, speeding towards the pair, a black bird with large purple eyes. "It appears that your daughter was, in fact, strong enough to complete the transfer."

Raven felt her stomach twisting into nervous knots and her white knuckles clutched the bars of her cage as she called to the approaching blur of power. "Alette! Alette, go back! It's a trap!"

Trigon used one hand to bang against Raven's prison, sending her flying to the opposite side and with the other reached out greedily for Alette's powers. "It is useless, daughter. She is mine." With those ominous words, Trigon's large, clawed hand closed around the bird, which quickly changed into the form of a teenager struggling to release herself from his clutches.

"No…" Raven breathed as she stood on shaky legs.

"Yes," Trigon responded in a mocking tone. Pinching the hands of his captive between his thumb and forefinger, Trigon raised Alette's fighting form so that it dangled just above his mouth. The astral Alette was kicking furiously as her arms flailed in an attempt to fly away. Her blank eyes looked to Raven for help, but Raven could offer nothing from behind the bars of her cage. She was forced to watch helplessly from the sidelines, her arms reaching desperately as she begged for some spark of power that would save her daughter. None came and Raven watched in horror as Alette's power fell into the darkness of Trigon's mouth, the girl's lips open in a silent scream.

With a violent roar, Trigon began to expand. His body grew taller as his muscles bulged and power radiated off of him in red sparks. Once the increase in power finished, Trigon's cries of pain turned into waves of laughter.

"You… this won't stop us!" Raven called to him, her shaking voice betraying her brave face.

"Who is this "us" you talk of, daughter?" Trigon asked as he flexed his newly enhanced bicep. "The machine and the changeling who never really tried to understand you? The alien girl who has everything you ever wanted? The man who stopped loving you many years ago? Or the daughter who is probably dead by now? Trust me, my dear, you are in this alone. You always have been and you always will be."

"That's not true!" Raven called up to her father. "They are my friends and they won't stop fighting you until they are dead!"

"They won't stop fighting _us_," Trigon corrected, glaring at his daughter.

Raven opened her mouth to shout out another biting comment, but found herself unable to speak. This was not supposed to be how things happened. She had been so sure of her plan… but she had made the mistake of underestimating Trigon… of thinking that she was capable of outsmarting him.

"Come now, child," Trigon said, noticing Raven's crestfallen features. "Surely you didn't place hope in this little game of yours? Well, you shouldn't have. Your plans relied much too heavily on those creatures you call friends and your daughter. Love made you soft. You have always been so willing to love, you've always wanted it so bad… and all it did was cause you pain. Silly girl… a demon lives a solitary life."

"I am _not_ a demon," Raven said through gritted teeth.

"No, I had to resort to giving you a human mother and because of that you were always defiant. Always _hopeful_ of escaping me… well, look at where that human optimism has gotten you. Right where you knew you would end up. With me." Trigon gave his daughter one last horrible smile before stomping off into the depths of his mind, leaving Raven alone to contemplate what he had said.

Raven had meant to stop listening to Trigon, knowing that his words would only hurt her and prevent her from focusing on a way out of the mess she had created, but they were so close to the arguments she had with herself that she could not close her ears to him. Her destiny had been set for her and there was nothing she could do to stop it… there had never been anything she could do to stop it. Trigon was absolutely right… she had hoped that loving Robin, loving Alette, and loving her teammates would help to counteract her inner demons and keep Trigon at bay, but it seemed that all of her efforts were in vain.

But why had she thought that love would save her in the first place? She had been taught as a child to be emotionless. She was to let no feeling, be it love, hate, or otherwise, become her ally. And yet she had chosen love, the most dangerous of them all, and now she was paying for it.

She wished she had never known love at all.

_That's not true, Raven._

Raven drew in a sharp breath in surprise as a familiar, somewhat hurt, voice echoed in her head. Making sure that Trigon was no where near, Raven reached out tentatively with her mind.

_Robin?_

_You told me once that you wished you had never fallen in love… do you remember?_

_Yes, _Raven said, still not sure whether this conversation was real or if it was one of Trigon's cruel tricks. _I said that when you told me that you loved me. I knew it was dangerous… I should have trusted my instincts all that time ago._

_Maybe, _Nightwing agreed, but there was no conviction in his voice. _That night I told you that love… our love… would be able to beat Trigon. I told you that if you let yourself be loved, the evil of your father could not survive. I asked you to trust me and you did. _

Raven could not help but smile at the memory. _You gave me Alette that night… but that is certainly not what we should be talking about! _Raven snapped out of her memories, and landed back in reality, pulling Nightwing with her. _Robin, _Raven said in a hurried voice, desperate to let him know that there was a problem. _He took Alette's power. There's nothing left for you to do. You have to go, all of you. Although running will just prolong the inevitable…_

Raven's voice trailed off and the reality of what was going to become of the world, of the Titans, crashed down upon her. She had tried so hard to protect them from Trigon, going so far as to remove herself from the only place she had ever called home. And all of her sacrifices had been for nothing.

_I can't believe you're talking like that! _Nightwing was still there, and Raven could feel his ever-present hope in her own mind. _You want us to give up? The Titans don't run away, Raven._

_You are too stubborn for your own good. Go be with your daughter for a few more hours, Robin. I wish I had had more time with Alette…_ Raven's tone was biting and accusatory and even from his position outside Trigon's body Nightwing could clearly see the familiar look of self-hatred on Raven's face. _I was never as strong as you, Robin… never as hopeful as you wanted to believe I was. I'm sorry for all the pain I have caused._

_Raven… you can't stop fighting. _Nightwing was practically pleading with her now. _This can't be the end…_

_Robin, I have no power and we both know that I am the only person who could pose a threat… _

_We've talked about this before! _Nightwing exclaimed with a new fervor._ Your power belongs to you, not your father. You can't let him win, Raven!_

_Don't you get it, Robin? He has already won. He took you from me and now he's taken Alette… you two were the only things I had and now..._

_Trigon didn't take me from you, Raven, _Nightwing said, his thought accompanied by a rush of sadness. _You did. You left me and denied yourself what I offered you. You've always used Trigon as a scapegoat for your own selfish actions. _

_How dare you! _Raven exclaimed, her fists clenching. She failed to notice one of the bars of her cage crumple under the power of a black wave of energy.

_But it's true, isn't it? _Nightwing persisted in his argument. _You say that you can't do anything to stop Trigon… that he has taken any power you might use against him. And yet here we are… using the bond created by your power to speak to each other…_

_What are you suggesting? _Raven queried, her anger temporarily stifled by her contemplation of Nightwing's words. She waited for his answer, but she suddenly felt alone again. Nightwing was no longer present in her mind.

_Robin…? _Raven's attempted to reach out to him again failed. Something was preventing him from concentrating on her… something was wrong.

Raven looked off into the fiery horizon of her father's mind, willing herself not to cry. _You've always used Trigon as a scapegoat…_ Nightwing's words stung and she hated him for saying it. But was there truth in his claim? It was at this moment that she noticed the mangled piece of metal that had once been a bar of her cage. When had that happened?

_Your power belongs to you…_

What did Nightwing know, anyway? He had always been arrogant enough to think he could understand her… that he would help her in her torment. He had been cocky too, much too cocky for his own good… that stupid grin he would wear… the one that made her stomach twist and her heart flutter…

Another bar shrieked as it was twisted by a dark aura.

"What?" Raven mused, placing a hand on the damaged steel. "How did I…?" With a glimmer of hope, she raised her hand out to another unsuspecting piece of the prison and muttered "Azarath Metrion Zinthos." She concentrated, waited… but nothing happened. The cage stayed as erect.

"Damnit!" Raven cursed, slumping down and bringing her knees to her chest. She wanted Nightwing to come back. She didn't want to be alone anymore. And then two memories, summoned from seemingly no where, flashed through her thoughts.

_Raven, I love you._

_I love you, Mommy._

Robin and Alette had been the only two people to say those words to Raven. When she had made the choice to leave Robin, Alette had been there to fill that void in her heart. They had given her so much, and here she was, lying in the odd limbo of her father's mind letting them slip through her fingers without a fight.

And somewhere in the depths of Raven's soul something flickered and white sparks shot unexpectedly from her fingertips. _People fight their hardest when the ones they love are the ones in danger._ Robin's words, spoken to her so long ago, echoed in Raven's head as she stood from her huddled position. One last fight… all or nothing… life or death…

"You are wrong, Trigon," Raven hissed in a menacing voice. The bars of her cage trembled and splintered in the midst of her rage. "The ones I love are exactly what I need… it is them who will defeat you, not me. Their love lives in my heart, and my heart is the one place you fear to visit. My mind might be poisoned with your influence, but _your_ mistake, dear father of mine, was forgetting that I am human." Raven felt energy surge within her and she released the white magic, allowing it to travel into the abyss of Trigon's mind. She smiled as a tortured cry echoed across the void, shaking the ground on which Raven stood.

Trigon suddenly appeared, four red eyes alighted with fury. "What's this!" he cried in surprise. "I took all you had… you should be shrinking into oblivion… you should not have escaped!"

"There have been a lot of things in my life that I should not have done, Trigon," Raven said, her voiced laced with sadness. "But this," white energy made its way to her palms, "is not one of them." She took a deep breath, glared into the four slits her father had for eyes and shouted "Azarath Metrion Zinthos!"

The power did not only come from Raven's hands… it flowed from her very being. It was warm and so unlike the cold black magic she was used to. Pieces of memories… holding hands with Robin, making dinner with Alfred and Bruce, singing Alette to sleep… flashed before her eyes in rapid succession and for a terrifying moment, Raven thought she might be dying. Though the fractured cries of Trigon meant that he was most likely defeated, that did not mean the one who defeated him automatically got to keep her life. And she realized that, even though she had been prepared to give up hope only moments before, she was not ready to die. Not with so much left unsaid…

* * *

Nightwing spat the mixture of gravel and blood out of his mouth and lunged at the man who had caused his connection with Raven to falter. In each punch he threw at his attacker, he released a small amount of the frustration he felt towards Raven. An uppercut accompanied by _Why the hell does she act so clueless? _A jab to the stomach as her desolate voice repeated itself in his head. _I never gave her any reason to doubt me. She knows I will fight for her. Why won't she fight for me? _A final swipe of the leg and the overpowered cult member fell to the ground unconscious. _Why is she so willing to give up?_

As a new wave of red robed figures began their onslaught, Nightwing was forced to place thoughts of Raven in the background. He had to trust that the Raven he had known all those years ago would show up and give her older counterpart the sense and the strength to save them. Now, he had to focus on the seemingly never ending supply of Trigon's followers. For every one that the Titans managed to incapacitate, another three began their attack. Why would so many people willingly devote themselves to the end of the world? What had happened in their lives to make them feel that all humankind must be punished for it?

But this was no time to start analyzing and pitying the enemy. Nightwing needed to get into the air. He would be able to assess the situation better from above and perhaps devise a better strategy than the free-for-all that was currently going on.

"Starfire, give me a lift!" Nightwing ordered, reaching his arms up expectantly. Yet no strong hands came to grasp his own and his moment of shock was rewarded with a sound punch in the stomach. Faltering, Nightwing drew out his bo staff and, keeping the attackers at a good distance, began a search of the darkened skies for his wife. Where had he last seen her? How long ago had that been? Cyborg and Beastboy were still in sight, both apparently unaware of Starfire's absence from the fighting.

Another frightening thought assaulted Nightwing. Alette had yet to join them. She had promised… _As soon as I finish what I need to do, I'll come find you. I'll probably be weak, but that doesn't mean I can't help._

Nightwing's stomach twisted in panic which was well hidden as he continued to fight. He yelled Starfire's and Alette's names across the vast battlefield, eyes searching the fray for the green flash of a starbolt or the dark aura of his daughter's magic. And all he received were curious stares from Cyborg and Beastboy, who then began their own searches for the missing members.

Nightwing released a frustrated curse as he attacked another group of cult members with fresh fervor. Starfire and Alette were both missing and probably in danger. Raven was despondent and refused to listen to him. These women meant more to him than anything else in the world, and he could do nothing to save them. He couldn't lose them… it would be devastating. But it seemed as if that was what was going to happen… if Raven didn't get her act together, then this was the end of everything he had come to care about…

An angry cry, so powerful that it shook the ground beneath Nightwing's feet, distracted him from his depressing musings. Trigon, who had remained aloof during the fighting, refusing to involve himself with the insignificant brawling, was trashing violently and clutching his head.

"Raven…" Nightwing breathed as he, along with Cyborg, Beastboy, and the army of cultists watched Trigon's internal suffering.

It only took seconds. In an explosion of white light, Trigon's red flesh was ripped from the bone as he screamed in agony. The pieces of bloody sinew scattered over the city and upon impact dissolved immediately. Sickening popping and cracking sounds could be heard as Trigon's bones were turned to ashes by the power that seemed to have come from no where.

And then, high in the air where Trigon's four eyes had once been, the figure of a woman appeared. Violet hair swirled around determined purple eyes and, for the shortest of moments, her gaze fell upon Nightwing. Raven's voice echoed in his head, as clear as if she had been standing right next to him.

_Thank you._

With one final, determined battle cry, Raven released a wave of white energy that carried over all of Jump City. The cult members fell to the ground simultaneously screaming in pain as fire was ripped from their bodies. Raven was extracting Trigon from each of them… making sure that all remnants of her father disappeared from the world.

"Dude…" Beastboy whispered in awe. All around the three male Titans, the members of Trigon's cult fell unconscious to the ground. The battle was over.

Raven had saved them.

* * *

_"James, do you believe in fate?"_

_"Only a thing as big as fate could have brought us together, Alette."_

"Wake up, Alette." Cold fingers ran across her cheeks as a low growl of a voice echoed in her ear. She concentrated all of her efforts on opening her eyes, trying unsuccessfully to ignore the searing pain of a split skull and the warmth of blood as it seeped down her back. With a groan of impatience, her eyelashes fluttered and her purple eyes fell on the man who was cradling her.

Alette felt panic seize her heart and she immediately tried to pull away from the figure whose pale blue eyes were looking at her hungrily. His grasp held firm on her wrists, one of which seared with pain as he squeezed it. She vaguely remembered trying to break her fall with her hand. "K… Keahi," she mumbled, her head giving a horrible throb in protest. "What…? How…?" Alette trailed off and looked around for someone she could call to. She needed a Titan, but as far as she could guess, she was very alone.

"You fell," Keahi explained in the same gravelly voice. "After you transferred your powers to Raven, there wasn't anything left to hold you up. And now that you've served your purpose, it is time for my reward."

"Please, James…" Alette pleaded. She searched desperately for the strength that she knew she would not find. Her body was exhausted from the process of ripping a piece of itself off and sending it away. Anger boiled in the pit of her stomach when his fist made contact with her jaw, and the fact that this emotion produced no black spark, no hint of the power she had come to depend on, frightened Alette. She was truly helpless for the first time in her entire life.

"Do not call me that," Keahi hissed into her ear, "James is dead." His hand flitted across the skin of her stomach and Alette failed to hide a sob. "Oh, do I detect fear? Alette Davenport, admitting that she is scared? Scared, perhaps, for her life?" Keahi reached to his side and drew a silver dagger from a sheath. It's red and black encrusted hilt shimmered unsettlingly. "Or is there something more precious she is afraid to loose?" Again, his hand met her flesh and his fingers inched eagerly upwards under her shirt. Alette bit her bottom lip as she attempted to make her feet move. If she could manage to push him off of her… but nothing happened. Her body was heavy and she had no control over it.

"I… I hate… you," she breathed, tears flowing freely from her eyes. "I hate you," she repeated in a stronger voice.

Keahi laughed and shook his head disbelieving, causing several pieces of blond hair to fall across his right eye. "Alette, you always were a fool. Do you think your supposed love mattered to me? You were never anything more than an assignment… a job. Now," he brought the steel blade to her neck, touching the edge to her exposed skin, "it is time for you to be quiet. Another sound and," he dragged the dagger down her neck, making the narrowest of slices, "I'll have to permanently mute you." He paused for a moment, waiting to see if the rag doll of a girl would protest. When she did not, a maniacal grin spread across his face. His lips began a ravenous search of her face, her neck, her chest…

_Help me, _Alette called out to an apparently empty abyss of minds. She probably no longer had the ability to contact people in the way she was attempting, but she could not stop herself from trying. She tried to ignore Keahi's hot breath as it mingled with her own. _Let me die, _was the hopeless thought flying around her throbbing head._ Let it end now._

And for a moment, Alette thought her wish for death had been granted. A blinding white light permeated the space in front of her eyes, and she felt Keahi's weight shift. He no longer had her pinned. "No!" he yelled, and as the whiteness receded, Alette noticed the defeated look on Keahi's face. And then something inside her head clicked.

"She's won, Keahi," Alette said with as much strength as she could muster. "Trigon has been defeated and you lose."

Keahi turned his furious features toward Alette, his grip tightening around the dagger's hilt. "No, Alette. It will be your mother who truly loses. Imagine the look on her face when she finds you, slashed so badly that you are barely recognizable…" His eyes were clouded over with mania as the blade rose above his head. He struck once, making a clean gash across her stomach. Alette hissed in pain, but tried not to concentrate on the blood flowing freely from her body as she searched for a way to escape. Keahi raised the blade to strike again, and Alette bit her lip so as not to give him the pleasure of hearing her scream, but the blow never came.

"Leave her alone!"

The angry cry was accompanied by a flurry of green energy bolts, all of which caught Keahi in the stomach and sent him flying off of Alette and into the building across the street. Alette did not have energy enough to lift her head to see what pain Starfire was inflicting on Keahi, but the sound alone was enough to fuel her imagination. She waited, listening to Keahi's requests for mercy as they became increasingly faint. After a while, he made no sound at all.

Starfire's bottle green eyes came into focus, and then quickly became fuzzy. Alette's head felt worse than ever and she was fighting simply to stay conscious. "Starfire," she mumbled as the alien picked her up, holding her as if she was a large baby. "Thank you." Alette curled inward, seeking the warmth of Starfire's body. She felt cold and tired and all she wanted to do was sleep. Sleep sounded like a very good idea.

"… stay awake…" Starfire's voice sounded far away, even though Alette had never been closer to the alien. She was vaguely aware of being in the sky, and an unexplainable fear gripped her. She rolled closer to Starfire's body as pitiful noises she did not have the strength to be ashamed of escaped her mouth. "… won't drop you…" Starfire's voice was growing fainter, but it never stopped.

"Hang on… hang on… hang on…"

* * *

"Nightwing!" 

Nightwing's survey of the destruction around him was punctured by a horrified exclamation from Cyborg. He looked to where his friend's cybernetic finger was pointing and felt his mouth open in horror.

Raven was falling.

His instincts took over and Nightwing was running faster than he ever thought he could. He had to get to her before she hit the ground. After all that they had just survived, she was not going to die because he had not been there to save her. Releasing his grappling hook, Nightwing glided through the air to close the remaining space between himself and Raven, catching her petite frame in his arm and guiding them down to the ground.

"Not… not yet," Raven mumbled as Nightwing propped her head up in his arm.

"No, Raven," Nightwing, said as he smiled down at the woman in his arms. "You're not going to die yet. And the world won't be ending anytime soon. Thanks to you." She felt warm lips brush across her own, and with a contented sigh, her world dissolved into black.

Raven's slip into unconsciousness alarmed Nightwing only momentarily. Her chest was rising and falling in even intervals and she seemed to be without many physical wounds save a couple of cuts and bruises. She was going to need time to heal herself, and he would be waiting for her when she woke up.

Nightwing picked Raven up and carried her to meet a relieved Cyborg and Beastboy. He handed the empath to Cyborg, a plan already forming in his head. "Cyborg, take Raven back to the Tower. I… I'm not sure what she's going through, but she's alive and that's what matters. Beastboy, you and I need to fan out and start searching for Starfire and Alette. They can't be too far away, but they might be seriously hurt…"

"Uh, found them," Beastboy said, interrupting Nightwing's orders. He pointed his finger toward something behind Nightwing. Noticing the fear in Beastboy's eyes Nightwing spun quickly on his heels in order to see the sight which had caused such a dire look to cross the face of the most jovial Titan.

"Forgive me," began Starfire, before Nightwing could say anything. "I know it is against orders to abandon the battle without warning, but she dropped so fast," Starfire nodded to indicate that she was talking about Alette. "And I did not wish to distract you for fear that you might be hurt as a result of my actions."

"Starfire, what happened to her?" Nightwing asked in a shaky voice. He stepped tentatively towards his wife and peered down at the unconscious teenager in her arms. Alette's hair was sticky with blood and her lip was swollen and had turned a sickening purple color. The large slice across her midsection was still bleeding, staining Starfire's orange skin a shade of crimson. Her right hand was twisted at an odd angle, which most likely meant that she had a broken wrist. "Is she…" he could not bring himself to say the word "dead." If she was… he had promised to protect her…

"No, she is not yet gone," Starfire said, looking at her husband with two worried eyes. "But she is severely damaged."

Nightwing opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out. He had never been in such a position, that of a father whose child is in life-threatening danger. His years as a leader had taught him how to be calm and collected when a team member was injured, but Alette was not a member of the team. Instinct and reason fled his mind as he listened to a cough interrupt Alette's already ragged breathing, bringing with it a few small droplets of blood to decorate her lips. Offering the only comfort that he could think of, Nightwing raised a hand to her face and gingerly wiped away the red spots. He stopped abruptly when his fingers brushed across her bruised jaw, causing her to whimper pitifully. "I'm sorry," he whispered, apologizing for much more than the slight pain he had just caused her. Choking back tears, he brushed a few stray strands of black hair away from her closed eyes and placed a tentative kiss on her forehead. "I'm so sorry."

"Starfire, are you up to carrying Alette back to the Tower?" Cyborg asked, taking control from the devastated Nightwing.

Starfire nodded soundlessly. Her arms instinctively tightened around Alette.

"Beastboy, you take Nightwing." Cyborg looked at his desolate friend and offered him the most comforting smile he could offer. "Don't worry," he said as he watched Beastboy, in the form of a pterodactyl, lift Nightwing off of the ground. "They're going to be okay."

Nightwing made no indication of having heard Cyborg and he remained quiet for the flight back to the Tower. He said nothing as he watched Cyborg stuff tubes into his daughter while Raven lay floating in the bed next to Alette's. He only offered the Titans silence when they told him to get some sleep and did not try to comfort Starfire when she began to cry, both overwhelmed by the situation and worried about her husband. Talking would not help Raven and Alette and had therefore, in Nightwing's mind, become pointless.

And so for the next two days, he remained mute. He did not leave the infirmary for anything, only eating small bites of the food Starfire brought him and dozing unwillingly when his eyes could no longer stay open. He did not help clean up the mess that Jump City had become from their fight. He did not assist the citizens as they were ushered back into the city. Tamara returned with Batman, but he had yet to see his daughter.

When he had come to the Tower with Tamara, Batman sat with his protégé in silence, offering the most comforting company Nightwing had had so far. How long Batman remained in the infirmary with him, Nightwing could not be sure. Time had not been behaving these days, speeding up and slowing down at odd intervals. All Nightwing was sure of was that it had been sunny when Bruce had joined him and that when the masked hero stood to say good-bye, the night was in full bloom. With the next morning would come another twenty four hours of waiting… watching. Lost in this hopeless thought, Nightwing barely noticed the hand on his shoulder. And then Batman spoke words that sparked something in Nightwing… something he had been without ever since returning to the Tower with the unconscious women who lay before him.

"Think of all the things that they have been through. And they have managed to survive it all. Never before have I met two people who are so determined to live."

* * *

A/N: Well, there it is. Now, I want to address a couple of things I saw when I was reading reviews for the last chapter. 

To Oni Tokage: Yes, I will have to deviate from the series. Whether I did it in a more interesting way or not is up to you. It was Raven's 35th birthday.

To Chica De Los Ojos Café: If you thought the red-robed figure was Keahi, then you were right!

To Duskywhiterose: Starfire is beginning to see that the world is painted in shades of grey, not black and white. And, contrary to popular belief, I do like her… once I manage to see past that bubbly exterior.

To UtterlyInsane: Yes, Keahi picked her up. And he's still bad. You'll find no "bad guy turns good" plot twists here. And now you have an explanation as to why Alette found it so easy to get into Trigon's mind. And, on a totally unrelated side note, I got my scores back from my IB tests and I managed to get the diploma! Those years were not wasted!

So, I leave you for now with promises of the next chapter coming much sooner than this one did (I already have some of it written). Don't forget to review!

Ashlyn


	12. Epilogue

Disclaimer: The Teen Titans aren't mine.

A/N: Well, I thought I had decided that this story wasn't ever going to be finished, but I'm not the kind of person who likes to leave things unfinished and I found myself with some time last night… long story short, I decided that it was time to bring some closure to DWYHTD. That's what this is. Originally, way back right after I wrote the last chapter, there was going to be another chapter and an epilogue. I don't have both in me anymore, so I opted to just write an epilogue. Maybe it does the rest of this story justice, and maybe it doesn't, but I'm happy with it because it does what I needed it to do and ends it. I hope it's not too disappointing to the people who kept asking me to finish it. It's not betaed, so I apologize for any rough areas.

There are some details that I couldn't fit into this narrative, so some story notes before you start… I have Alette being bald because the last time we saw her, she had a pretty significant crack in her skull and I had a friend with an injury like that and she had to have her head shaved for the doctor's to fix it… anyway, I'm just trying to be realistic. Also, Alette doesn't have any of her powers anymore, having done the whole transfer thing. And I would say that this picks up about a week after where the last chapter leaves off.

**Epilogue: Don't Look Back**

_I do what I have to do._

_And I have the sense to recognize that I don't know how to let you go._

_- Do What You Have To Do, Sarah McLachlan_

Violet gaze met violet gaze and for the first time since Raven had given birth to Alette, she was intimidated by her daughter. Perhaps the bald head was what did it, or the massive scar the baldness revealed, or maybe it was the way that, even devoid of power, Alette still seemed to emit a dangerous spark of energy. Whatever it was, Raven tried her best to ignore it.

"So, in conclusion," came the voice of the eighteen year old who was sitting crossed-legged on her hospital bed, arms crossed in defiance, "no powers, no hair, and no father."

"Your hair will grow back, Alette," Raven said in exasperation. "And I'm not denying you a father either. I just think… well, the Tower isn't our home. Gotham is. I think home is the best place for you to be right now. You can always come to visit. I'm sure Robin will insist on it, actually."

"And my powers?" Alette cocked an eyebrow and drummed the fingers of her right hand against her left elbow. Yes, intimidating was the word.

Raven sighed. "Like I said, Alette, I just don't know. Maybe with time we can bring them back but not until your body is fully healed. And even then, nothing might come of our efforts. I've never had to face this kind of situation before."

Alette slumped back on her bed and said nothing.

"Right, well, when you're done pouting, there's dinner for you in the kitchen," Raven said in her best combination of her you-don't-scare-me and you-won't-find-pity-here voices. She turned to leave the infirmary and was walking through the doors when she felt a hand take her own.

"I'm glad you're alive, Mom," Alette said. "I don't think I'd be able to do any of what I have to do without you here to help."

Raven pulled her daughter into a hug that Alette willing accepted. Silently, Raven disagreed with Alette. She knew her daughter well enough to know that she would fight through any adversity life might throw at her and she didn't need her mother's help to do that anymore. It wasn't the missing hair or the scar that had made Alette intimidating, it was the fact that she had grown up and become Raven's equal during the chaotic days they had barely managed to survive.

A brief memory of a little girl clinging to the ends of her mother's cloak, looking up in amazement and admiration flashed across Raven's consciousness. She tightened the hug as she felt a tear run down her cheek, mourning the loss of her daughter's childhood and celebrating the fact that she had lived to conquer the trials of adulthood.

* * *

"We're leaving tomorrow."

Nightwing paused, his fist inches from the punching bag in front of him, to look at his daughter as she walked into the gym. To the untrained eye, Alette might have looked fully recovered, and he knew that's what she wanted people to think. But he had survived enough injuries to know that her slow entrance was not one of apology for interrupting his session, but one that brought the least amount of pain to her still-healing body.

"We're leaving tomorrow," she repeated, "and I know technically our good-byes should be said then, but there are some things I want to say to you that I'd rather just be between us." She reached a bench and Nightwing joined her as she sat down.

"All I ever wanted was a father," Alette began. "When I was little that was all I used to talk about. Of course, I stopped voicing the wish once I realized how much the subject hurt my mom. But I silently kept on wanting him. I used to come up with crazy stories, reasons for why he couldn't be with us. Ironically, in none of them were you ever a superhero," Alette said this as she looked up into Nightwing's masked eyes. "You told me before that you would find a way to work things out. I didn't believe you then, but I let it go in favor of not fighting any more than we had been."

"But Alette-"

Alette stopped Nightwing with a raised hand before he could say anything else. "I'm not quite finished yet. See, things will never be normal between you and me. We missed a crucial part of the whole father/daughter relationship thing. You'll never have to cut up my dinner for me, or carry me when I get tired, or scold me for missing curfew but… I'll be giving the college thing a second try next fall and if you'd like to, I was thinking we could meet for lunch every once in a while and get to know each other."

Nightwing wrapped an arm around Alette's shoulders and she hesitated for only a second before resting her head on his shoulder. "Lunch sounds good," he said. "And you'll have to come visit the Tower occasionally too. I'm not the only one who wants to keep you around, you know."

"Yeah, I've already received some threats of being forcibly dragged here if I don't come around from time to time."

The two sat there in silence for a few moments before Nightwing said in a defeated voice, "I wish I could do more for you… could have done more for you."

Alette sighed heavily and pulled away from him. She stood up and faced her father, a smile gracing her lips. "We can't help what's in the past. I like to think I turned out relatively ok, anyway. And really, what's eighteen years missed when there are a good sixty, seventy, or maybe even eighty years left to work on this?"

"Eighty?" Nightwing repeated, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, you're right, eighty is pushing it. I have the feeling Tamara is going to be a handful. She'll have you in a grave by the time she's my age."

* * *

"Raven, what can I do to convince you to stay?" 

"I was never going to stay, Robin."

The pair were sitting on the roof of the Tower, legs swinging off the side in ways reminiscent of their teenage years. Night was falling on Jump City, and Raven knew that it would be the last moonrise she saw from that particular position. Nightwing persisted in his argument.

"You belong with the Titans, Raven. We're your family."

"There was a time when I belonged with the Titans," Raven said, eyes observing some far off stars as they became visible. "And I've never felt as alone as I did during those first couple of hours after I left all those years ago. I didn't know what I was going to do without the people who had become my family. Then I realized that being pregnant meant that I was never going to be alone again. Add Bruce and Alfred into the equation and… I found a different home. Not better, just different. And that's where I belong now."

"But…" Nightwing's voice trailed off, and he hesitantly placed his hand over Raven's. Encouraged by the fact that she did not pull away, he continued. "You belong with me."

Raven turned her hand over in his so that their fingers interlaced. She studied the pattern saying, "I was wrong not to tell you all of what I'm about to say before I left the first time, but I didn't think Robin would have understood. Nightwing, though, I think he might be able to. I love you, and I won't ever stop. I wasn't really made for love and I certainly wasn't made to fall in love multiple times, so congratulations, you're the lucky recipient of my unwavering affection," she smirked here in an attempt to lighten the mood that was becoming increasingly somber, but Nightwing's frown remained in place. "But in learning to love you I also had to learn that just because you love someone doesn't mean they have to love you back or that they were meant to love you."

"Raven how could you say something like that! I do love you. As long as you have loved me, I have-"

"No," Raven said firmly. "You have Starfire. And though with me you try to deny it, I can see it. You married her, you gave her a child, and you have always protected her. I hardly think that any of those things could be accomplished without love."

"It's different with Starfire. She's not… she's not you."

"Yes, it is different with her. What we had was the passion of the love of two teenagers. Have you ever noticed that? Teenagers go around saying they're in love when they probably aren't even sure what it is. Looking back, I know that's exactly what we had and right here, right now, I know that I nurtured that love for all these years and it grew and matured with me. You didn't have Alette, and I know that she is what kept me loving you. So you looked to other people to fill that place that I had once occupied, and you found Starfire. I don't think you replaced me, Robin," Raven said, meeting his eyes with hers for the first time since the conversation had started.

He, however, could not bring himself to return the gesture. His eyes now turned to their still-entwined hands and he said, voice heavy with guilt, "But that's how I've felt ever since I let myself love Starfire."

"You can't help who you fall in love with," Raven said. She took her hand from Nightwing's and placed both of them on his face, forcing him to look at her. Then, so quickly he wasn't sure it had happened, Raven's lips met his in what he knew was one last kiss. Before he had time to enjoy the warmth her closeness brought, however, she was on her feet and halfway to the door.

"Raven!" Nightwing called out, shocked by the utter desperation in his voice.

He saw her shake her head back and forth… watched as her fists clenched… and heard in her voice the tears she was fighting back. "I made a choice eighteen years ago, and we're still suffering the consequences. We've gotten ourselves too deeply entrenched in lives that can't be lived while the other one is around. I won't let you ruin the life you have… I won't help you hurt that little girl of yours, Robin. The truth is, we can talk about how we wish things were different, but in reality, if we want to survive… if we want to make the best out of what life throws at us, then we do what we have to do to make what we're given good enough. I'm happy in Gotham with Alette and Bruce and Alfred and my little book store. And I know you're happy with your family and the Titans. And knowing that you've found an alternate route to happiness makes me feel not so bad about leaving you all those years ago. Just think if I hadn't, then you wouldn't have Tamara." There was a pause in which Raven chanced a glance up at Nightwing, who by this time had come to stand next to her.

"You are happy, aren't you Robin?"

He considered his words very carefully. "If this life with Starfire is what you want for me, Raven, then I'll be happy in it. I'll be happy because I know it's what you want for me. But that doesn't mean that I won't still think about you."

Raven nodded. "I think that's acceptable."

"Mom? Mom, are you up here?" The calls came from Alette, her voice getting louder as she pushed the door to the rooftop open. "Mom, Cyborg says…" Alette left the words hanging in the air as her eyes fell upon her parents, both looking beaten but resolute. She took in the sight of them together and stored it in her memory, knowing that moments like this one would be few and far between. "Um… Cyborg says that you can't spend your last night in the Tower on the roof by yourself," she finished, feeling awkward for having interrupted whatever had been going on.

"We were on our way down," Raven said. She left Nightwing's side and joined her daughter at the door and as he followed the two of them down the stairs, Nightwing made a silent promise to them and to himself to never let them get as far away as they had been before.


End file.
